kaity-hellen - Hello Poetry

Daddy, I know when I was born it was stressful; you already had two boys that needed your attention. But I needed you too and I know you gave me as much time as you could. You were busy I get it; that’s why you were never home. I’m not sure where you were or what you were doing especially late at night; but as long as it was more important than your children then it was okay right? Don’t worry you weren’t the only one to blame, Mommy wasn’t around much either. She was always working to make up for what you couldn’t supply us with. During the day at Home Depot and at night McDonalds, I know it wasn’t her dream job but you both started a family before either of you were ready. Mommy was the backbone of the family; she picked up the slack for all the things you seemed to lack. Because of both of your absences, this forced us to stay with our aunts the majority of the time; not that I ever minded, I love them so much and we always had a great time. But Daddy what you don’t realize to this day is what a girl without a father can turn into. Once you and Mommy split and the divorce was final I hoped day and night you would want a custody battle. Not because I thought you would be a better fit for us to live with but because it would have shown your kids you care, especially your little princess. Instead Mom got us during the week and you on the weekends but that soon ended when you met your new mistress. I was seven years old, and impressionable child and you walked right out of my life. Some parents pass away causing a child to become orphaned; but not you, you were in perfect health and perfect stature and you made the decision to leave. Do you even know how much I was hurting? Daddy you changed me and I don’t know if it was for the better. My father figure was PJ, my older brother, my entire world; if it wasn’t for him I don’t know who of where I would be today. But he eventually left me to however not for the same reasons as you. He went into the Air Force and did some good for his country; but that hurt to because after he left I felt truly alone, I had no one to tell all my secrets too. Nobody that I knew I could trust with my life. Daddy you’re the reason for all of my insecurities. You’re the reason I don’t see beauty or worth in myself; I look into the mirror and see a stranger staring back. I look into my eyes and I see you and that scares me so much. I don’t want to be you; but it’s inevitable. I don’t know the person I’ve become. I am afraid of myself and how is someone suppose to live like that? You’re the reason I can’t get close to anyone without the fear that one day without the least bit of warning they will just get up and walk away, I mean that’s how it works right? You are the reason I’m so quiet around people. You are the reason I’m fake. You’re the reason I have regrets in my life. I’ve done some things I’m not proud of and I lie to the ones I’m suppose to love. I want to believe that you leaving was a good thing, like Mommy always said you were a dead beat father anyway. But I can’t say that. You were absent for 8 straight years of my life. Not a single phone call or a simple text asking how my day was or even an I love you. And worst of all I didn’t even know where I could find you. When you finally came back into my life it was 8 years to late and all the money and gifts couldn’t buy back my love. Daddy, I use to say I love you every night and pray that one day you would see that light that Daddy I could be a good girl. I use to ask myself what I did wrong; why wasn’t I good enough? To this day I ask myself how can I be good enough for anyone or loved by anyone if my own father couldn’t even stand me? I know you tried hard to make up for the lost years but you are a stranger to me now. I don’t know who you are anymore and I don’t know what to believe. And Daddy you know what hurt the most, making Father’s Day presents in school. I never said anything but I always wondered who to give them to because I didn’t have a Daddy. But can I tell you a secret? Mommy’s not all that I thought she was either. Nights I thought she was working late and mornings when I thought she left early were all a lie. I found out now that she never came home the night before. She was out with other men as much as you were with other women. And Daddy after the divorce, Mommy would send us to our aunts again so that she could try to find a man to take your place. You both aren’t really all that different and i know you don’t want to admit it but you both care more about a ****** partner than your own ****** children.

