We lost the baby
on a Tuesday.
No name, no warning,
just blood, and her crying
in the bathroom,
and me frozen
in the hallway
like a ******* coward.
She called it nature.
I called it punishment.
Neither of us said the truth:
we didn’t know what to do
with all that grief,
so we turned on each other.
I held her after,
but not the right way.
She needed rage,
I gave silence.
She wanted me to scream with her,
I whispered
and checked my phone
when I couldn’t take her breaking anymore.
She said,
“You didn’t care.”
I did.
But I didn’t know how to show it
without falling apart too.
And I thought I had to be the strong one.
What ******** that was.
We stopped talking.
Started sleeping with our backs turned.
Started looking at each other
like strangers
who shared a secret
too painful to survive.
And yeah,
eventually she left.
Packed her bags like
she was cleaning up a mess
we both made,
but only she had to carry.
We don’t speak now.
I don’t blame her.
I blame the silence,
the shame,
the ghost that never grew,
but still
haunts everything.
I still think about them,
the little one,
and her.
Both gone,
both real,
both things
I couldn’t hold on to.
Jun 9, 2025
Jun 9, 2025 at 4:21 PM UTC
The cigarette burns, I watch it fade,
Like the smoke that loops, like the love we made.
Infinity twists in the cold night air,
Mocking the "forever" that led me here.
She’s gone, but I still wear her ghost,
Clinging in nicotine, stitched in my sleeves.
The scent of goodbye lingers the most—
Smoke stains stay, but she had to leave.
Mar 25, 2025
Mar 25, 2025 at 3:39 PM UTC
Do not fear my child,
for I am not gone.
I am the wind that
blows through your hair.
I am the sun that
kisses your skin.
I am the rising sun
with rays that glow.
I am the first star
to watch you at night.
For you see I am not gone,
I am here.
I am eternal in our love,
and in our memories.
Apr 27, 2022
Apr 27, 2022 at 11:27 AM UTC
A part of you i saw
A part i think you've never seen
It was beautiful and serene
Why do you hide it
Put on a brave face
A hard closed facade
I've seen your heart
The love you have hidden
Behind your coarse surface
Set your heart free
I promise its safe
I'll gaurd its gate
Set your heart free
Let your truth grow
let our love flourish
Allow me to love you
...
Sep 8, 2018
Sep 8, 2018 at 12:47 AM UTC
Sick of feeling sick of it
Sick of the adictions im aflicted with
Sick of counting flocks of sheep
Sick of tryna fall asleep
Sick of being sick of voices
Sick of bieng the designated driver
the designated driver to all of it
Sep 7, 2018
Sep 7, 2018 at 4:44 AM UTC
I’m sorry I’m sorry
I said, Stepping in
The mental hospital
I’m not right in the head
I’ve been constantly slicing
Cutting through skin
To escape myself
To survive my hell
I wish to see your face
when they finally let me free.
I wish you would write
or call me just once
But for now, just visions of you
While I’m drowning
In my own crimson blood
Tearing
Splitting
Ripping
Searching for the key
To this mental prison
The nurse walks away
After haven given
Me some medication
Something to calm me
The straight jacket now
Holding me firm
They put me down
I Sit there an empty stare
They filled me up with drugs
keeping my head in narcotic haze.
Pill after pill all day, every day
I am broken and defeated
Paralyzed
Broken
Alone
Sitting here in a mental home.
Aug 25, 2018
Aug 25, 2018 at 11:44 PM UTC
Take my clothes
One bag
Forget the sentimentals
Start again
Quit my job
Free again
Open my mind
Just roaming
Tell no one
Just go
To where next
Who knows
No plans needed
Just wanderlust
Dessert Sea Snow
Baring all
Never ending journey
Forever going
A lost soul
Just wondering
Aug 16, 2018
Aug 16, 2018 at 12:47 AM UTC
I walked passed the park today
You where between the trees as they sway
It was a day dream, my imagination
A tear shed in my eye to this realization
This whole town now tainted
Memories of you everywhere, all dated
Home now feels hollow missing you
I have to leave to somewhere new
I have to find home again
I have to find you
...
Aug 15, 2018
Aug 15, 2018 at 11:56 PM UTC
We drive on
But in the steps of time
We are mere electrons
In the eternal slime
Aug 2, 2018
Aug 2, 2018 at 10:22 PM UTC
How sad is it
to be so afraid
of being too happy
You feel
at any minute
things will change
That happiness
all ripped
right out
from fingertips
the moment
you claim it
The moment
you realize
you deserve it
Jul 30, 2018
Jul 30, 2018 at 11:57 PM UTC