kastiel - Hello Poetry

truth i miss you. you were my breath. you kissed me, and it was like a thousand butterflies ignited in my chest and my lungs provided the oxygen that fed the flame. your lips were the wind beneath their wings the wind beneath mine i would be lying if i said that i don't miss flying. lie i hate you. i never loved you in the first place the same way that you never loved me. i want you to feel the same pain that i have i want you to know that you are the throbbing of my head because i got drunk off of your lips and i can't ******* escape the hangover you were a propellor and i was just a curious fish who came too close and you destroyed me i was happiness and you were depression truth you assaulted me. you ***** me you tore out my heart and you spat on it because you knew how much i hated the feeling of being worthless. your head was the hunger and i was your ******* cigarette you burned me and it made you feel good and as much as i hate to say it it made me feel good too. you were addicted to the ash in your throat i was addicted to the burning of my body destroyed until i was nothing but your plaything and i still ******* love you for it. lie i regret everything the i love you's the i'm sorry's the hello's i wish i never let you back into my heart after you pillaged everything we could have been i hated it i hated the way it made me feel when you waltzed right back in after you betrayed me i didn't feel any comfort i didn't feel anything but hatred truth we were a beautiful calamity a collision of red and blue and white blood, sky, and ice that i saw once you knocked me down and i couldn't help but stare at the heart-shaped clouds and think it was a message that we needed to stay together you were my destruction you were my self hatred you were my bullet and i was your ******* blood coursing excitedly through your heart as you watched me writhe and die when my heart gave out from loving you too much.

0

Oct 17, 2015

Oct 17, 2015 at 10:37 AM UTC

a collection of fact and falsity

truth i miss you. you were my breath. you kissed me, and it was like a thousand butterflies ignited in my chest and my lungs provided the oxygen that fed the flame. your lips were the wind beneath their wings the wind beneath mine i would be lying if i said that i don't miss flying. lie i hate you. i never loved you in the first place the same way that you never loved me. i want you to feel the same pain that i have i want you to know that you are the throbbing of my head because i got drunk off of your lips and i can't ******* escape the hangover you were a propellor and i was just a curious fish who came too close and you destroyed me i was happiness and you were depression truth you assaulted me. you ***** me you tore out my heart and you spat on it because you knew how much i hated the feeling of being worthless. your head was the hunger and i was your ******* cigarette you burned me and it made you feel good and as much as i hate to say it it made me feel good too. you were addicted to the ash in your throat i was addicted to the burning of my body destroyed until i was nothing but your plaything and i still ******* love you for it. lie i regret everything the i love you's the i'm sorry's the hello's i wish i never let you back into my heart after you pillaged everything we could have been i hated it i hated the way it made me feel when you waltzed right back in after you betrayed me i didn't feel any comfort i didn't feel anything but hatred truth we were a beautiful calamity a collision of red and blue and white blood, sky, and ice that i saw once you knocked me down and i couldn't help but stare at the heart-shaped clouds and think it was a message that we needed to stay together you were my destruction you were my self hatred you were my bullet and i was your ******* blood coursing excitedly through your heart as you watched me writhe and die when my heart gave out from loving you too much.

78

Depression is an eternal sunrise. Everything is entangled in black for a very long time, and then the horizon flickers and you can notice a beautiful rosy glow as the sun peaks its sliver of a crest over the mountaintops. But it is just out of reach. Sure, it's beautiful, but it's more dark than anything. Cold. Unfinished. Depression traps you forever in that one moment before the sun is risen and before night has fully ended. There is an end in sight but it is not close enough. No, it is never close enough.

0

Oct 16, 2015

Oct 16, 2015 at 6:19 PM UTC

Untitled

Depression is an eternal sunrise. Everything is entangled in black for a very long time, and then the horizon flickers and you can notice a beautiful rosy glow as the sun peaks its sliver of a crest over the mountaintops. But it is just out of reach. Sure, it's beautiful, but it's more dark than anything. Cold. Unfinished. Depression traps you forever in that one moment before the sun is risen and before night has fully ended. There is an end in sight but it is not close enough. No, it is never close enough.