0

Feb 20, 2017

Feb 20, 2017 at 11:57 PM UTC

The RENT Project

Daddy, I know when I was born it was stressful; you already had two boys that needed your attention. But I needed you too and I know you gave me as much time as you could. You were busy I get it; that’s why you were never home. I’m not sure where you were or what you were doing especially late at night; but as long as it was more important than your children then it was okay right? Don’t worry you weren’t the only one to blame, Mommy wasn’t around much either. She was always working to make up for what you couldn’t supply us with. During the day at Home Depot and at night McDonalds, I know it wasn’t her dream job but you both started a family before either of you were ready. Mommy was the backbone of the family; she picked up the slack for all the things you seemed to lack. Because of both of your absences, this forced us to stay with our aunts the majority of the time; not that I ever minded, I love them so much and we always had a great time. But Daddy what you don’t realize to this day is what a girl without a father can turn into. Once you and Mommy split and the divorce was final I hoped day and night you would want a custody battle. Not because I thought you would be a better fit for us to live with but because it would have shown your kids you care, especially your little princess. Instead Mom got us during the week and you on the weekends but that soon ended when you met your new mistress. I was seven years old, and impressionable child and you walked right out of my life. Some parents pass away causing a child to become orphaned; but not you, you were in perfect health and perfect stature and you made the decision to leave. Do you even know how much I was hurting? Daddy you changed me and I don’t know if it was for the better. My father figure was PJ, my older brother, my entire world; if it wasn’t for him I don’t know who of where I would be today. But he eventually left me to however not for the same reasons as you. He went into the Air Force and did some good for his country; but that hurt to because after he left I felt truly alone, I had no one to tell all my secrets too. Nobody that I knew I could trust with my life. Daddy you’re the reason for all of my insecurities. You’re the reason I don’t see beauty or worth in myself; I look into the mirror and see a stranger staring back. I look into my eyes and I see you and that scares me so much. I don’t want to be you; but it’s inevitable. I don’t know the person I’ve become. I am afraid of myself and how is someone suppose to live like that? You’re the reason I can’t get close to anyone without the fear that one day without the least bit of warning they will just get up and walk away, I mean that’s how it works right? You are the reason I’m so quiet around people. You are the reason I’m fake. You’re the reason I have regrets in my life. I’ve done some things I’m not proud of and I lie to the ones I’m suppose to love. I want to believe that you leaving was a good thing, like Mommy always said you were a dead beat father anyway. But I can’t say that. You were absent for 8 straight years of my life. Not a single phone call or a simple text asking how my day was or even an I love you. And worst of all I didn’t even know where I could find you. When you finally came back into my life it was 8 years to late and all the money and gifts couldn’t buy back my love. Daddy, I use to say I love you every night and pray that one day you would see that light that Daddy I could be a good girl. I use to ask myself what I did wrong; why wasn’t I good enough? To this day I ask myself how can I be good enough for anyone or loved by anyone if my own father couldn’t even stand me? I know you tried hard to make up for the lost years but you are a stranger to me now. I don’t know who you are anymore and I don’t know what to believe. And Daddy you know what hurt the most, making Father’s Day presents in school. I never said anything but I always wondered who to give them to because I didn’t have a Daddy. But can I tell you a secret? Mommy’s not all that I thought she was either. Nights I thought she was working late and mornings when I thought she left early were all a lie. I found out now that she never came home the night before. She was out with other men as much as you were with other women. And Daddy after the divorce, Mommy would send us to our aunts again so that she could try to find a man to take your place. You both aren’t really all that different and i know you don’t want to admit it but you both care more about a ****** partner than your own ****** children.

2

Falling to pieces in my bed Thoughts of you dance through my head All my friends say you’re no good But I don’t care what they say You’re on my mind all through the day Although this poem is short and sweet It tells you how I’d be complete If only you would think of me to Because I wrote this just for you

0

May 5, 2014

May 5, 2014 at 9:05 PM UTC

A Poem for You

Falling to pieces in my bed Thoughts of you dance through my head All my friends say you’re no good But I don’t care what they say You’re on my mind all through the day Although this poem is short and sweet It tells you how I’d be complete If only you would think of me to Because I wrote this just for you

