I'll never be more disappointed in the words
Their job is to conglomerate into cohesive, coherent expressions
Always, they've done this for me
True, their message has changed
But their capacity to carry out meaning, order, and a clear, articulate thought has been unwavering
But I turn to them now and they are clumsy, weak, light, and foreign
I fumble on these useless and tiresome words as I think up a way to communicate to you just what it is you mean to me
I love you
Is white noise
Every combination is an understatement
Photos can't capture it
My paintings can't replicate it
This love demands to be felt and that is all I can do
With every intracacy and nuance of my existence, every book I ever read, every lesson I've ever learned, everything I was, am, and will be, ever aspect of my being, every ounce of my soul, all that I have
Because I can't translate it to words, I will have to suffice in keeping it in it's rawest form
And while I will never be able to express it to consummation,
I feel so wholely and genuinely in love with you
Jan 31, 2016
Jan 31, 2016 at 3:35 PM UTC
One more season we pass through
Remaining me, remaining you
While some things never change
Others are set in an opposite motion
Hurtling continuously, inevitably, inherently toward "change"
I know we'll never be the same now just as we will never be who we were at the end of summer. But winter is coming and spring and I can't we to see who we become. Who we've been. Who we are. I'm fine with change so long as you remain constant in this change with me. Love you dearly, love you often. Happy months happy time happy season
Nov 24, 2015
Nov 24, 2015 at 8:12 AM UTC
Crash break sleep take
My heart and make it your's too
One in the same, melt, weld, stain
All my thoughts and memories and love
Melt into all the forms of love that I give and receive, ebb and flow
you and I
Til that's all that I know
So encompassing
Promising taunting and teasing
Miss me kiss me and stay just a little longer for a little while once again and again the day after and again and again
I will always want to play with you
To chase you
I will always love you for making me this way
For showing me it was there all along
For helping me discover a part of me I didn't know existed
Nov 10, 2015
Nov 10, 2015 at 3:14 AM UTC
I resent the moon and stars and the clouds that allow them to glow
The hot cold air and transition-dusk
Once filled me
Inspired and cooled the heat and sun and reality that encompassed the day
Nighttime meant love songs and promises and dreams
And dreams
But now that the nights weigh more than the dense days
Since you've filled my head and heart and left them heavy with concern
All I can do is worry and analyze and occupy my nights with day dreams of the nights I dreamt of you and you only
Aug 26, 2015
Aug 26, 2015 at 2:53 AM UTC
the bounding bouncing onward downward trail of the decent
(falling)
coming down, down, back, back with our pack packs
back to the earth
to lower elevation
to safety?
the return
coming back
switch back in the path
going back
sliding back
to how things were
how I miss the summit
Jul 31, 2015
Jul 31, 2015 at 11:21 AM UTC
this is for when
you mean to remember but don't
you want to be there but you won't
and when you're running late
or you've forgotten that we'd made a date
for when you're meaning well
or when I'm upset or hurting and you can't tell
when you want to find a way to fix what once was missed
you don't know what it is you've done wrong
for when we fall asleep listening to heartbreak songs
this is for when you can't come through
like you sometimes tend to do
it's ok
because I know that you will make it right
I know what we have is worth the fight
I know (even when you don't) that you're a good man
I know you're doing everything you can
You would never intentionally make my cry
and if you were in proximity, you'd never just stand by
You're trying so hard to always do it all
and sometimes in the juggling act I'm the one that falls
it's ok this time around again
because before we were "us", we were friends
and I know you better than to get caught up with petty fights
I know when I deserve better and I know when what I've got is right
Jun 18, 2015
Jun 18, 2015 at 2:08 AM UTC
"'Help,' he said, 'is giving a part of yourself to someone who comes to accept it willingly and needs it badly. So it is,' he said, using an old homiletic transition, 'that we can seldom help anybody. Either we don't know what part to give or maybe we don't like to give any part of ourselves. Then, more often than not, the part that is needed is not wanted. And even more often, we do not have the part that is needed. It is like the auto-supply shop over town where they always say, 'Sorry, we are just out of that part.'"
May 14, 2015
May 14, 2015 at 9:45 AM UTC
I want to keep your attention even after you go
I'm trying to be the girl you wanna know
I wanna be smart and mysterious
serious and hilarious
genuinely beautiful
sincerely intentional
but I'm burning out-trying so hard to shine for you
May 7, 2015
May 7, 2015 at 9:14 PM UTC
I think if you do it right you're comprised of places you grew up and people that love you. Things that didn't change when everything else did and those little unexpected moments of gratitude for your inifinite blessings. To be made small, not in an insignificant way, but to be given perspective. To be consumed in love for friends, family-extended and immediate-by blood and by acquaintance-by circumstance and experience. I think if you're doing it right you wake to great the day, just as she has you, and this silly life fills to the brim
May 7, 2015
May 7, 2015 at 8:02 PM UTC
ending things before the begin
shutting people out before they get a shot at getting in
there's this piece of me
that's scared of everything
and she's ruinin it for all of me
I'm scared to look but I wanna see
all that I'm running from
how bad can it be?
I'm a let it all catch up with me
baby keep runnin
one of these days I'll tell you everything
one of these days I'll give you all of me
May 4, 2015
May 4, 2015 at 4:43 PM UTC