like water
I poured myself into her until she was overflowing at the brim
like reinforced steel
I bridged my heart to hers and welded myself to her soul
like the sun
I filled myself with light to cover her darkness
like a blanket
I shielded her from the harsh world underneath the covers
like magnets
I orbited her aura until we inevitably collided
like a seed
I felt myself growing up from her
Then, like an idiot
I could tell she felt nothing.
May 4, 2020
May 4, 2020 at 10:58 AM UTC
Most adults call teenagers careless, parsimonious, spoiled, ignorant, and weak but have these adults ever stopped to think, what is it like to be a teenager in today's society. That school is a lot harder than when they went to school. That there is a lot more tension put on them. Pressure from their parents to do better in school. Even though a good share of adults probably wouldn’t be able to do the math that teens these days do now. Pressure from their peers to send nudes through text messages, to sleep with their girlfriend or boyfriend. To drink and get high. To go and **** themselves. Do these adults ever stop to think? Teenage suicide is the second cause of death, for teens 15 to 24. Some adults make comments about how they were bullied as a kid. That is part of life. This may be so with today teenagers. When they get home the bullying doesn’t stop. They are bullied online through text messages and some are bullied by their parents and siblings. To the point when they can't take it anymore. That they commit suicide. There’s even a small few who are tired of hurting. That they take it out on others. Which leads to teenagers afraid of another school shooting. Afraid that they or a friend will die. So they want something done. They want to feel safe when they go to school. They no longer feel tired and depressed. They want adults to understand how hard it is to be a teenager. Yet they are called lazy, selfish, spoiled, rude, and fragile. Instead of smart, selfless, kind, outstanding, brave, beautiful, and strong.
Here's to the girls like me. The ones who need makeup to feel beautiful, then stare into the mirror and cry. The ones who starve for perfection who feel isolated every day. The ones who cut and dream of death every day. The ones who don't know who they are the ones who push people away. Here's to the girls like me.
Apr 28, 2020
Apr 28, 2020 at 2:20 PM UTC
I am 16 years old, and I don’t even know if I’m real. Even as I type this, I am wondering how these thoughts in my head are turning into words on the screen. Who came up with the concept of time? Are we even really living in the moment if a moment is gone before we even get there? Does Elle Richard question her existence on a daily basis? Am I the only one dealing with these seemingly unanswerable questions?
For about a year now, I have struggled with the concept of the human condition — why we are the way we are and what our divine purpose here on this planet is. Thus far, I’ve concluded that our existence must account for something more than creating reality television and drive-thru restaurants. I was told that having these questions about life and reality is normal in college, especially during my sophomore year, where I will hit the “sophomore slump” and start questioning what I am doing with my life. I was thrilled to know that other people would be experiencing this strange sense of disorientation as well. I wouldn’t be alone.
Sophomore year has come, and it is about to go. The number of times I have been crippled by the weight of an existential crisis outweighs the number of times I’ve been able to clean my kitchen countertops without questioning the point of it all. During my biweekly crises, my friends would reassure me, offering a helping hand and confirming that this plague of questioning everything hit them, too. The only problem was that they were pondering the purpose of being in college and what the point of school was, whereas I was trying to figure out if a heartbeat really meant someone was alive.
The discussion about human existence outside of philosophy classes is sparse and can result in feelings of isolation and anxiety. Constant questioning is stressful and panic-inducing. In some cases, it can lead to depersonalization, also known as derealization, which is a symptom of a panic attack. It is basically an out-of-body experience of sorts. You may feel detached, removed, or like you are watching the situation you’re in from an outsider’s perspective. It can cause you to question your reality and whether you will ever gain control again. While this may sound alarming and scary, according to an article on AnxietyCoach.com, this symptom is harmless.
“Depersonalization seems to occur when you have become less involved with what’s going on around you, especially the people around you, and become preoccupied with your own thoughts,” said Dr. David Carbonell in the article. “These are typically not thoughts about your immediate surroundings, but thoughts of other people, times, and places. The less energy and attention you bring to your immediate circumstances, the more your thoughts wander toward ideas that can only happen in your imagination.”
As we enter into our final week of the semester, these feelings are likely to arise due to the panic-induced environment we will be in. Know that your peers may very well be experiencing the same type of pressure and anxiety that you are – you are not alone. Resources like counseling through the CSU Health Network are made available to help you work through these thoughts.
The thing is, we will never know why we are here. Having our beliefs and faith helps some of us – many of us need something to put our hope into. But who knows, maybe we are just in a huge game of Sims.
If you have not questioned your existence at least once amid the constant state of panic that is college, you probably are not real.