9

Kindergarden- I shared my crayons with the girl next to me She broke it and didn’t say sorry Mommy says she didn’t know better Why is she mean to me? First Grade- I made a new friend today and mom was proud of me But then she went to play with someone else She didn’t talk to me me for 10 minutes Why is she mean to me? Second Grade- Third Grade- We are learning script and I put the letter “Q” on the board I messed it up a little Someone laughed at me and then the whole class did Why are they mean to me? Fourth Grade- Fifth Grade- Sixth Grade- I just started a new school I have no friends Everyone keeps staring at me and whispering Why are they mean to me? Seventh Grade- I met this boy I think I like him My friends say he likes me But he wont talk to me at all he doesn’t even see me Why is he mean to me? Eighth Grade- Ninth Grade- Another new school more new people I feel so small The seniors push me around Why are they mean to me? Tenth Grade- I do all my work I just want to get a good grade But people tease me about it Why are they mean to me? Eleventh Grade- I gave up on my work I shut every one out I am outcasted by the majority Why are they mean to me? Twelfth Grade- Look at the underclassmen I push them around Look at the classmates that use to laugh at me I’m laughing at them now Why am I mean to them?

0

May 5, 2014

May 5, 2014 at 7:18 PM UTC

Story of my life

Kindergarden- I shared my crayons with the girl next to me She broke it and didn’t say sorry Mommy says she didn’t know better Why is she mean to me? First Grade- I made a new friend today and mom was proud of me But then she went to play with someone else She didn’t talk to me me for 10 minutes Why is she mean to me? Second Grade- Third Grade- We are learning script and I put the letter “Q” on the board I messed it up a little Someone laughed at me and then the whole class did Why are they mean to me? Fourth Grade- Fifth Grade- Sixth Grade- I just started a new school I have no friends Everyone keeps staring at me and whispering Why are they mean to me? Seventh Grade- I met this boy I think I like him My friends say he likes me But he wont talk to me at all he doesn’t even see me Why is he mean to me? Eighth Grade- Ninth Grade- Another new school more new people I feel so small The seniors push me around Why are they mean to me? Tenth Grade- I do all my work I just want to get a good grade But people tease me about it Why are they mean to me? Eleventh Grade- I gave up on my work I shut every one out I am outcasted by the majority Why are they mean to me? Twelfth Grade- Look at the underclassmen I push them around Look at the classmates that use to laugh at me I’m laughing at them now Why am I mean to them?

49

Love at first sight Is it true, is it right? Is it a game in your head? Does it make you drop dead? Do you believe it can be true? A love made only for you two Or is it fake made up to please? Like the plague a fatal disease? Are you determined to succeed? To just let the soul feed? Will you let it take over? Take the luck from a clover? Is it love a first sight? Or a big ball of fright?

0

May 5, 2014

May 5, 2014 at 6:55 PM UTC

Love at first sight?

Love at first sight Is it true, is it right? Is it a game in your head? Does it make you drop dead? Do you believe it can be true? A love made only for you two Or is it fake made up to please? Like the plague a fatal disease? Are you determined to succeed? To just let the soul feed? Will you let it take over? Take the luck from a clover? Is it love a first sight? Or a big ball of fright?

14

Can't take another step with out you in my arms Can't fake a smile with out it causing me harm Don't want to breathe if your not here with me Why can’t you see I want to be happy for once in my life Don’t want to be lonely anymore tonight. I need you to see my life will never be complete Until you understand you’re everything to me. People tare us down and tell us we will never be But I have hope in my heart that I hope you can see Don’t care if your not perfect because neither am I Don’t care about your past This is present time Hell people can try to keep us apart But I can tell deep down in my heart We can pull through even in a fight I know it’s a stretch way out of sight But it’s in my head day and night I know inside we will be alright Even if the past says no In present day my heart says go