18

Tick, tock, tick, tock Every hour chimes the clock Reminding us of slipping time And hours long forgotten. Tick, tock, tick, tock My every breath feels out of stock The air is cold and eery As I lay your corpse in cotton. Tick, tock, tick, tock, My heart is a cold black rock Whose face is gone, all washed away Now we both are rotten.

0

Oct 11, 2015

Oct 11, 2015 at 8:27 PM UTC

grandfather clock

Tick, tock, tick, tock Every hour chimes the clock Reminding us of slipping time And hours long forgotten. Tick, tock, tick, tock My every breath feels out of stock The air is cold and eery As I lay your corpse in cotton. Tick, tock, tick, tock, My heart is a cold black rock Whose face is gone, all washed away Now we both are rotten.

12

Wake up I need you Read, 12:45 am no you don't. you don't need me. you never have. had i ever been worth anything to you you would have fought to keep me you would have stopped her from punching me you would have stopped me when i attempted again you wouldn't have made some ******** excuse **** you. you don't need me you never have

0

Oct 11, 2015

Oct 11, 2015 at 8:14 PM UTC

worthless

Wake up I need you Read, 12:45 am no you don't. you don't need me. you never have. had i ever been worth anything to you you would have fought to keep me you would have stopped her from punching me you would have stopped me when i attempted again you wouldn't have made some ******** excuse **** you. you don't need me you never have

14

I am the universe. I am abstract. I am a collection of nothings and everythings. My very being is a quantam equation, Drowned in emotion while being completely numb Longing for a good life and also for the sweet serenity that is death. I am not a solid structure but rather a blur of colour and motion Whose beauty is undermined by many and cast out by most. But still I stay true to my own colours, even if I don't particularly fancy the painting. My colours are vast and individually very beautiful. I am working on seeing them as they are-- blended and confusing and unclear-- and seeing that as beautiful. I am abstract. I am the universe. I am the universe. I am woven with the threads of existence and infinity. I am at my beginning, small and undeveloped with the capability for so much. One day I will erupt in a brilliant display of power, displaying myself boldly and spectacularly But for now I hold it within, my potential growing and growing until something within me happens just right and I can truly blossom. I will use my power to build myself up until I don't have to try anymore. They say I will get so big that I will destroy myself, crushing myself back down to nothing To less than nothing. But I think that's happened before, because I am nothing at the moment And nothingness has never been so valuable. I am woven with the threads of existence and infinity. I am the universe. I am the universe. I am beautifully unaware of myself while creating something even more fantastic Than my destiny tells me I can be Because I am nebulae and galaxies and starts and planets and vast expanses of so-called "emptiness" That is really filled with gorgeous, deep, silken black. I am the stars aligned, the pure work of billions of subatomic particles buzzing about frantically with their errands, not even knowing what those errands are-- Just knowing that what they are doing is what they must do. I am the miracle of life and the beauty of death and the thrill of everything in between. I am the mystery of what comes before birth and the fear of what comes after dying. I am the cosmos looking at its own reflection Observing itself Knowing itself Being itself I am massive, yet so, so small but I question my worth every time I dare to glance at the fibers That hold together the fabric of my being. I am eternity; I am the clock which sits unnoticed until I am needed, or when boredom strikes and I become a last resort To lessen the loneliness. But the truth is, I am loneliness. I am a broken heart, my blood seeping into all that is. I am the tears welling in the eyes of the kid down the street Who has no choice but to take a blade to his skin just to breathe again. I am his breath. I am the ground beneath him and the sky above him. I am the face he sees in the mirror; I am the hatred he sees when he looks at it. I am the love in his soul The blood in his veins The scent of his skin The beating of his heart I am his heart. I am the universe.

