he called me "awesome" instead of "perfect"
and that means a lot to someone like me
because being me I know a lot about the word "perfect" and how much
I am
the opposite of that word
it means a lot for a charming boy to recognize
I am not perfect and instead to deem me worthy of a word that I can actually own up to
but alas I do not
I brush these small compliments aside
just as I brushed him aside
probably because I am
too aware of how unperfect I am
too aware of how unstable I am
too unstable to let this charming boy
become a part of my life
this being one of my most unperfect flaws
not being able to let someone as "perfect"
as him become a part of my
perfectly unperfect life
Jun 18, 2013
Jun 18, 2013 at 9:40 PM UTC
there is no sound more beautiful than your laugh
no smile as bright as yours
a thousand diamonds glistening - that is
your smile,
the sound of a thousand waves kissing the shore - that is
your laugh
when you smile I can't help but try to offer mine in return, it is not a thousand diamonds glistening
it is not beautiful, doesn't even begin to compare
to yours
but I hope my smile does the same to you
as yours does to me
(even though that is impossible)
knocks the wind from my chest
how much I wish to be the reason for
that smile
but I am not
the reason for that breathtaking smile
is a breathtaking girl
equal to you in happiness and beauty
I cannot compare
but if admiring you from afar is anything like loving you, please don't forget me
when the breathtaking girl has long left your mind, remember me
remember our friendship
remember my smile
remember my laugh
(even though they are not beautiful)
because it is so unfair for you to be running through my mind all day when I know that
I am an almost forgotten memory
May 29, 2013
May 29, 2013 at 6:47 PM UTC
I watched
I watched the gold flecks in your eyes turn to amber flames
I watched as your nectarine lips turned bloodred
and instead of a crooked smile there leaked a devious laugh
I watched you buy Malboro Blacks instead of Arizona green tea and a Kit-Kat
I watched you change into something you weren't
because you were me
you are me
and I thought I needed change
but I didn't change for the better
I changed
and now I can't change back
I'm in love with the demon I call myself
the dark, the twisted, the wrong
all these things that I've become
that I am
everything I never thought I'd be
I am
May 26, 2013
May 26, 2013 at 1:44 PM UTC
I watched
I watched the gold flecks in your eyes turn to amber flames
I watched as your nectarine lips turned bloodred
and instead of a crooked smile there leaked a devious laugh
I watched you buy Malboro Blacks instead of Arizona green tea and a Kit-Kat
I watched you change into something you weren't
because you were me
you are me
and I thought I needed change
but I didn't change for the better
I changed
and now I can't change back
I'm in love with the demon I call myself
the dark, the twisted, the wrong
all these things that I've become
that I am
everything I never thought I'd be
I am
May 26, 2013
May 26, 2013 at 1:43 PM UTC