Apr 27, 2020
Apr 27, 2020 at 4:16 PM UTC
I dress for comfort not for speed these days
And believe me, I dress for comfort a lot
Forget the hassle of even tying a lace
When I slip into a cool pair of Crocs
I'm blessed to live near a Crocs store
And you know I can't help but go hog wild
Walls and walls of Crocs from ceiling to floor
In every imaginable color and style
When I dress for the night to show off my stuff
The smell of plastic permeates the air
It's like a drug, this shoe in which I am in love
I'll shoot in the air! My love affair! I do not care!
You see I have my casual Crocs
As well as my Sunday go to meeting pair
They make me wish it was Sunday
more often than not
Cause when I wear them I'm in heaven
and feel I'm walking on air
On normal days when I mow yards for a living
I put on my Manly Work Crocs
When Winter is here and the cold comes a-licking
Crocs look stunning with knee-high socks
So you see I have all of my bases covered
You've gotta love it, like it or not
Of course, I walk on one side of the street,
my family the other
Cause I like to jump up and down, turn around,
skip and bounce whenever I am wearing my Crocs
Mar 19, 2020
Mar 19, 2020 at 4:33 PM UTC
I'm always so alone. Even when surrounded. By people that I know I'm always so astounded. By my ability to ruin everything Losing friends and starting fires Everyone thinks i'm a liar I always stay at home Cause i'm not good in public I sit here on my phone I'm always disappointed I watch them live their lives I wish that I were happy Victim of my generation Time machines can not erase it Who am I supposed to be? When will I be complete? When will they be proud of me? It's getting harder to see Slit my wrists, ****** fists Questioning why I exist Pain persists, evil gifts ******* up my life to **** I'm worthless, slit my wrists until I bleed out I try to stay strong No matter what I do, I'm always in the wrong It never gets easier, But maybe…
Mar 19, 2020
Mar 19, 2020 at 4:31 PM UTC
I love you so very much,
Even though at times I do things that hurt.
I try so hard to hope that you always see
How much you being in my life means to me.
I am sorry yet again for causing you pain.
That is the last thing I ever wanted to do.
Even when I am trying to look out for you and do the right thing,
I mess up, I am sorry for that too.
I hope that you still know how much I love and cherish you,
Like nothing else in my life gives me the thrill of being loved by you.
So I hope that you listen and see it in my eyes,
This sincere apology that comes with tears from deep inside.
Feb 1, 2020
Feb 1, 2020 at 3:53 PM UTC
roses are dead, violets are too. I'm still in love but not with you. you thought you hurt me and made me cry, but now I'm talking to this brand new guy. simply because you have no class, you can go ahead and kiss my *** so sit around and talk your **** ***** you and your little *** **** Do you think you can do better? cool story bro. I hope you get ****** from your little new *** you said you loved me but it wasn't true. well guess what sweetheart, I played you too
Nov 26, 2019
Nov 26, 2019 at 11:44 AM UTC
I spent three weeks in a mental hospital and what I discovered there I feel like should be put into words...
we are not who we think we are.
the boy with turrets told the funniest jokes
the girl who rakes her nails up and down her skin could create the most exquisite drawings
the girl who abused drugs had the wisest soul
the boy with schizophrenia had the biggest heart
the girl who tried to **** her self told the boy with insomnia stories to help lure him to sleep.
the boy who wanted to **** himself had the deepest passion for cooking.
the girl with slits and scars all over her body dried my tears and told me I was beautiful
the boy with anger issues gave the warmest hugs
the girl with bulimia told everyone every day that they looked beautiful in their bodies.
the boy who was a compulsive liar told us that he wanted us all the get better and that he was for once, telling the truth.
the girl who almost drank herself to death stood up for everyone that felt they were feeling bullied.
the boy with severe social anxiety made sure nobody sat alone at meals.
we are not who you think we are...
Nov 26, 2019
Nov 26, 2019 at 11:15 AM UTC
you know something is wrong with our schooling system if they give us an entire week off and kids are still miserable about going back... it's to the point where they can't even say its because we're lazy. maybe its because we have teachers that genuinely don't care if we pass or fail, we have those teachers that teach just to give us a test and if we fail, it's automatically our fault for not studying or working hard enough. the students just treat each other like crap and judge one another, and the only time we ever seem to care about one another is when something tragic happens... we don't hate school cause we're lazy, we hate school because of its a horrible environment with ****** people. why would we want to do something every single day that just makes us miserable?
Nov 25, 2019
Nov 25, 2019 at 3:37 PM UTC