0

Jun 13, 2015

Jun 13, 2015 at 10:32 AM UTC

I Am The Universe

I am the universe. I am abstract. I am a collection of nothings and everythings. My very being is a quantam equation, Drowned in emotion while being completely numb Longing for a good life and also for the sweet serenity that is death. I am not a solid structure but rather a blur of colour and motion Whose beauty is undermined by many and cast out by most. But still I stay true to my own colours, even if I don't particularly fancy the painting. My colours are vast and individually very beautiful. I am working on seeing them as they are-- blended and confusing and unclear-- and seeing that as beautiful. I am abstract. I am the universe. I am the universe. I am woven with the threads of existence and infinity. I am at my beginning, small and undeveloped with the capability for so much. One day I will erupt in a brilliant display of power, displaying myself boldly and spectacularly But for now I hold it within, my potential growing and growing until something within me happens just right and I can truly blossom. I will use my power to build myself up until I don't have to try anymore. They say I will get so big that I will destroy myself, crushing myself back down to nothing To less than nothing. But I think that's happened before, because I am nothing at the moment And nothingness has never been so valuable. I am woven with the threads of existence and infinity. I am the universe. I am the universe. I am beautifully unaware of myself while creating something even more fantastic Than my destiny tells me I can be Because I am nebulae and galaxies and starts and planets and vast expanses of so-called "emptiness" That is really filled with gorgeous, deep, silken black. I am the stars aligned, the pure work of billions of subatomic particles buzzing about frantically with their errands, not even knowing what those errands are-- Just knowing that what they are doing is what they must do. I am the miracle of life and the beauty of death and the thrill of everything in between. I am the mystery of what comes before birth and the fear of what comes after dying. I am the cosmos looking at its own reflection Observing itself Knowing itself Being itself I am massive, yet so, so small but I question my worth every time I dare to glance at the fibers That hold together the fabric of my being. I am eternity; I am the clock which sits unnoticed until I am needed, or when boredom strikes and I become a last resort To lessen the loneliness. But the truth is, I am loneliness. I am a broken heart, my blood seeping into all that is. I am the tears welling in the eyes of the kid down the street Who has no choice but to take a blade to his skin just to breathe again. I am his breath. I am the ground beneath him and the sky above him. I am the face he sees in the mirror; I am the hatred he sees when he looks at it. I am the love in his soul The blood in his veins The scent of his skin The beating of his heart I am his heart. I am the universe.

99

I recall such a freezing winter morn The sun erasing the stars in the skies With frozen flower buds all weak and worn Their snowy cloaks a glassy paradise Back then the clouds felled shining bright white flakes That shattered on the ground in sparkling gleam And buried in the banks were garden snakes Encapsulated in their icy streams When standing right beside me, there was you Warm breath creating soft clouds in the air Now tears drip from work done and left to do Your blood has dyed deep red the snow once fair For back then there was life and hope and zen And deaths like yours reclaim those things again

0

Jan 25, 2015

Jan 25, 2015 at 7:31 PM UTC

From the Heart to the Hearse

I recall such a freezing winter morn The sun erasing the stars in the skies With frozen flower buds all weak and worn Their snowy cloaks a glassy paradise Back then the clouds felled shining bright white flakes That shattered on the ground in sparkling gleam And buried in the banks were garden snakes Encapsulated in their icy streams When standing right beside me, there was you Warm breath creating soft clouds in the air Now tears drip from work done and left to do Your blood has dyed deep red the snow once fair For back then there was life and hope and zen And deaths like yours reclaim those things again

14

I know why I flinch at your touch I know why I shiver every single time you say my name I know why even the mention of seeing you makes my heart swell. I am cold I am dark I am hostile I am alone You are warm You are bright You are open You are home.

0

Oct 12, 2014

Oct 12, 2014 at 3:28 PM UTC

Where the Heart Is

I know why I flinch at your touch I know why I shiver every single time you say my name I know why even the mention of seeing you makes my heart swell. I am cold I am dark I am hostile I am alone You are warm You are bright You are open You are home.

20

Why can't I cry? I need the pain I need to feel I need the release Why can't I cry?

