justCharleenagain - Hello Poetry

Bones tender heat within Closeness & safety abound Reminders of lust rise inside They no longer hold us here We are apart, but alive. Fears shared, wishes parted They alone glow beneath me Heart sounds keep away the dark I am awake I am close I am your thoughts Warm & Alive as ever Reminders of comfort How it kept you safe Moments of ecstasy rush back Just to leave you lonesome again ****** again Those clouds cannot hide your glaces toward me She sees every one.

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Jul 2, 2020

Jul 2, 2020 at 12:21 AM UTC

Untitled

Bones tender heat within Closeness & safety abound Reminders of lust rise inside They no longer hold us here We are apart, but alive. Fears shared, wishes parted They alone glow beneath me Heart sounds keep away the dark I am awake I am close I am your thoughts Warm & Alive as ever Reminders of comfort How it kept you safe Moments of ecstasy rush back Just to leave you lonesome again ****** again Those clouds cannot hide your glaces toward me She sees every one.

20

She really always was there Knowing when something wasn't quite right She had an outstanding curse of putting her own terrors aside to help you sort out yours Trying the whole time not to let her own through. She did not belittle the issues. She knew me well enough to take what mattered and bring it to light The light within herself, however, was fighting hard to shine She never let her demons take over her love Her battles with her own soul erupted in her work The most inspiring expression I believe she had All of her light shone through her work She was light. She lived it. I believed she lived for light, and few people understood that Sometimes, perhaps our own fear of darkness is too overwhelming. And soon our souls are eclipsed by things we cannot control. I believe in light. I live by its power. It gives me control. Relief of pain. And it gave me a precious bond with a woman so bright, so radiant, and supernatural. She blessed me with her light. Though she had shown me her own eclipse of her soul, I believed she could overcome it all. She inspired. And wherever she may have gone, I know she is the most glorious being of her kind.

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Apr 27, 2020

Apr 27, 2020 at 3:54 AM UTC

Goodbye Ruth, I am so sorry

She really always was there Knowing when something wasn't quite right She had an outstanding curse of putting her own terrors aside to help you sort out yours Trying the whole time not to let her own through. She did not belittle the issues. She knew me well enough to take what mattered and bring it to light The light within herself, however, was fighting hard to shine She never let her demons take over her love Her battles with her own soul erupted in her work The most inspiring expression I believe she had All of her light shone through her work She was light. She lived it. I believed she lived for light, and few people understood that Sometimes, perhaps our own fear of darkness is too overwhelming. And soon our souls are eclipsed by things we cannot control. I believe in light. I live by its power. It gives me control. Relief of pain. And it gave me a precious bond with a woman so bright, so radiant, and supernatural. She blessed me with her light. Though she had shown me her own eclipse of her soul, I believed she could overcome it all. She inspired. And wherever she may have gone, I know she is the most glorious being of her kind.

26

Coffee, sun, in the breeze. A breeze to cool the air, a breeze to disrupt the heat upon my arm. The breeze pulling and pushing my strands of clean, fresh, soft hair. There are birds, they are alive and have no idea who I am, or perhaps that I am even under them. I am aware of them. I see them above and I smile; it is brief. I feel clean today, the air purifies all around me, and inside me. I wear no make-up, and I feel beautiful, because I am here, and alive and doing what I feel is good. Drinking the coffee, holding the cup, so clean and perfect, steam rising, swirling, becoming lost in the air. The aroma stolen by my nose. I love coffee. The heat through the cup on my hands makes me smile again. I see art, and I know it is someones real life. I see the urging desperate attempt to make us see what it is and how she feels. I look at it that way and feel it deeply for a moment, and appreciate that I can see that, and not have to tell anyone, just know that I appreciate the art she has created. She doesn't know it and never will, but in this moment that art is for me, me and my hair and coffee and wind, that bird too. After that, I see the art for my eyes. It is nice to see. My eyes enjoy it. Grass is green, sky is blue and I love you. I love me, and I need more moments like these to remind me. Even if they are only imagined.

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Mar 8, 2010

Mar 8, 2010 at 2:35 PM UTC

Coffee

Coffee, sun, in the breeze. A breeze to cool the air, a breeze to disrupt the heat upon my arm. The breeze pulling and pushing my strands of clean, fresh, soft hair. There are birds, they are alive and have no idea who I am, or perhaps that I am even under them. I am aware of them. I see them above and I smile; it is brief. I feel clean today, the air purifies all around me, and inside me. I wear no make-up, and I feel beautiful, because I am here, and alive and doing what I feel is good. Drinking the coffee, holding the cup, so clean and perfect, steam rising, swirling, becoming lost in the air. The aroma stolen by my nose. I love coffee. The heat through the cup on my hands makes me smile again. I see art, and I know it is someones real life. I see the urging desperate attempt to make us see what it is and how she feels. I look at it that way and feel it deeply for a moment, and appreciate that I can see that, and not have to tell anyone, just know that I appreciate the art she has created. She doesn't know it and never will, but in this moment that art is for me, me and my hair and coffee and wind, that bird too. After that, I see the art for my eyes. It is nice to see. My eyes enjoy it. Grass is green, sky is blue and I love you. I love me, and I need more moments like these to remind me. Even if they are only imagined.

33

I feel like a blurry photo; black & white Unclear, yet beautiful On a quiet street. Shiny with rain Leaves scattered allover reflection of streetlamps stinging my eyes light sprayed though my vision filtered by tears magnifying the lights. leaves blow, headlights string, taking all hope along... It's almost comforting how alone I feel.

