there is something to be said for the cathartic release of writing down all my thoughts (word *****
doesn't help me hours later though
in the moment there are no words
just tears and upset
Apr 28, 2025
Apr 28, 2025 at 11:12 PM UTC
everything is on your schedule
which only allows for two hours for anything other than being at home
dinner with friends, family visits, vacations
(we've never once had a real vacation as a couple)
use your timeline
moving in, marriage, buying a house
decades pass because I let it
your depression is suffocating
Apr 28, 2025
Apr 28, 2025 at 10:58 PM UTC
Here we are again
another Friday night
you asleep and me awake
I once again beg with ignored pleas
can't bring myself to give voice to this
but if you refuse to help yourself
I am going to eventually stop
throwing you a life line
Apr 4, 2025
Apr 4, 2025 at 9:04 PM UTC
We both cried tonight
Yours was painful, gut wrenching
Mine is silent and continuing even as you sleep (how can you sleep?)
I cannot believe you think you aren't worthy of someone so broken
Mar 29, 2025
Mar 29, 2025 at 10:30 PM UTC
I am sick of you hiding things
found your vapes yet again
in the car, the bathroom, the kitchen pantry
you "don't smoke that much, just when stressed"
I know there are worse things to be addicted to, but why can't you be honest
when questioned I turn into the villain
Mar 29, 2025
Mar 29, 2025 at 10:29 PM UTC
You used to be so full of life
Now I have a list of things you hate, which right now feels like it includes me
So I go alone, to meet my family, to work events, to see friends
I don't even want to invite you anymore
I feel so sad that I can't balance this you with the old you
Should I have known this is who you'd grow up to be?
Should I have taken steps years ago to separate myself?
Mar 29, 2025
Mar 29, 2025 at 10:06 PM UTC
I want you to be afraid of losing me
Maybe it'll happen today (tomorrow)
I am all in and you can’t be bothered to see that
I deserve to have my love returned just as fiercely as I give it (away)
Jan 21, 2024
Jan 21, 2024 at 2:23 PM UTC
The happily ever after (that we both never shared)
That night you looked at me, told me your hopes, dreams, plans.
I had never known, never asked.
I assumed (was scared) you didn't think the same as me
I wasn't sure it was real, convinced it was a good dream.
Until the next morning you pulled me close,
whispering you want to wake up next to me until we are wrinkly and gray. (I am going to love you until the end)
Jan 21, 2024
Jan 21, 2024 at 2:18 PM UTC
you've been gone longer than you were even here (stop trying to add me on social media)
you don't get to be written about (anymore), don't get to see where I am, how I've grown
fairy tales do exist, you just weren't mine (sixteen year old me would be crushed)
Jun 26, 2020
Jun 26, 2020 at 5:40 PM UTC