0

May 5, 2014

May 5, 2014 at 5:20 PM UTC

When the world says no

Can't take another step with out you in my arms Can't fake a smile with out it causing me harm Don't want to breathe if your not here with me Why can’t you see I want to be happy for once in my life Don’t want to be lonely anymore tonight. I need you to see my life will never be complete Until you understand you’re everything to me. People tare us down and tell us we will never be But I have hope in my heart that I hope you can see Don’t care if your not perfect because neither am I Don’t care about your past This is present time Hell people can try to keep us apart But I can tell deep down in my heart We can pull through even in a fight I know it’s a stretch way out of sight But it’s in my head day and night I know inside we will be alright Even if the past says no In present day my heart says go

22

Girl of stone She stood tall under the blue sky A strong stone Year after year Inner rocks crumbled slowly with every struggle thrown at her People climbed to the top just to leave Walked in and out of her life But still under the sun she stood tall The inside cracked without anyone knowing A slow but damaging process But still day after day People visited the stone girl Admired her happiness But what they didn't know was the pain within The struggle she faced to hold herself together When all at once The girl fell Inside out Piece by piece While flowers bloomed and people gleamed with happiness the girl was a mound of unknown pieces to damaged to fix

0

Dec 8, 2013

Dec 8, 2013 at 10:30 PM UTC

Girl of stone

Girl of stone She stood tall under the blue sky A strong stone Year after year Inner rocks crumbled slowly with every struggle thrown at her People climbed to the top just to leave Walked in and out of her life But still under the sun she stood tall The inside cracked without anyone knowing A slow but damaging process But still day after day People visited the stone girl Admired her happiness But what they didn't know was the pain within The struggle she faced to hold herself together When all at once The girl fell Inside out Piece by piece While flowers bloomed and people gleamed with happiness the girl was a mound of unknown pieces to damaged to fix

21

First 10 word poem Sometimes I Wonder What We Could Be If You Stayed!

0

Jul 29, 2013

Jul 29, 2013 at 4:07 PM UTC

Just a Thought (10W)

First 10 word poem Sometimes I Wonder What We Could Be If You Stayed!

11

On the outside she seems tough She never sheds a tear She wears a smile proudly Never lets anyone see The pain that courses through her Every single day The little girl inside her Frail and fragile Crying to get out But everyday she’s stuck inside Unable to get free Every night the girl comes out She cries herself to sleep When morning comes The smile’s back and no one suspects a thing She’s weaker than you think.

0

Jul 29, 2013

Jul 29, 2013 at 3:42 PM UTC

Weaker Than You Think

On the outside she seems tough She never sheds a tear She wears a smile proudly Never lets anyone see The pain that courses through her Every single day The little girl inside her Frail and fragile Crying to get out But everyday she’s stuck inside Unable to get free Every night the girl comes out She cries herself to sleep When morning comes The smile’s back and no one suspects a thing She’s weaker than you think.

16

never really had a diary Dear Diary, Thank you for the secrets you keep For listening to me when I weep When nobody is able to understand I look to you for a helping hand And when Im feeling low And I have no place to go You catch me when I fall You've been with me through it all

0

Jul 2, 2013

Jul 2, 2013 at 1:47 AM UTC

A letter to my Diary

never really had a diary Dear Diary, Thank you for the secrets you keep For listening to me when I weep When nobody is able to understand I look to you for a helping hand And when Im feeling low And I have no place to go You catch me when I fall You've been with me through it all

10

The lunch table blaring with laughter My eyes filling with tears The lump in my throat deepens A growing pound begins in my ears Not one person sees how I'm feeling Not a soul knows what I go through The only thing I know for sure Is the sadness I feel when I look at you

0

Jun 15, 2013

Jun 15, 2013 at 11:32 PM UTC

Internal sadness

The lunch table blaring with laughter My eyes filling with tears The lump in my throat deepens A growing pound begins in my ears Not one person sees how I'm feeling Not a soul knows what I go through The only thing I know for sure Is the sadness I feel when I look at you

8