Everything you've ever been afraid of
Every want of which you've been ashamed
Can you build them a place to be happy?
Can you build them a place to be okay?
Let this be your lullaby
Every lonely feeling you've ever abandoned
Every impulse from which, in horror, you've reeled
Would you allow a safe space in here to play?
Could you create a world your own where it's okay?
Let this be a gentle hug
When you bring it all back to the beginning
All perverts and bullies soften into babies
Somebody has to cry for the forsaken, and so,
May all the tears make me tender like when I was born
Nobody asked to be born here
Nobody asked to be given form
Nobody asked to be incubated
So let them all be loved and give them warmth
I need be seen by all,
Behold me!
The pervert flashes for your gaze
Expose my insides for connection
Don't leave me in that empty place
But if you must reject me coldly
I wouldn't think you hold the blame
Forgiveness is a private language
That's whispered in a secret place
So let these long sweet arms now hold me
For what it's worth, what I can spare
The meanwhile, hoping it's sufficient
Recall these words because I care:
"Every pervert needs a lullaby"
Jan 28, 2024
Jan 28, 2024 at 11:05 PM UTC
the idiot's a clawing panic
slapping stony walls in endless darkness,
from here till nothing more.
groping mad with blistered digits
which ache to break that so far formless cryptogram
burning, yearning, longing gaze
blacked out eyes cast wistful somethings to a far off place;
that maybe, someone deep within the space between
would cast a magic spell
until the darkness parts... and there's your face.
I knew I'd see you again.
I've been waiting here for so long...
it's so good to feel you again.
your touch is so warm; am I warm too?
I get to be someone in you:
you love me; so I love you.
...
frightened knowing eyes within me sharply eek!
it's seen it all before, this tragic prophecy...
and so the serpent slithers ever sickly up my spine,
climbing up the lighthouse, binding seeking eyes
that dormant haunted mannequin is finally brought back to life
and so it came, that firelight
refracted through ghosts unremembered -
oh what a tragic thing!
for that living human being on the other side
to become not more than a movie screen
and so it was,
the lighthouse made projector
giving living seasons blissed
till forgotten horrors do return
and love's light is smothered
it is in those final moments
when all is laid to rest
that those searching eyes, unknowing,
lie forgetting in the dark
reprise
Jan 27, 2024
Jan 27, 2024 at 12:42 PM UTC
vyvanse, at last, my chance to be
alive, to do, to finish all my
projects, **** I love this job,
I want to dig it all day long
ritalin, my only friend, you'll be
there till the very end, I know
that I am happy now, I
think that I have meaning now,
I wish you wouldn't bring me down, I wish I weren't
running out
adderall, yeah that's my ****
when addie's there, agree with it,
I'll never stop this addie binge, I know that
I don't have to quit,
my doctor tells me "this is it",
my dealer tells me "this the ****
I'm happy now it's safe to say the
war on drugs will end today,
amphetamine's the bread we break, the
wedding band that's been exchanged
between this government-sanctioned
pharmaceutical cartel
and the DEA
May 20, 2014
May 20, 2014 at 8:43 PM UTC
almost dormant I lay to sleep, I think about a thousand things
rarely will they make me think about the things that matter most
just last night I found myself all bundled for a good night's sleep
drifting, breathing, wondering what is settled now within my head
festered now within my head, this morbid curiosity led to
dreams of how I'd gotten here, right in this bed,
this stranger bed in this alien house, tomorrow rising all alone,
every day to this lonely school, each person just a mockery of what
I had known before in days where I was not yet all alone.
May 20, 2014
May 20, 2014 at 7:17 AM UTC
do the things so softly
that you did so well then
you're a happy humble
man with no regrets now
all the words you say have
touched this air before, yes
I am proud to say that
I could always see you
May 2, 2013
May 2, 2013 at 11:41 AM UTC
In silver box that’s lined with broken gold
these papers tell of old forgotten nights;
of cooler air than this that filled my chest
surrounding my whole being with such care
One story here was written under stars,
with hints of sentiment engraved so deep
When lovers break the bonds that dig so deep,
their hearts both crumble into darkened gold
A duo surely crafted by the stars
Eternal fate that dies within a night
I’d like to tell this story with great care
to stop this tight sensation in my chest
She held a special place within my chest
her love was bitter black and buried deep
I’d like to think, perhaps, she maybe cared
enough to give me years of solid gold
She gave me lovely dreams most every night
of places even higher than the stars
But now I only look up to the stars
and feel that awful feeling in my chest
What waste to give my hours all those nights
to mellow waves of sadness moving deep
Of all the colors flowing, none are gold
And nowadays I doubt she even cared
I followed the illusion that she cared
and ended up so lost below the stars
The heart she gave was made of phony gold
it sat and festered deep inside my chest
A shallow love that struck within so deep,
and now I only wish that it was night
Perhaps if I could spend just one more night
with someone else who gave such love and care
I’d feel the warm sensation fill me deep,
the charity and kindness of the stars
Another head to lie upon my chest,
a faithful love of real authentic gold
Another night goes by under the stars,
and all the care dies slowly in my chest
so deep within a prison made of gold
May 1, 2013
May 1, 2013 at 3:31 PM UTC