joshua-deathdealer
"My trepidation of things past is not a song with a beginning, middle and end. But an endless symphony playing infinite variations on the same theme. One day of sadness fades into another and the heaviness in my heart will probaly always weigh the same. I have destroyed everything around me. Somehow the sun keeps moving across the sky... I don't know why. / / http://www.facebook.com/joshuathedeathdealer
you are my casualty, your eradication
my sojourn in your country
has brought about my descent
falling from your smothering embrace
your pallet of a thousand stakes
my surface dies underneath your taste
this com-mixture was difficult to fathom
but I will believe in you now, now that its over
now that its ******
© 2011 joshua deathdealer
May 8, 2012
May 8, 2012 at 12:12 PM UTC
we arose high in delusion
a projection of tranquillity
for once in this disarranged existance
I thought that I could breath
but it was just a mass of lies
a masquerade of misfortune
an impression on impressible minds
for now we fall entwined
screaming towards certain desolation
like an earthquake during a firestorm
descending into spiritlessness
spiralling downward apart
as this ghastly specter shatters in my mind
forever spellbound
© 2011 joshua deathdealer
May 8, 2012
May 8, 2012 at 12:01 PM UTC
death to the day, I burn for the night
death to our dream, I give up the fight
I'll lay down to the sound of fate falling
this is what you wanted, you can't say its not
this is what you needed, or have you forgot
© 2011 joshua deathdealer
May 8, 2012
May 8, 2012 at 11:59 AM UTC
Awakening consciousness as the weight
of my despondency clears the air.
Demons retreat under a glowing light,
my weakness in this war troubles me.
Unable to pull myself to confidence
from despairs teary smear.
You must reach for me when they return.
Making known all signs of adversity.
I will remove all infertility from my actions
and be prudent of derangement.
We must communicate all issues with compliance.
My heart is yours.
Zeal overwhelms my senses.
My skin aches for your touch.
Take my hand and know that my love is pure.
My spirit is healed, my aspirations are lifted.
My longings met and my demeanor intact.
Dreams of forever walking by your side.
The day is new and our Father is waiting
for us to take and it and make it ours.
© 2010 joshua deathdealer
May 8, 2012
May 8, 2012 at 11:57 AM UTC
I have entered a dark and desolate place
where the hollows crawl
mouthing the names of lost loves
others instead, stupidity flowing
from their mouths like a flood
trying to hide terror in silk sheets
its not hard to see convulsion in their happy smiles
or blindness in their eager eyes
their blunders in life has taught them well
that you live, taste heaven once, **** it up
then wait to die and go to hell
It is in moments like these that I wonder
if I am cursed to forever wander
the desolate land of no i love you's
from you, where the shadows burn
I feel your heart calling mine
I miss our world of make believe
My dreams are filled with your beauty
and in my nightmares I chase away
the spiders that seethe against us
God knows the frightful silence from you,
it haunts me
© 2010 joshua deathdealer
May 7, 2012
May 7, 2012 at 5:53 PM UTC
haste the day my breath
will wash away under
the waters of my intentions
already dead is my soul
salvation is for the lighthearted
for those that have not
experienced everything at all
theres no hope for the reprobate
tis fools folly to think that
love is enough to hold heaven
at some vast in time
your only comfort is in the
prayers for my speedy demise
for body to catch up with spirit
for these decaying eyes to
close and open no more
with disaster looming in
todays headlines my only
wish is that you were with me
to hold me as I pass from
one hell to the next
that your face would be branded
in my mental memory of this
fateful extrication
© 2009 joshua deathdealer
May 7, 2012
May 7, 2012 at 5:39 PM UTC
I am fighting
fighting in the dark for you
forward to this great surprise
I will not lose, you cannot die
treasons all around me
I stand firm armored
against their blades that cut
and tear me to shreds
anchored as one we will prevail
is this where the cards fall
short of a daydream
you said you'd be there in the end
I cant seem to find the last line
that draws in time, unfolding this horror
this love is growing always and thanks to me
this existence is over
gave all my energy to you
what a mistake to make
we could have let go but we held on
black paper hearts hang in the dark
honoring once upon a time
we were so blind
© 2009 joshua deathdealer
May 7, 2012
May 7, 2012 at 5:27 PM UTC
The shadows from the vultures that surround my palace of decay
darken the sky in patterns of flight.
So eager to taste the cold blood leaking from this habitat
of flesh that embodies my undying soul.
The world flies by leaving me in this room of thoughtful bliss.
My hands bleed from tearing at the walls of insanity
that are erected from drowning in my good intentions.
A tribute to many objurgations concerning
my empty promises and signals of false hope.
.
This grave I've been digging for years has no bars
nor any control on the outcome of my fate.
Only a pressing sense of depression
during these fleeting moments of solitude.
**I will defeat hell once again. I will rise above.
It is written in the wax of a thousand candles.
They speak it into existence daily.
Relinquishing all animosity towards my foes.
I will turn to face them with a grin.
I will break this cycle of hurting the one's I love the most.
The demons that crawl after me will have to crawl faster.
Time is my worst enemy and I have very little to spare.
I am heading on a long ****** conquest.
and at end I will find you there.**
© 2008 joshua deathdealer
May 7, 2012
May 7, 2012 at 4:34 PM UTC
i sit as they seethe
draining my energy
eating my insides
i keep trying, downcast without emotion
my ears bleed from the
propaganda they throw
moments ago i confided the pain
to you, i know its getting old
i keep trying, trying to sleep
without you in my arms
without hearing i love you
not even a tender tone
its like packing glass
into the cuts developed
from a lifetime of
missing you so much
i keep trying, relating
everything downplayed
hopeless, such a powerful word
what lies at the end of this
****** unforgiven trail
i keep trying, bending
to the point of breakage
running a race i thought
i had already won,beautiful
memories of you alone
hide me from the sun
© 2008 joshua deathdealer
May 7, 2012
May 7, 2012 at 4:28 PM UTC
window panes come
crashing down
among the tears
vanishing hopes are gone
they flew away
up above and through the twilight
shadows cast across the floor
reflections of the past
trembling thoughts of one
dwelling deep within the soul
a mystical sense of reality
captured by the craze
all in bewilderment
of the shock in the wave
creatures of the dimness
chattering amongst the green
everything slows in stillness
© 2006 joshua deathdealer
May 7, 2012
May 7, 2012 at 3:49 PM UTC