The Art of Subconscious Illusion is an elusive tendency towards the averse,
or rather,
the act of lying to oneself
Oft times you’ll find yourself wondering how...
…how you lost her…how you lost love…
how you lost yourself
Your mind a jumble of
spiral static,
coils of confusion, twisting malevolently,
failing and falling,
flawed and faulty,
feeble and fading,
you slowly begin to yearn for a second chance,
wish that you had performed more charmingly in the blistering tragedy of feelings lost...
but there are few second chances in the misfortunes of life.
the damage is done, and now you must live with the consequences
of a dying will to persist in this journey,
the ups
the downs
the laughter
the pain
after endless days of convincing yourself you’re not to blame you finally see it for what it is...
You made the choice
you made your bed, and now you must lie in it…
and as you slowly make your way towards the reclining slope of the soft satin covers you’ll begin to see….
it was not a bed your actions relayed....
....it was a coffin
Jun 22, 2017
Jun 22, 2017 at 8:51 PM UTC
I peer out the porthole into the chaos of the storm,
Disorder, my sole companion
Blue waves crash along the jagged rocks
sprays of melancholic gloom
the wind howls
sounding like the ghosts of past memories
decayed wooden decks rotting from
the salty air
a wailing gust originates from the rusting iron of the ships hull
a hex is placed on it’s journey as the shadowy vessel tears through
the gloomy waters of its past
The past is only a memory,
as I find myself once again in the company of madness
Mar 6, 2017
Mar 6, 2017 at 2:35 PM UTC
How horrible it was
to wake up to your cries for help.
I came to find you had fallen,
your oxygen disconnected,
the clear tubes lying in a tangle
on your bedroom floor.
At first, you had been conscious,
your beautiful brown eyes looked up at me pleadingly,
and then you were gone.
I was alone and terrified,
having dealt with this before
I couldn’t say it was anything new,
but this time was different than the script of
past events.
Wishing I could escape like a bird in flight,
I knew I had no power to save you,
The harsh truth of my reality
suffocated me. My walls closing in
as I realized what was happening
in this moment.
Prior to this,
you had always made it to the hospital alright,
arguing with paramedics,
but this time,
you were motionless and cold.
I’ll never forget the blue stillness of your lips,
or the way the light left your eyes
as you departed the material world
and finally found peace in eternal rest.
Mar 4, 2017
Mar 4, 2017 at 7:24 PM UTC
You say we’re in love,
you say it’s forever…a hundred years to be precise,
yet here I sit, alone with the wonder of insincerity
He says we’re in love…
or rather he said we were,
That’s in the past
Messages exchanged were dripping
with admiration and joy,
Daily reminders of love dwindled to
daily, weekly, monthly… gone
“I love you” was something I was too used to hearing,
took for granted even… and now?
you won’t even respond to a simple hello
you can’t blame me to think our love has met it’s end
When your gut is in tangles,
writhing like snakes, your tongue inundated with the bitterness of dread,
There’s a reason people say to trust your gut… and here I am,
with the unabating feeling that something’s gone terribly wrong
Many would say its emotional abuse, yet I can’t seem to notice that trend…
He’s making a game of your emotions, they say,
yet here I stay
I’ll be waiting in this silence forever,
waiting for a call that never comes…
waiting with a love that’s been forgotten
Mar 1, 2017
Mar 1, 2017 at 6:30 PM UTC