katsa
I'm actually really anxious about posting things here, even though it's anonymous. I used to write more often, but life has interceded and that makes me so unbelievably sad. But I'm going to post as regularly as possible though, because I need to. So I apologize in advance, for my sub-par, crap-tastic writing.
Yes, I should go see a counselor...
My father died recently and I can't tell if I'm coping or not.
Yes, I should probably take anxiety medication...
Or something, because these nightmares have been going on for a month straight.
Yes, I should go see a doctor instead of ignoring the obvious cries of distress from my body...
Except I can't right now because work cut my hours and I've lost my health insurance.
Yes, I should not cut myself...
Which I haven't for a long time, but I still get the urge every time I get stressed.
Yes, I should not throw up...
Which I don't really do anymore, because I found someone who claims to like my body the way it is.
Yes, I should not be me...
Because I want to experience more of this world, and I can't if I'm stuck.
Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.
But I am
Nov 24, 2014
Nov 24, 2014 at 2:35 AM UTC
My gift wrapping skills
Are still quite mediocre
I'd really rather not...
Dec 23, 2013
Dec 23, 2013 at 7:26 PM UTC
And it feels like
We're on the brink of something incredible.
I need your steady breath behind me as I lie awake at night
A gentle metronome, to solace me
as the twisting
root of doubt
thrives
in the darkness
delving
and
branching
from neuron
to neuron
Choking me wi th anxiety
until bre athing
be comes a
d istant
mem-
or-
y
But It's then
That I lean back
Against your chest
To touch the ebb and flow,
The rise and fall,
The simple, solid rhythm
Of your soul keeping time;
The only constant i'll ever need
Is You and Me.
Dec 20, 2013
Dec 20, 2013 at 1:32 PM UTC
There's a light flickering in the attic
The shutters,
They creak and they clack
There's a knife in my sheath
There's a horror
Beneath
Where we're going
there's no coming back...
There's a terrible plot that's unfolding
A machinist we may never see
Chilling shrieks and shrill screams
"So much worse than my dreams."
...
They're just parts now;
Silent. Company.
Dec 5, 2013
Dec 5, 2013 at 12:13 PM UTC
The waves of blood run over me,
Like water through my hair.
The crimson tide comes rushing in
But I do not feel fear.
For I am just a little cell,
Clinging to the walls.
Arteries, veins, and ventricles
**A ****** wave of awe.**
Sep 26, 2013
Sep 26, 2013 at 9:56 AM UTC
Look down from the skies
There is ash upon your brow
The colors toxic
Sep 25, 2013
Sep 25, 2013 at 8:16 AM UTC
I can't begin to tell you what it's like day after day
To sit about and wonder: Where'm I going? What's the way?
For me, every path is dark; they're shrouded from my eyes,
By the fog that's been a hindrance since I was young and realized
That the people all around me once had plans and wants and dreams,
That they'd craved fame and riches and had aspired to genius schemes,
They'd recall their greatest childhood hopes and I slowly learned
That somehow, Disappointment was the only thing they'd earned.
This or that had stopped them from achieving their potential
And by and by they'd lost sight of goals once held essential.
In all their lives, whether young or old, the story was the same
great plummeting falls from such lofty heights, and the world was to blame.
Not all of them were bitter, some accepted it as fate
I'd wished they'd never told me, but by then it was too late,
To plug my ears and never learn that I can never win
And so my dreaming heart died, and reality set in.
Jun 30, 2013
Jun 30, 2013 at 5:38 AM UTC
Do it for beauty.
For all the things you've seen that made your eyes glow and your aspirations soar, for all the wonders of this wide, wide world that you've yet to behold.
For the things you want to change and the people you want to touch, for all the empowerment that comes with throwing off the shackles of fear and doubt, for all the love you want to grow, nourish and share.
There should be but one goal: to see, and touch, and feel, and spread the magic of life; the universe can teach us such valuable lessons, if only we take the care to learn.
May 5, 2013
May 5, 2013 at 5:50 AM UTC
She sparks in me a rage so dark
My stomach gets to roiling
I just want to rip out her throat
My blood's so hot it's boiling
Alas, alas, It cannot be
Such bloodlust is quite unbecoming
She's fortunate that I am me
Or I would name her 'usurper'
And soon would have her running.
Feb 28, 2013
Feb 28, 2013 at 10:29 AM UTC
man on the bus coughed
it sounded like a goat laugh
please don't get me sick
Feb 11, 2013
Feb 11, 2013 at 8:18 PM UTC