0

Sep 19, 2014

Sep 19, 2014 at 11:57 PM UTC

Untitled

Why can't I cry? I need the pain I need to feel I need the release Why can't I cry?

5

Creativity is not measured by how many love songs there are on the radio Writing one more does not make love songs unoriginal Nor does it make it bad to like love songs All it does is put a new love song into the world Creativity is not making something that has never been made before Creativity is making something. And if you hate love songs then go ahead tell me they're not original tell me they're too mainstream tell me there's no other subject these days tell me how that annoys you. But don't tell me that making something isn't worth celebrating Don't tell me creativity is only what you think it is

0

Sep 19, 2014

Sep 19, 2014 at 11:40 PM UTC

Creativity

Creativity is not measured by how many love songs there are on the radio Writing one more does not make love songs unoriginal Nor does it make it bad to like love songs All it does is put a new love song into the world Creativity is not making something that has never been made before Creativity is making something. And if you hate love songs then go ahead tell me they're not original tell me they're too mainstream tell me there's no other subject these days tell me how that annoys you. But don't tell me that making something isn't worth celebrating Don't tell me creativity is only what you think it is

29

If your pain is so real then what is mine? Your demons are tangible Your demons are the ones that push the weaker kids into lockers Your demons are the ones that open your heart only to raid it and leave it bleeding My demons - my demons do not exist in the face of yours Mine are silent (Except in my head) My demons scream at me They tell me about being too fat (or too skinny) or too stupid (or too pretentious) or being too much of a disappointment Your demons prove that you are worth fighting over Mine prove that there is nothing to fight for If your pain is so real then what is mine? If your cuts are too shallow then what are mine? At least yours will fade in time Mine are digusting lingering They remind me constantly of how I have failed of how I will inevitably continue failing My skin doesn't sting (If I squeeze my eyelids hard enough) You need yours to hurt more To remind yourself what pain feels like instead of numbness I'm so much less romantic. I need to remind myself what punishment feels like I deserve to be punished You do not deserve to be punished You do not deserve your scars to be permanent but I do If your cuts are too shallow then what are mine? If you are human then what am I? Because if your mistakes are what count then I have made enough to spare And if it's your torment that decides it send me a membership letter At least tell me I'm something Because what I have seen is not part of a competition What I think should not be compared with what you do My impact should not be compared with yours Making a struggle into a prize That makes me inhuman So if it's pain that makes you real then at least act like I have a ******* heart And don't tell me that I don't know what it's like. If you are human then what am I?

0

Sep 19, 2014

Sep 19, 2014 at 11:01 PM UTC

If I Am True

If your pain is so real then what is mine? Your demons are tangible Your demons are the ones that push the weaker kids into lockers Your demons are the ones that open your heart only to raid it and leave it bleeding My demons - my demons do not exist in the face of yours Mine are silent (Except in my head) My demons scream at me They tell me about being too fat (or too skinny) or too stupid (or too pretentious) or being too much of a disappointment Your demons prove that you are worth fighting over Mine prove that there is nothing to fight for If your pain is so real then what is mine? If your cuts are too shallow then what are mine? At least yours will fade in time Mine are digusting lingering They remind me constantly of how I have failed of how I will inevitably continue failing My skin doesn't sting (If I squeeze my eyelids hard enough) You need yours to hurt more To remind yourself what pain feels like instead of numbness I'm so much less romantic. I need to remind myself what punishment feels like I deserve to be punished You do not deserve to be punished You do not deserve your scars to be permanent but I do If your cuts are too shallow then what are mine? If you are human then what am I? Because if your mistakes are what count then I have made enough to spare And if it's your torment that decides it send me a membership letter At least tell me I'm something Because what I have seen is not part of a competition What I think should not be compared with what you do My impact should not be compared with yours Making a struggle into a prize That makes me inhuman So if it's pain that makes you real then at least act like I have a ******* heart And don't tell me that I don't know what it's like. If you are human then what am I?

60