karina-veirs
I'm a nurse who has always loved to write. Some poems may never see the light of day due to them being too personal. I hope you do enjoy what I do share. / / Now then. I have finally decided I will try my hand at publishing. So if it seems I am bogging down my page with multiple poems a day I apologize. Please let me know what poems you like and what ones you don't. I need the feedback and constructive criticism. / / Thank you to all the poets that are here. Thank you for sharing your soul as I share mine. / / These are the soul works of Karina Veirs
Sitting in front of the vanity
Going thru the motions of getting ready
Glancing at the floor
*seeing myself lying there
fetal position, wailing*
Sitting watching TV
With the love of my life
Glancing at the walls
*seeing myself throwing the remote
breaking whatever I can, yelling*
I'm at work
Talking to my colleagues
*looking at their faces
punching everyone*
Going into my room
Looking at my youngest
He's sleeping peacefully
***Seeing myself holding him
Trying to keep his hallucinations
His depression
His suicidal thoughts
All at bay***…
This I do
I hold him
Only as a mother can
Praying to God
To heal his mind
Knowing this, this is why
*Why I see myself
Lying on the bathroom floor
Breaking whatever I can
Physically assaulting my coworkers*
All I can do is pray
All I can do is hope
Pray and hope for my child
For him to be better
For him to thrive
Dec 22, 2018
Dec 22, 2018 at 10:27 PM UTC
I have cried a thousand tears.
I am now dry
You said you wanted me to hurt
You have done your aim
For my love for you will not cease
But yours for me now, in the breeze
I am now but a husk
A shell of what I was
For I have let you destroy me
You broke down my walls
So long ago
I felt secure with you guarding them
Then you turned
And I am now empty
Your love for me
Now forever in the breeze
Nov 25, 2018
Nov 25, 2018 at 11:13 PM UTC
And her tears fall down like a waterfall from green eyes
Chest aching in pain unsurpassed
As she sits on her couch
No pictures on the wall
Cold metal art instead
She realizes
She is truly alone
No one there to comfort in her time of need
She let so many things take away from her
No friends
No family
She is truly alone
crying waterfalls
Nov 3, 2018
Nov 3, 2018 at 2:27 AM UTC
Here we go again
I knew it was to good to be true
I was feeling happy
Smiling more
Laughing, loving
Then out of nowhere
WHACK!
No reason
No real trigger
The old words flow in..
*"you're not good enough"
"he must have someone else"
"you'll never work again"
"might as well just die"
"can't even take care of your kids"
"your whole life is a lie"*
My heart races
My tears threaten to fall
I don't know why
It's just there
I can't turn it off
GOD! Please save me!!!
Oct 18, 2018
Oct 18, 2018 at 8:45 PM UTC
It would have been so easy to keep going straight
Not take the turn left
Straight….a mere 13 miles and I'd be at your door
Straight….you'd have to face me
Straight…..tell me where I went wrong
13 miles, so close, eternity away
*drawing a deep breath thru the tears
I turn left*
This road….11 miles and I'll be at my door
This road….face to face with myself
This road…..to question what I did wrong
This road…..internal interrogation to play with my demons
11 miles, so close, too fast
***Straight….I did not go
Straight***….
Oct 9, 2018
Oct 9, 2018 at 6:46 PM UTC
I'm sitting on my back porch
Smoking a cigarette
Looking at the stars
Hazed out by smoke
Oklahoma is burning
Flames are all around
Smells like a campfire
Even in town
Livestock are dead
Running for the barren river
Wildlife gone
Majestic mountain lions
Climbing in the burnt trees
Only to die of smoke inhalation
Oklahoma is burning
River beds running dry
Dear Lord above
Give us rain
Help us see an end to this nightmare
Of Oklahoma burning
Apr 16, 2018
Apr 16, 2018 at 10:30 PM UTC
If you tell me to go, I'll go
I won't look back
As I close the door
And with heaving sighs and shaky breaths
I'll still love you
Until my death
If you tell me to stay, I will
Together we'll face those mountains
We'll make them hills
And until my dying day
Loyal to you
I will stay
Jan 24, 2018
Jan 24, 2018 at 1:00 PM UTC
I don't think you understand. The way my chest tightens. There's a vice holding back the tears and it makes it so hard to breathe. this incredible pain and emptiness vying for the space. How my mind screams at me. The part of me that isn't like this is trapped in there. Banging on her cell walls begging to be let out again. the Monster has taken over. It's ******* the life right out of me. I don't think straight. I can't see clearly. All lines are blurred. Every look is suspicious. every text some other woman. This Monster is controlling my mind. Having me read between lines that aren't there. And the pain... Oh God the pain!! I don't want to die, but I just want the pain to STOP! I need help putting this monster back in its cage.....
Jan 13, 2018
Jan 13, 2018 at 1:53 AM UTC
Her tears roll down her face
As grains of sand off an eroding beach
Falling into the abyss
Of her pillow, the ocean
The counter ticking away
attempting to keep up
Unable to do so
"Enough!" he yells
Unable to take her sadness anymore
He reaches into her heart
Trying to cut away the black
But he is unable
Every piece he removes
Another takes its place
And her tears continue
to fall down her face
Jan 10, 2018
Jan 10, 2018 at 1:02 PM UTC