It's 1130 and I can feel my stomach growling
I haven't eaten since yesterday morning
I am missing you like crazy and I am think about what we could have been
I don't know why I ever fell in love with you
I don't know why I still am
But I do know one thing
And that is that I will love you to the day I die
Just like how my body loves me
Just like how there a million cells fighting to keep me alive right now
I will fight like a billion cells to keep you alive
Because you are what keeps me from pulling the trigger
You are the only reason I am here tonight
And you don't know that
And you never will.
Jun 11, 2014
Jun 11, 2014 at 11:45 PM UTC
Do you ever stand in a room full of people and feel alone?
Everyone’s talking and having a good time,
laughing, enjoying themselves.
I’m never truly alone
there is always someone near by.
Mostly because they don’t trust me anymore.
I’m never alone,
but I always feel alone.
Alone at night when the walls of my bedroom are my closet friends
Alone when I smile at you,
to let you know that I’m okay
and that you don’t need to worry.
Because when I see you,
I look to your eyes.
I see galaxies in those blue oceans
And at the sight of those stars staring back at me,
I feel hopeful.
There is always hope in your eyes,
no matter how down you are.
You are a poem with feet,
and I can write hundreds and thousands of poems about those eyes.
And how when you touch me,
I can feel flowers growing inside my lungs
and I how I can feel butterflies flying around in my stomach.
And when you’re not around,
I feel dead inside.
As the days pass by that you aren’t around
it gets harder to put on the costume and go on with the show.
But I will do it for you.
So when I see you,
when ever that is,
I know that you will ask if I’m okay.
I will say that I’m fine.
That I’m okay
Because I know that I will never be truly alone,
when a piece of me is always with you.
Apr 10, 2014
Apr 10, 2014 at 8:24 AM UTC
It seems like just yesterday that I was ten
Still new to the world and what it holds
Some people will hold you back
Some will push you to hard
You either grow up too fast or too slow
There is no in between
And I have so many questions
Most that I will never know the answer to.
It seems like just yesterday that I was five
Playing in the backyard
Getting into my siblings things
Lying to get out of trouble
It was just princess and pirates
Mickey and Minnie Mouse
You just have to stay out the big guys way
and you will be just fine
I didn’t have to deal with the weight of the world
Fights were for fun
fought with water guns.
Now everyone is watching your every move
Talking, yelling, lying about you
What has the world come to
Killing time, more like killing each other
That’s why I act like a child sometimes
To remember the time where everything was a-okay
I like to play pretend
to forget this world
and make a new one in my mind.
It seems like just yesterday
But time doesn’t wait for anyone.
Mar 21, 2014
Mar 21, 2014 at 12:48 PM UTC
I understand how you couldn't be there
For school or sports
I understand that you couldn't be there for Christmas or my birthdays
You were working
Always working
But you know what I don't understand
How you couldn't at least call or stop by
Even if it was just for a few minutes
And when you do
You yell and scream
Telling me about how I'm not good enough
That I am a failure
A waste of a good name
My life plays in front of you
You didn't hear my pleading and crying
Where the hell have you been
Have you been well?
Getting everything you wanted?
You don't seem to notice when I'm hurt
When I skip a meal
Yet I still notice when you are tired and feeling down
That's the problem here
I've been there for everything you do and try for
I supported you even when I knew you would fail
You haven't done ****
You don't see when I am unhappy
You don't notice when I don't come out of my room for days
I am never going to be the best there ever was
It is just not going to happen
Just like how you aren't going to be there for me
I get that now
You won't be there for me
And I won't be there for you
Jan 17, 2014
Jan 17, 2014 at 10:55 AM UTC
I have not slept for days
My eyelids won't shut
My brain won't turn off
Everything is just a blurred mess
I'm a mess
Between work and school
I am all strung out
It doesn't even hurt anymore
I used to have the pain
Now it's all numb
My hands shake
My walk is wobbly
My writing is off and I keep forgetting words
Yet nobody notices
I hand things in late
I don't show up for thing
Yet nobody notices
I have not slept for days
The music won't stop in my head
The stories I make up at night
About what my life could be like
What I could be like
The wishes I make on those blinking stars
They never come true
It is a waste of time
I stare at the clock wishing time would move faster
But the numbers are new to me
I've got used to this feeling
I've gotten used to feeling sick
I know it's not healthy
But what am I supposed to do?
My wrists are torn
My heart is in pieces
My brain won't shut off
I have not slept
Jan 16, 2014
Jan 16, 2014 at 8:03 PM UTC
I don't know what to do
About my feelings for you
I just know that they are there
and they are strong.
It is hard for me
To see you sad
It is hard for me
to see you worry
Knowing that it if because of me.
These feelings
They add to my many problems
Problems that you don't seem to mind
But this type of problem
I like.
You are the problem
A problem
That I don't know how to solve
and that hurts
I know that you have these feelings too
You have told me before that you do.
I wish that you would act on these feelings
because I am trying to
But I have never been good at this
You might not know
But I am just as scared of falling in love
Just like you
But here's the thing
I know that I am falling,
for you.
Jan 16, 2014
Jan 16, 2014 at 5:39 PM UTC
I see you
Faking that smile you have perfected and made it your art
But that smile never reaches your eyes,
eyes that are dark and clouded with pain
Come on over here love
You can cry on my shoulder if you need
I don't mind,
I will listen to what ever you have to say
When you sad and down
Just remember ***
I am here for you
I love you and care for you deeply
So come into my arms
I will hold you through the night,
till you wake in the morning with a smile on your face
These feeling won't last forever
I will be here with you to the end
Because, love
You are the lightness to my dark word
You might not know it
But you mean more to me than my own life,
which I would give for you in a heartbeat
All I ask is that you will be there for me when I need you most,
just like I have been here for you all this time.
Dec 16, 2013
Dec 16, 2013 at 4:48 PM UTC
It's not all in your head
It's all around you
Coming out of peoples mouths
The things they say, that's what leaves the scars you see on their wrists
"Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me",
that's the biggest ******* lie I have ever heard
Words do hurt, they ****
I would rather be hit and punched and kicked and beaten down everyday,
than have to sit there and listen to what people say
The words are forever edged into your brain,
they leave their marks
You can never forget them
They are always there
Waiting for you
Haunting you
They **** you from the inside out and nobody sees until it's too late
They are there to convince you that you are not good enough
That you will always be a failure
You will never get better
You will forever be broken
Words do hurt
They are like bullets right to the heart
So stop your words before they **** someone
Dec 11, 2013
Dec 11, 2013 at 4:37 PM UTC