I look upon myself
Staring longing and in love
Hovering over the waters of creation
Holding the image of my existence in my gaze
The visions of my being
Sharing with me the reflection of devotion
I exist only here for only here I am
Unafraid for I know this is really true
But alas the vengeful Nemesis had replaced my perfect waters
with this stygian puddle
Leaving only the sight of worms creeping out of the mud
Reality forever changed
With me no longer in it
The sight of being is gone
The beauty and love corrupted
Everything is darkened and dreadful
Everything has lost its meaning
I put my hands in the mud
Hoping to create and replace the love of my reflection
To replace upon this Earth what captivated me so
But I could not bring to form what was already perfect
Everything I make is a mockery of my image
Pulling me ever distant
Falling deeper into memory
Nothing I do matters
I no longer exist
My reflection is gone
Jun 26, 2020
Jun 26, 2020 at 3:41 PM UTC
From time to time
I compose a possible banter
Thoughtful and beaming with insight
full in fervor that spoils my ego
I fall to reality as I erase my words
My mind is made up, I wish not to offend with my interruption
Why disturb the sleeper with a specter's presence?
They live their lives with their gaze looking forward
rather than looking back to where I am
I close my eyes to turn the darkness darker
Listening to the constant sounds that rattles the walls
Focusing on the silence in between for peace
It is just me here alone
Dictating force upon the slouching body
Abusing it to do my deeds
I opened my eyes
and tried to write a letter
I deleted it all
I felt I began to ramble
and the rambling of a madman
is something that isolates the madman
alone in his madness
I sit here with my head buzzing
and swirling without any control
as I feel a sickness from the poisoning
that the void of a moment with meaning
Then I hit the wall hard and ask why!
I respond by typing
This is why!
This is nothing
Only a prostration before the chasm of chaos
What do you want me to say?
This is all you got
and that is what it is
What kind of a person are you if this is all you got
You sitting conversing silently with none to hear
trying to make any sense of who I am
So how is this going to end?
You are so tired
You should get some rest
Don't shut down
Answer me!
What could I say to you?
I wish I could get you to understand
that you bring me pain
Anxiety from the withering muscles and joins
of a body that had either been ruined by its creation
or the folly of the the fool that wore it down
Pains in my back and pains from the life you have me put me through
I am trapped in this body fumbling through existence
Suffering from lack of sleep
and from a relentless consciousness
that curses me with incessant ramblings
An unending line of thought
that blends dream and reality
shocking my mind into habits of criticizing all things
You make me angry
You make me wish I was in a different person
You live below the eyes of others
You are burnt by the simpleness of day
You lack what you once loved and you live putrid in your uncaring shame
You don't take care of yourself like you should
Your breath is revolting and you refuse to do the most simplest of actions
all because you just don't care
You live you life like you are going to die any moment
not caring about the mess you leave behind
If I could ask you this question
in a clarity of mind that I solemn come across
I want to know why you want me to die?
My life is that of a wonderful adventure
The collecting of experiences is like that of the collecting of jewels
Steep cliffs strain my legs but they are always conquered by my stride
Dreadful walls stand looming over me
but I know all walls are capable of falling
I know you are tired
I know you don't get any sleep
I am sorry
I am sorry I don't treat you well
because I truly don't think it matters
I don't know how long I will be here
All my luck could give out
leaving me at the bottom
feeling as if I belong there eternally
A fruition of a secret plan that I have been building for years
A dive into the depths of true isolation
removing myself from those who could miss me
disappearing without them noticing
I'm tired
I'm alone
No one can help me in this way
A way that is locked within me
as I stand in the way blocking the path to freedom
I need to sleep
I'll feel better tomorrow
Jun 26, 2020
Jun 26, 2020 at 3:17 PM UTC
Riding our aunt guard poultry
is dust riding on sense woods
Doe cut sever few aught
came water ye dew his ****
Hats that fly hid
Fate run fright
Mar 20, 2020
Mar 20, 2020 at 7:19 AM UTC
Speak in code
trying to not say
what I mean
Stay inside
I can hear the rain
go away
go online
see what people say
a mistake
my back hurts
I shift in my seat
it still hurts
energy within
bright face looking back at me
turn off the TV
It is dark
I should go outside
I am out
smells like ****
the smell of the air
grow from ****
side by side
suburban living
the lifestyle
what is there
under that building
I don't care
chest rattles
kick out the arches
move forward
strong tree branch
my prismatic friend
please don't break
crawl on me
I can feel your legs
treat me well
tree to tree
a slaughter of twigs
the kings loom
sit on the hard ground
uncomfortable and longing
this is all I get
Jul 18, 2019
Jul 18, 2019 at 12:52 AM UTC
Time to love life with all your heart
Let your eyes feel the day's mind turn to night
Things left to find beyond a long lost light
People's souls reflect the face of pain
Lost thoughts in a good head
keep smiling inside for the sun
with hands in a place that can hold hope
but wishing that the hand might fall
as man's body leaves to live
and beautiful dark sin can hear the thoughts
as cold tears fall hard from the broken sky
And you will ask me, Why?
Jun 21, 2019
Jun 21, 2019 at 4:46 PM UTC
What am I doing?
Some will say nothing
Most will say nothing
Even sometimes I say nothing
What am I to do?
Some will say something
Most will say something
I still say nothing
Jun 21, 2019
Jun 21, 2019 at 4:37 PM UTC
His story is boring and long,
full of contradictors, who played
little to no purpose
The ending, oh that ending
predictable, and again, had
little to no purpose
I am… I am… A failure
He said
Never saw him again
but that tall tale he told
stays with me
no matter how bad
Jun 21, 2019
Jun 21, 2019 at 4:33 PM UTC
She sat alone with the child of her true love. A true love that will never love her back. Her eyes lift heavy with tears to a reflection of herself on the wall. Pain that only she can see, and only through a lens of tears.
Tired of her selfish view, her eyes tried to focus away from the broken face of emptiness, to focus on a picture of her love smiling beside her. His face frozen with a smile and eyes glimmering in perfect joy of the moment.
With a blink and wipe of her wrist, her eyes focused again to the image of a young girl crying on the ground. Feeling lost within life and herself, having to guide the last remainder of her love to a hopeful life to one unlike her own. She looks back at the photo that is gently placed in the plastic frame, at the photo of a man that had taken her spirit. With the face he will have forever.
And in the corner of her eye, sitting broken on the floor, a reflection of the face she too will have forever.
Jun 21, 2019
Jun 21, 2019 at 4:33 PM UTC
I witness the memories that I no longer have
refreshed new with refracted eye
youth be revisited, I fall in love again
frame after enamored frame
I recall upon your archaic name
filling the room with quantum spirits
lives together in symbiotic dreams
And for one moment, I am alive
over and over again
I find myself
and I am with you
Oct 1, 2018
Oct 1, 2018 at 11:58 PM UTC
Breathe in the brisk air of life
Breathe out the exhaust from your heart
the air around me is muggy
I cannot catch my breath
This is what it feels like
to be intimate with death
Oct 1, 2018
Oct 1, 2018 at 11:54 PM UTC