If I were asleep right now, you'd be all I dream
I'd feel your warmth through the covers, so it seems
But right now, as you sit in the passenger seat
Of my parked car, I can't help but feel deceit
Emanate from your gaze, your smile, your laugh
How can you look me in the eye and say, "It's all in the past?"
True, I know you're not perfect, but nobody is
And I've no intention of being a perfect kid
But listen to me when I tell you that my love for you is hopeless
Hopelessly enduring, endeavoring, embracing
Whatever painful realizations I might be facing
Whatever derailment I'll have to follow through
Whatever ******* mistake I may or may not do
I just wanted you to know you are my hopeless everything
Even as you close the passenger door behind you
And tune out my words with some Broken Social Scene
As you throw a stone through my car window
And as the glass pierces my elbow
As you elude me in a fit of tears
That I know I've brought out of you, my dear
As I drive away in silence
Consoling myself through musical compliance
Now, as I lie here in bed, I can't help but crave you
I combat your warmth with the rush of a drug
My second white girl, my first being you
And as I stare at the ceiling, I see the glow-in-the-dark stars
That you and I placed, calling the ceiling light Mars
I find that I miss you, darling, I miss you so much
But how can you miss something that you could never touch?
A someone who never really loved you much
A someone who exists only in dreams
Well, I don't know...I'm frightened it seems
To wake up from this and return to my loneliness
This is my life, I guess....
Jan 23, 2017
Jan 23, 2017 at 9:20 PM UTC
Hello, my dearest friend
I just wanted you to know
That I never wanted to go
Do you remember when
I spoke Japanese to your mom and dad
How we talked and how we laughed
And we wrote a message on the writing pad?
Do you remember when
We tried to watch Pulp Fiction
When my head rested against your shoulder
And our bodies lay in perfection?
Do you remember when we ran
Through those elementary halls
And we stopped to catch our breath
As our hearts were enthralled?
I remember feeling blessed
Just to see you every day
And your guise reminds me of
All the words I couldn't say
Goodbye, my dearest friend
I just wanted you to know
My love for you will never end
Sayōnara
Apr 21, 2015
Apr 21, 2015 at 5:38 PM UTC
I think of you now
How much happier you are
Now that you've distanced yourself
From me
I hardly see you now
How you smile more often
Now that I'm nothing
But a memory
I wish to hold you again
But I just now
That will never be
A reality
I wanted to tell you
Though we never kissed
That I loved you
Through thick and thin
Did you ever see
How much I cared
When your dreams
Seemed to shatter?
Did you ever realize
How much I loved you
When our laughs would meet
In a beautiful unison?
Did you ever decide
How much to hurt me
When my words suddenly
Meant nothing to you?
I just can't seem to think
You ever thought
The same way
About me
Jan 31, 2015
Jan 31, 2015 at 10:29 PM UTC
You say you love me
But your eyes scream hatred
Your lips press against mine
But your teeth bite back screams
Your hands caress mine
But your nails hide the blood drawn
Your breast comforts mine
But your heart burns with angst
Your skin brushes mine
But your flesh aches with depression
So I’ll ask you once again
“How was your day?"
Nov 25, 2014
Nov 25, 2014 at 5:33 PM UTC
I want to be noticed in this skin
For the person ready to burst from within
I want to be recognized
For the plans that I have finalized
I want to be ******* remembered
For the man that was once yours
Sep 20, 2014
Sep 20, 2014 at 9:21 PM UTC
You used to be yourself
But now you're someone else
You used to be so happy
But now you're blinded
You used to be realistic
But now you're counterfeit
You used to be original
But now you're plagiarized
What happened?
Sep 20, 2014
Sep 20, 2014 at 9:17 PM UTC
I remember when you and I would talk
About almost anything in the world
I remember when you and I would laugh
Between the jokes that we had told
I remember when you and I would touch
Against the skins of our imperfections
I remember when you and I would kiss
Beneath our sheer contemplation
Never has a moment gone by
Where I don't think of you
Where my heart doesn't break for you
Where my lips don't yearn for yours
Never has a minute gone by
Where I don't miss you
Where my hands don't want yours
Where my body doesn't feel yours
Never has a second gone by
Where I don't die for you
Where my head doesn't ache for you
Where my skin doesn't bleed for you
But the pain that hurts the most
Is knowing that you
Probably don't spend a second
Thinking about me
Sep 11, 2014
Sep 11, 2014 at 1:59 AM UTC
What comes from this feeling?
This feeling of remorse, this feeling of hate,
This feeling that I can't dictate.
In a second, I feel my happiness leave
As a rush of anger clouds my relief.
In an hour, I feel my anger dissipate
As a wave of sadness arrives to congregate.
I don't even believe I have a personality
For all I can tell is I am a breaking anomaly
With emotions that stir like a hurricane
And wrap around me like cellophane.
What comes from this feeling?
I do not know, but all I can say is
I hope, one, day, I encounter true bliss.
May 28, 2014
May 28, 2014 at 8:05 PM UTC
I find myself trying to speak
The words I myself find to be meek
Your presence brings a sense of happiness
To a world full of ugliness
Your life shines with fulfillment
In a world with so little enjoyment
These words I try to find
Are formed in my mind
But are never spoken
For their formation hold naught but a token
A token of appreciation
For your reconciliation
These words I try to find
I hope to God are worthy of your time
When all my words do to accomplish
Are a sense of unworthy abolish
To a rather revealing relation
That was never a creation
May 23, 2014
May 23, 2014 at 9:53 PM UTC
What if I were a better friend to you?
Would you still talk to me today
Or would things remain the same?
What if I were a better lover to you?
Would you still be in my arms
Or would you still have fallen for his charms?
What if I were a better son to you?
Would you still care for me
Or would I be but a distant memory?
What if I weren't alive?
Would people miss my presence
Or would people not even notice my absence?
I just don't know...
May 23, 2014
May 23, 2014 at 12:40 AM UTC