than the one you loved.
than the liar
than the fool
than the unfaithful
than the bored
than the lonely
than the desperate
than the selfish
than the leech
than the cowardly
than the lifeless
than the confused
than all of them.
"you deserve so much better"
isn't that what you said?
funny how it feels as though
maybe I've heard that somewhere before...
Nov 13, 2012
Nov 13, 2012 at 1:29 AM UTC
They only want
Me to entertain
Them.
Like the tiger prowling
In the zoo
That makes you
Feel a little guilty
For smiling at his
Misery.
And the cameras
Flash away
And the kids scream
And cry.
I am the the tiger
Complete with
Broken spirit
And hollow eyes.
But the crowds
Will always come…
And someone must
Entertain them.
It is the way of the world.
Nov 7, 2012
Nov 7, 2012 at 12:13 AM UTC
And it's nights like tonight
while i sit in the dark
alone at last
and the weight of life
of sin
and death
and pain
of losing one's mind
all press down upon
my shoulders
at once.
And there the vultures
wait for me to bleed.
Nov 5, 2012
Nov 5, 2012 at 12:54 AM UTC
sometimes
if i close my eyes
and try real hard
i can still feel
your warmth
on my lips
and smell the
sweetness
of your breath.
it creeps like poison
down my throat
until my heart
beats no more.
i know that
never again
will i kiss you
goodbye
my love.
Oct 25, 2012
Oct 25, 2012 at 6:04 PM UTC
It’s hard to admit that
sometimes it doesn’t mean anything
that everyone you care about is selfish
and you don’t really know them at all.
It’s hard to admit that
time passes and you can’t feel
to know that life is slipping away
and you couldn’t care less.
It’s hard to admit that
it was all for nothing
the heartbreak and tears
they’ll just **** someone else.
It’s hard to admit that
you have no control
and that death waits for no one
not even the ones you like.
It’s hard to admit that
for some people
there is no happy ending.
And there’s nothing to be done
but hope the next beer
will put you out of your misery
for tonight.
Oct 17, 2012
Oct 17, 2012 at 1:12 AM UTC
You were
once nothing
and nowhere
to me.
Eventually
life will
make it that
way again.
It can
never last,
because if it did,
what would
I write about?
Nobody wants
to read
about how
in love you are.
They want you
on your knees.
They want
you begging
for mercy.
******* vampires.
Sep 14, 2012
Sep 14, 2012 at 11:18 AM UTC
**** dresses,
I'm a tomboy!"
as she rubs blush
on her cheek bones.
Covering up the
insecurities
from the boy
last week.
Sep 9, 2012
Sep 9, 2012 at 12:39 AM UTC
I remember how you looked that night.
We ate McDonalds,
you hate McDonalds.
And you played in the play place with me.
We laid in the tube,
just staring.
Wanting.
And I ached to close the distance between
Our bodies and stay that way forever.
Then we decided it smelled like ****
so maybe we should go.
I drove us to the parking lot
where we spent so much time
******* holding, sweating, laughing,
listening to Jack Johnson.
On the look out for cops.
Just two kids trying to love
without consequence.
I should have known then.
And I decided at that moment,
that I loved you still.
Despite everything.
Your drunken stupidity
your ******* *****
You stole for her.
And I took you to her house
where you would
have *** with her
and I would drive
away crying.
I loved you still.
In that eternal moment, I knew
I would always forgive you.
The kiss that led to disaster.
A plane crash in the making.
But at least it was beautiful at the time.
Time waited for us, only that once.
We got out of the car and you told me
to meet you in the middle of the pond.
It’s frozen.
No no, I protested.
It’s dangerous,
It’s dangerous.
And I was right.
Out you slid
Large gashes in the snow covered ice
as you slid gracefully.
Or maybe it wasn’t so graceful after all,
But that’s what I liked about you.
I followed you to the center
you held my hand
and we skated for hours.
I never let go—
If I was going down,
I was taking you with me.
You were the only one who could
ever save me anyway.
Then we walked down the path,
towards the place where it all began.
That place still creates an emptiness
in me every time I pass
without you.
Still hand in hand,
we danced under the
biggest snowflakes I have ever seen.
The heavens were falling down around us it seemed,
or perhaps we were finally leaving that
hell hole of a town.
Finally going somewhere where
we could just be alone.
Alone at last.
Laughing as we caught
them on our tongues.
I told you I would love you forever
and I wish it was lie.
Maybe you even said the same to me.
Your words fade as the
time passes,
the bitterness grows.
My mind can never agree
with my heart
on the subject of you.
But back to the story—
It felt
felt very real
at the time.
And if I could stay in that moment,
I probably would.
For in that moment,
it was us at our best.
You. With me.
But all things must come to an end.
And though the image of
you spinning
me laughing
at you trying to
eat snowflakes,
will be mine forever.
I felt it at that moment.
Maybe that was a sign that I knew
you would be mine to miss
one day.
Alas, we decided it was getting late,
we had only told your mother
we were getting McDonalds.
But I’m pretty sure we ****** again.
Adding to our pile of condoms
littering the school grounds.
It was a point of pride.
Still don’t know how we
never got caught.
We returned to your house
to watch animal planet.
And for that night,
all was right in my universe.
And now,
as the years go by,
you slowly fade.
Your voice
Your laugh
Your love
Your smile
Your face
Who you were.
Alien.
Something cold and unfamiliar.
Uncomfortable. Awkward.
Rude. Judgmental.
I hold on to those moments
of the real you.
The you that was mine for a short while.
As I try to let the stranger
you have become
slip away,
those moments remind me
of what it is to be alone.
Perhaps not all is lost,
because they give me
that overwhelming
out of control feeling
of finally knowing everything.
That everything is ******
but it’s ok.
As long as we kept spinning
in the snow.
Sep 7, 2012
Sep 7, 2012 at 5:44 PM UTC
Sometimes I wake up
in the middle of the night
surrounded by monsters.
Naked and twisted
like a dancer;
they are coming for me.
Lurking in the corners
creeping up the bed
clawing at the sheets.
They want to consume
my soul.
But I laugh,
a crazed choke of a sound.
The joke’s on them,
they don’t know
that it was stolen
long ago.
Foolish monsters,
I am one of you.
Sep 1, 2012
Sep 1, 2012 at 12:11 PM UTC
Sometimes the only way I can
breathe is to remind myself that
you aren’t you.
Not anymore.
Amber eyes don't shine for me.
The moon comes and goes,
but I’d never admit
that I notice.
The memories linger,
like me at the window
as you walked away,
forever reminding my heart
of what it already knows.
And voices
still ****** my heart with words
that drive me insane.
You and tequila.
Aug 27, 2012
Aug 27, 2012 at 1:42 PM UTC