An urban legend
to fall in love
at first sight.
Introduced to my
soulmate,
at only 16.
The curse of addiction-
no match for
the energy we create.
To stand by one another
through all the things
that hurt.
In you,
I see everything,
my life truly began.
Not a doubt,
I knew
You’d be holding my hand.
And I love you,
in a way only
you
and I,
will ever understand.
Oct 7, 2014
Oct 7, 2014 at 11:32 AM UTC
I found something of yours
the other day.
And it took me back
to another place.
To a time when
you,
my friend,
were not dead.
And I was long into addiction,
where things made sense
and I didn't have to tell you,
where I'd been.
And I didn't know you,
I didn't have to.
Neither of us
asked questions.
Simplicity as a friend.
But you see,
this is before you were dead.
Best friend,
Best friend..
Oct 1, 2014
Oct 1, 2014 at 11:34 AM UTC
My eyes are dry,
like when you sit in front of a TV
surrounded by darkness
for hours after hours.
Except I am out in the world,
only with nothing around to catch my eye.
I am not beautiful,
without the radiance that you supply.
when you aren't with me,
I lack a certain feeling of safety,
and can’t tolerate the things that
usually don’t bother me.
Because I know when I come home
after a long day full of chilly hallways
and disappointment from people who will never understand me
you are not in my bed,
waiting patiently
to hold me.
Mar 27, 2014
Mar 27, 2014 at 3:54 PM UTC
I feel the time that I
stole from myself
creeping up behind me,
pushing me towards a
future
that I cannot be sure of.
Mar 27, 2014
Mar 27, 2014 at 3:35 PM UTC
Everything I said is gone,
It’s the smoke shot into choking lungs.
Sometimes I wonder why I’m so cold,
When the sun shines on both sides of my skin-
Feeding my third eye.
My veins are caves,
growing crystals from wall to wall.
The frame of my face is sinking in,
‘N my cheeks are turning grey.
I’ll close my eyes with the straw to my nose,
and go in for the kiss.
Wait for the rush, an arrow that surely won’t miss.
My pupils will twitch and tweak and twitch.
Addiction, a troll living under a bridge.
Slow suicide, it payed off.
An addiction to death.
Pleasurably, I continue to torture this body that just doesn’t fit.
I’m dead, and I guess I didn’t know it.
Snapshots in my skull turn on ideas,
Surely fatal if I let them grow.
I question if I’m breathing,
And then I just makes me feel more alive.
Even while I howl at the moon,
I ponder if I’m insane.
A bulb to my lips,
Oh foxy, let me lose my grip.
All I’ve got to do is wait to get away.
‘N I ain’t sane ‘cause Mercury's in my brain.
Mar 24, 2014
Mar 24, 2014 at 4:18 PM UTC
And even after I have removed myself from the hell of addiction,
I will forever be stuck in my head,
unable to bring these words to fall properly from my tongue.
My heart can only be freed through pen and ink
Mar 24, 2014
Mar 24, 2014 at 4:06 PM UTC
My eighteenth birthday is approaching faster than I expected.
And I'm dreading that day,
when legally nobody needs to care about me.
Things aren't ready,
not my mind,
or my money,
for me to build a future.
And I'm under so much pressure,
because someday when everybody has left me
I will be alone,
stuck thinking about what I did wrong on my
Eighteenth birthday.
Mar 24, 2014
Mar 24, 2014 at 11:49 AM UTC
To be honest,
I don't remember what the sky looked like that day,
or what smells filled my nose as I walked down the street.
I didn't notice the wind tracing itself up my arms
and through my hair
the impact of my heavy feet on the ground didn't feel real.
Nothing came my way,
Nothing tragic
nor joyful.
I just walked,
consumed by nothingness.
My gut was not yelling at me,
my instincts finally quiet.
My fear wiped clean.
I was invincible,
traveling through the world unaffected by anything.
I was at peace in this moment when my life meant nothing.
Feb 4, 2014
Feb 4, 2014 at 4:09 PM UTC
I hate the way it changed everything.
The size of my waist, even the shape of my face.
I hate the way it destroyed my morals,
burned them to nothing right in front of my face,
and how it gives me every trait that I absolutely hate.
I hate how it gives me vision that accents every flaw on my skin,
I hate the way I grind my teeth,
and how I can never fall asleep.
I hate how I can’t sit still,
and how I’m intrigued by all of the meaningless things.
I hate how empty it has made me,
and how it has introduced me to much darker things.
Convincing me that crystal and tar is all I’ll ever need.
I hate how it makes me feel too powerful,
too confident,
too invincible.
I hate how it makes me speak my mind,
even if it gets me in trouble.
Addiction has taught me a lot.
It has allowed me to look through the eyes of someone I never thought I’d be.
By becoming a shell of a human being,
I have been given the ability to be reborn.
Gaining a new found passion in the world around me.
Jan 28, 2014
Jan 28, 2014 at 4:16 PM UTC
And I just sat,
gazing into the sky.
Feeling your energy,
now bonded with mine.
The trees began to resort to their blankets of dew,
closing their eyes for the night.
But not I.
For this moment,
we shared the same mind.
My eyes stuck to you like glue,
The moon above,
so full and bright,
it guided our hearts,
allowing us to reach an (unfamiliar) light.
A break of silence reaches the air
and you lean over and touch your lips to mine,
for the very first time.
In this moment,
my reality became brand new.
I didn’t know it,
but I was searching for you.
Jan 28, 2014
Jan 28, 2014 at 4:14 PM UTC