Staring in a mirror. Again
It makes me feel worse just to see
I braided my hair so neatly
Now it's falling apart at the seams
There's a comparison there
Let's not look into it
If I stick pins in
Tie up all the loose ends again
It'll look neater, sure
As long as you don't look too close
Cause there's a glittering metal barricade
Of a halfhearted hairstyle I tried to save
Jun 15, 2021
Jun 15, 2021 at 11:08 AM UTC
You told me you'd never
flirted with a guy
I laughed
I told you my tricks
You smiled and I froze
because I suppose
I figured you'd realise
I've used them all on you
Mar 11, 2021
Mar 11, 2021 at 2:24 AM UTC
I hit my peak so long ago
I was six, on top of the world
On top of the jungle gym,
Not that it was different.
But since then,
rolling downhill
Jan 19, 2021
Jan 19, 2021 at 9:27 PM UTC
Sometimes
when I look in the mirror
i'm startled to see
me
When
I scrub off the pen lines
odd bits of makeup
all that's left is me
I stand there
bare and trembling
these are the pieces of me
and maybe I'm starving
but at least
I can feel myself smiling
because
these are the marks of my survival
Dec 30, 2020
Dec 30, 2020 at 1:19 PM UTC
Sometimes,
when the face in the mirror isn't who I want it to be
and those thoughts,
those ******* disgusting worms crawling out of my brain,
to simply drive me insane
I think it's subconscious,
I never quite think it,
before the thought is reaching my hand
A little mascara
brush through my hair
(I want to feel pretty
again)
A dusting of powder
touch up my chapstick
(this face
THIS FACE ISN'T RIGHT
THIS ISN'T THE PERSON I WANT TO BE-)
-
It's ok to be.
-
Switch up the perspective:
I Will fix my issues,
one brush at a time
A swipe of lipstick
layer eyeshadow
Please don't clump, mascara
Add some concealer
(I NEED TO FIX
THE VOICES IN MY HEAD)
Some brow gel
Some eyeliner.
Top it off
With a
[[I hear voices say,
voices far away
"say cheese!" click]]
I-
I'll be O.K.
Dec 30, 2020
Dec 30, 2020 at 12:57 AM UTC
You told me I broke you
That you fell apart
Without me you were wreckage
Broken bits of a heart
And then you moved on
You found some new parts
Started making the repairs
Built your own heart
Tell me is it wonderful
To be whole again
The guilt has destroyed me
Long after you didn't
Dec 3, 2020
Dec 3, 2020 at 1:00 PM UTC
this is me
screaming into
the void
a whisper
i am deserving and worthy of love
this is me
constructing pieces
of boundaries
i can't put up yet
this is me
speaking words
that are not lies
this is me
preparing for the worst
this is self-preservation
Nov 30, 2020
Nov 30, 2020 at 8:16 PM UTC
hey i heard you are doing better
im glad
for you
im not doing better
it's worse
im tired of drawing lines on my arm
running out of time all along
they told me it'd be ok
well what if everyone was wrong
?
do you still need me
you sent me a post
"send this to the person that saved your life, even if they didn't know it"
im glad you're better
im glad i could help
but dear god i'm still falling apart
Nov 27, 2020
Nov 27, 2020 at 11:07 PM UTC
I know my face is feminine
I know everyone 'knows' I'm a girl
I know in this confusing christian society
You have to keep to the binary
And so I don't expect them
To look at me
And say "He"
But just once
Maybe they'll hesitate
Before saying "She"
Nov 26, 2020
Nov 26, 2020 at 11:27 AM UTC
I wrote a poem into the wind
Improvisational melody
And promptly forgot it
I think the wind kept it
Nov 26, 2020
Nov 26, 2020 at 11:19 AM UTC