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Mar 8, 2010

Mar 8, 2010 at 2:29 PM UTC

Reflections

I feel like a blurry photo; black & white Unclear, yet beautiful On a quiet street. Shiny with rain Leaves scattered allover reflection of streetlamps stinging my eyes light sprayed though my vision filtered by tears magnifying the lights. leaves blow, headlights string, taking all hope along... It's almost comforting how alone I feel.

12

It's just too much to move right now Through the pounding, tightening bass of life rushing through my chambers Each successful movement of blood pulls me down further My heart feels dry, hung inside my chest with only a rusty nail It is clambering against my throat with every beat Deafening my mind I have to move or my chest will implode I **** cold air into my dusty heart in a rhythm that makes no sense And it starts to accelerate But my thoughts are empty... And my soul knows better It relays these messages to my heart my heart drums the rhythm of reality throughout my body. I can't ignore it I can't fix it. I swallow all of the tightness, burning, dreams and screams This time, it's forcing its way out of my bile and into my heart It runs through my veins, and never rests It is no longer a quiet frustration No longer a memory, or the past It's my throat It's my stomach It's coming out forcing its way through my mind Now it's grown It burns like so much blood I can't swallow down fire I can't hold it in my mouth It doesn't drip like blood It grows It destroys It burns off the dust of my soul The smell is what brings me here To panic, to gag... to sob. The smell of the living dead memories Burning inside by the fire of all that pain awake... again.

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Mar 8, 2010

Mar 8, 2010 at 2:27 PM UTC

Untitled

It's just too much to move right now Through the pounding, tightening bass of life rushing through my chambers Each successful movement of blood pulls me down further My heart feels dry, hung inside my chest with only a rusty nail It is clambering against my throat with every beat Deafening my mind I have to move or my chest will implode I **** cold air into my dusty heart in a rhythm that makes no sense And it starts to accelerate But my thoughts are empty... And my soul knows better It relays these messages to my heart my heart drums the rhythm of reality throughout my body. I can't ignore it I can't fix it. I swallow all of the tightness, burning, dreams and screams This time, it's forcing its way out of my bile and into my heart It runs through my veins, and never rests It is no longer a quiet frustration No longer a memory, or the past It's my throat It's my stomach It's coming out forcing its way through my mind Now it's grown It burns like so much blood I can't swallow down fire I can't hold it in my mouth It doesn't drip like blood It grows It destroys It burns off the dust of my soul The smell is what brings me here To panic, to gag... to sob. The smell of the living dead memories Burning inside by the fire of all that pain awake... again.

39

Rapid moments falling into place I stand on the edge, look down to see your face Miles above all the pain you've caused Thinking of jumping, but the hate makes me pause All those memories flow into my mind I wonder why, is it a lie, do I want to rewind? I could stand up here for the rest of my life hating you, wanting you, trying to pull out the knife But I know you've already taken the leap You gave up, your're gone now All that you've sown I must reap So I take a breath, step away & try to take myself back I know, one more step, I'll never gain the strength that I lack I walk away free, knowing you've made your choice It doesn't change a ******* thing I'm taking back my voice.

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Mar 8, 2010

Mar 8, 2010 at 2:24 PM UTC

Reclaimed

Rapid moments falling into place I stand on the edge, look down to see your face Miles above all the pain you've caused Thinking of jumping, but the hate makes me pause All those memories flow into my mind I wonder why, is it a lie, do I want to rewind? I could stand up here for the rest of my life hating you, wanting you, trying to pull out the knife But I know you've already taken the leap You gave up, your're gone now All that you've sown I must reap So I take a breath, step away & try to take myself back I know, one more step, I'll never gain the strength that I lack I walk away free, knowing you've made your choice It doesn't change a ******* thing I'm taking back my voice.

16

All the pain there ever was all the tears there ever were Surface again After so much time So may smiles I thought you were gone and I might be safe at last Safe from the wet leather Cologne in the rain Lights reflecting Skin soft, wet, cut open Smoke swirling, filling time and energy Stealing away all I wanted to say An embrace like no other Blurry Warm An Eternity A thought that it was once all mine That I had captured life's prize at last in a raindrops time It all fell And I moved on Constantly looking back Through that ***** window Wet, soaked with memories Drenched with tears I stuffed it all away stowed safely, deep down In a perfect hole that you chiseled in the back of my heart There it all remains There it waits To be remembered By a reminder unannounced Shocking my soul awake Forcing it all out again One of these days I won't notice And you'll blow away in the winds of change A lesson will have been learned, a life lived, a moment stolen, And hope restored

0

Mar 8, 2010

Mar 8, 2010 at 2:20 PM UTC

Untitled

All the pain there ever was all the tears there ever were Surface again After so much time So may smiles I thought you were gone and I might be safe at last Safe from the wet leather Cologne in the rain Lights reflecting Skin soft, wet, cut open Smoke swirling, filling time and energy Stealing away all I wanted to say An embrace like no other Blurry Warm An Eternity A thought that it was once all mine That I had captured life's prize at last in a raindrops time It all fell And I moved on Constantly looking back Through that ***** window Wet, soaked with memories Drenched with tears I stuffed it all away stowed safely, deep down In a perfect hole that you chiseled in the back of my heart There it all remains There it waits To be remembered By a reminder unannounced Shocking my soul awake Forcing it all out again One of these days I won't notice And you'll blow away in the winds of change A lesson will have been learned, a life lived, a moment stolen, And hope restored

42