You killed my heart.
By it was my fault.
I was searching for reasons to make you hate me.
A master of my twisted craft, I forced you into this.
Now I sit amongst the smoking rubble of my life,
Everything burnt away but the pain.
I tip my empty glass in agony, willing just one more drop to appear,
To satisfy my thirst.
My dreams are mostly dead, my latest is to keep the drunken stupor for as long as possible.
This bland, empty nothing, with the dull ache reminding me that you're never going to love me.
Though I loathe those who succumb to wallowing, I finally understand the hype.
For there truly is nothing so beautiful and sweet as someone in the throes of self torment.
Jul 31, 2014
Jul 31, 2014 at 5:15 PM UTC
Can't have it
Don't want it
I say it
But I don't mean it
You're it
I'm sick
Your wit
Feeds my addiction
I'm over it
You want it
Don't get it
**** this I've had it
Jul 31, 2014
Jul 31, 2014 at 4:50 PM UTC
sinking drowning dying [spinning] throwing going
down
around inside my head it unfurls
the fire unleased and spent and taken
by surprise I’m falling spiralling twisting-
turning and dizzied by the lack of breathing
Picked UP and lost in the hustle of going
going being seeing buying lying through the
truth becoming clearer by nights of w a r p e d
mirrors and powdered lines in scheming minds
of the bad choiced losers of our time.
Shaking hands and sleeping bands the drum
pounds a beat in my head that I can hear as
I leap from incandescent memory to horror
film in one swift turn of phrase.
Goodnight and goodbye stars and constellations
That once played an intricate role.
you have been most helpful –
Jan 21, 2014
Jan 21, 2014 at 1:00 AM UTC
The moon is quiet and thoughtful.
Roads barren and damp with the sweat of horses and their riders.
Prints of disheveled hooves embedded in the ground.
The putrid smell of smog, hints of cobblestone and blithering drunks, waits in the distance.
London’s finest on Fleet Street, where the people live in fear.
Todd glares into the fiercely sparse street and mourns a farewell to a life of prosperity.
Lamps flicker as the oil barely lingers, while dawn silently but swiftly approaches.
The poets dream for slews of new and benevolent days, whilst their slumber is interrupted by the tower bell.
Six times the ringing and the brightest star reveals its radiant beauty o’er the steamy ledges of London.
Jan 21, 2014
Jan 21, 2014 at 12:56 AM UTC
don’t put down the pen
keep going
struggle through the pain sweat it out
tears and jeers they come and push your face to the ground
these decisions have never been so hard
and I’m drowning in all the fear and disappointment
that I might not be cut out for this.
I have to reach higher ground but lack the will
please tell me I can
take me back to when it all made sense
where none of this matter and we can just be.
be free and be forever happy and willing to take chances or break hearts trying to feel something
again we are back to this game of wishing we had it all when we really need to understand that
- everything we lost we already have.
cry for me baby but cry only once
pick yourself up again and walk tall towards the shining bliss that
may pull you under
but simultaneously makes you stronger.
the biggest unanswered question of the century is
how do we get out of life alive?
Jan 21, 2014
Jan 21, 2014 at 12:54 AM UTC
It started with you grabbing my hand.
That first touch, my heart never knew how to beat so fast.
We moved to the music as hundreds of people around us melted away.
The room went fuzzy, perhaps from the many cups of courage, but your face is clear in my mind.
I remember how you smiled at me, your eyes penetrating mine.
How you knew just what I needed in that moment, feeling so secure and yet weightless.
Your lips tasted sweet like cherries in the sun; the sheer decadence of that memory makes me dizzy with lust.
Your eyes filled with such a certainty, however, glazed with previous decisions and future consequences.
We left that moment in time for what seems an eternity, and may never return.
But the happiness I felt for that brief interval has nourished my heart and kindled my soul.
I welcome the sorrows that come, for they will be burned out with our fire.
Jan 21, 2014
Jan 21, 2014 at 12:52 AM UTC
...Give me a blank canvass and I'll paint you a picture
Give me your mind and I'll teach you to believe
Trust me with your hands and I'll show you how to love
Embrace me with your body and we'll make music together.
Shower me with your words and I'll cleanse your soul with mine.
Cut me with your anger and I'll bleed your reasons.
Give me your tears and I'll make you smile again.
Quench my heart of its longing and I'll do whatever it takes.
Speak to me with truth and I'll sing to you with love.
Sit quietly with me and I'll tell you my secrets.
Fall asleep in my arms and I'll guide you to good dreams
Wish upon a star for me and I'll wish on one too...
Jan 21, 2014
Jan 21, 2014 at 12:45 AM UTC
You kissed my head
as your arms closed tight around my body
embraced-
encapsulated, protected and smitten by your gentle touch
your love is a mystery that keeps me guessing.
I want more.
My love is selfish and unrelenting
as my addiction grows stronger.
But you do not pull away
and this keeps my heart beating steadily.
Your shadows can't hide from me
I see them in your eyes
even when you don't see me looking.
They keep you sad
but you forget that I know your hell.
How it's greedy, unjust consumption of our happiness
is the latest trend.
You softly trace your fingers on my skin and I am feeling you.
Jan 20, 2014
Jan 20, 2014 at 11:56 PM UTC
This feeling
I've felt before
It has returned for a brief moment in time
to torment me further.
Leave my head - my heart
flutters with every word, every sound, every letter
from my memory.
Every song in my head on replay in your eyes
Let's press rewind and go back to where limitless was a lifestyle
When sunsets melted into sunrises and
For lack of sleep we laughed till we cried.
When I remember us at our best.
Dec 29, 2013
Dec 29, 2013 at 2:36 PM UTC