I long to drink, to numb my pain, to ease my sins from the day.
The more I drink the better I feel and my thoughts begin to come ever so real.
Monster in the mirror sends loved ones to fear,
I scratch, I claw, destroying my all.
Attacking without cause, I paint with my claws,
a picture of pain while splitting my veins.
When Im sober I fear,
telling you “Im dead my dear”,
Just give me another bottle of everclear.
Sep 26, 2011
Sep 26, 2011 at 10:29 PM UTC
Everyday is a battle, and I choose to fight
but keep staring at me with those dead eyes,
its not like you would understand, with your perfect life
This isnt your everyday abuse,
every step a trap door to tighten my noose
I cant breath with your eyes piercing my heart
my brain fried, im paralyzed
You know what you do to me
yet you fail to cease
Im tearing myself apart at the seams
Every day, every reflection
just go the **** away
Mar 28, 2011
Mar 28, 2011 at 11:52 AM UTC
stuck in my ca ****
I have little room to grow
I want out
my predator's not giving me a chance-
ready to crush my underlying beauty
I want to start my journey
free of influence and guilt
understanding my freedom
I soon realize I could be the next optimist on that insect infested windshield
Cars are like soldiers, imitating life's obstacles
I fail to make progress
Months go by, still fighting both battles I ask:
Is my future still worth fighting for?
I did not choose this life
Dec 27, 2010
Dec 27, 2010 at 11:42 AM UTC
Today I let go
but dont worry boy
you wont lose all of me
you have a place in my heart forever
a bullet proof chamber
one which you cant break
A new life has begun
I feel so free
Many struggles
but I was worth every fight
because now im free from you
Time to move on
Decide.Commit.Succeed
Nov 26, 2010
Nov 26, 2010 at 2:57 PM UTC
My life shattered in pieces
I scramble to put it back together
before anyone sees my weakness
the master of disguises
I put on a smile and shove my feelings to the side
I dare not be vulnerable
I mask my imperfections with impersonations
I ask you-
put me back together
make me whole again
please
I need your help to show me
show me it’s ok to be me
tell me that im beautiful
worthy
Its not like me to beg, but I have nothing left
I am broken
be the glue that holds me together
Oct 12, 2010
Oct 12, 2010 at 8:40 PM UTC
Inhale
you enter my body
tingling oxygen
traveling through my veins
you give me warmth
keeping me alive
I hold you in
hoping there is something left
an endless supply
your departure boils my blood
your beat-less body
my heart pumps for two
you leave me cold
Oct 6, 2010
Oct 6, 2010 at 2:24 PM UTC
The seasons are in the midst of change
no one will exchange
something has taken over
just want a 4 leaf clover
A black wind has brushed my face
couldn't embrace
(roots) tug at my feet
You have me beat
I fight to stay alive
taking a downward dive
an infinite battle
its caused more than a rattle
This was not my choice
just hear my voice
a form of obtuse
I wont hang the noose
Oct 4, 2010
Oct 4, 2010 at 6:32 PM UTC
The time has come
time to alter my ways
a change for the better
time for a new phase
A chance to belive in myself
time to prove people wrong
to show my strength
It shouldnt take long
When its all said and done
Ill be a whole new girl
Loving life
My life will unfurl
Mar 24, 2010
Mar 24, 2010 at 6:35 PM UTC
Gonna run away and leave you behind
You have caused me so much pain
I want to be free from this ball n' chain,
that you have tied to my feet
Im a slave of yours,
one of many
manipulator-
You have wounded more than one
I should have seen it coming
Im a victim, and the one to blame.
Mar 21, 2010
Mar 21, 2010 at 7:16 PM UTC
I am lost within myself
I cannot find the path to my sanity
Which way to my brain?
Send vibes through my skin
Locate all that is around me
Try
Try to find the way to home
Home is where I can be me
Me, myself, and I
I need to find my way
Why can’t I get out?
Walls enclosing
Heart racing
Trip, fall, stumble
Don’t know who I am
Just like the rest
Square
Conforming
Why can’t I stand out?
Why can’t I find who I am?
I want to be the stain glass in this chapel of deep mahogany
I’m alone
Surrounded by immitations
All alike
I need to find my way
I need to break the corners of this square
I’m lost
I made a wrong turn
I get smaller
Walls get bigger
It’s a never ending journey
What now?
Which way to my sanity?
I need out
3 more corners
I can do it
I believe in myself
Left
2 more corners
Things are going grey
A haze
I need out.
2 corners away from discovering me.
Then another obstacle.
I’ll never get out.
I am lost
Mar 17, 2010
Mar 17, 2010 at 3:19 PM UTC