i remember all the nights you wanted to die and was almost unlucky enough to pull it off.
Nov 10, 2015
Nov 10, 2015 at 2:56 PM UTC
I remember on June 30th when I was in the passenger seat of the car and I couldn't hear anything but ringing my ears
It took two or three drives around to find out where you were, I remember seeing you from distance and I couldn't believe my eyes
You looked so beautiful, like the first time I looked at a photo of you on my phone screen but times a million, god you looked so beautiful.
Oct 26, 2015
Oct 26, 2015 at 10:16 AM UTC
I don't want to watch you step on the plane after we lock our lips for the last time for a long time
Jun 17, 2015
Jun 17, 2015 at 3:58 AM UTC
For the past week I've fallen sleep at 6 or 7 am and I would give anything to go to bed at a decent time
Jun 17, 2015
Jun 17, 2015 at 3:54 AM UTC
Last night I fell to the kitchen floor getting a drink and started twitching and shaking
It felt like fear had stabbed his dagger through my chest
I went to my room, laid on my bed and stared at the ceiling for 5 minutes wishing I could be ****** into space and not deal with the fear anymore
Jun 14, 2015
Jun 14, 2015 at 3:00 AM UTC
even though i'm happy in my current relationship even though we argue a lot, i think about killing myself every day. but, not because of her of course. mostly because of the stress of school and thinking every day that she's going to dump me and i don't think i'll be able to deal with heartbreak again. i don't want anyone else but her.
Jun 1, 2015
Jun 1, 2015 at 2:15 AM UTC
I was cleaning my room and i found a small box with a poorly carved heart
in it were polaroids we took and a note you left me the night you left a year ago
and i began to wonder why did i keep the note
why did i keep the only reminder i have of the night i lost everything
"its not you its me" how ******* cliche
when i finished reading i felt as if i had been punched in the gut
there was just a deafening silence
3 months later i walk into the coffee shop downtown and im in the sitting area writing stupid poems and i hear a sweet and soothing voice and i glance over and the girl in the apron behind the counter has completely blown me away
i look for like 6 seconds and she looks so i look away in an instant
i come back the next day and maybe this day ill have the courage to ask her out
or just buy a coffee and not have the guts to have a conversation with her
im in the sitting area once more and i walk to the counter and ask for a frappe and you make it for me i thank you and i walk away, there goes all my courage
the cartoon devil and angel on my shoulder climb into my brain fighting over what i should do
eventually the angel won
luckily youre on break
i walk up to you and tell you my name and you tell me yours and after 10 minutes of getting to know one another i ask you out on a date and as anxiety wraps his hand around my throat you say yes and he loosens it
we plan a date for saturday night
i drive to your house and on the way on the highway a car flipped over with ambulances on the scene i hope the driver is okay
i pull into your driveway and i go to your door and you open it as im about to knock and holy **** you look so beautiful
we go to a restaurant of your choosing that ive never been to before and we talk about our childhood, and our current lives and i pay for the check and we head out
we still have time to spare so i ask if you wanna go stargazing and you happily agree
we drive up and luckily no one else is around i turn on the radio and we lay on the hood of the car and this turns into a daily thing for after our dates
a month later we're happily together as a couple and your family loves me and my family loves you and i stop by the coffee shop everyday to say hi and grab a cup of coffee
but forward to 7 months later as things went downhill
we were living together
you barely looked at me anymore
you never wanted to go on dates or stargazing
you were never in the shop when i came in as if you were hiding from me
i walked into my room and there was a note from you
you were leaving me
a year later I was cleaning my room and i found a small box with a poorly carved heart
in it were polaroids we took and a note you left me the night i found your note a year ago
and i began to wonder why did i keep the note
why did i keep the only reminder i have of the night i lost everything
"its not you its me" how ******* cliche
Apr 30, 2015
Apr 30, 2015 at 2:17 PM UTC
It all started with you telling me to close my eyes and that you have a little surprise for me.
We were laying in your bed with dim lights on and you grabbed my face and kissed me yet i kept my eyes closed because if i opened them holy **** i would've seen the mistake i made and it would've dragged me into a self made hell i made in my imagination that was leaded by you
yet that hell would've been the only place where i felt comfortable so i opened my eyes and kissed you back to know what kissing a snake felt like
sometimes when i look at you i get chills down my body knowing that i love you but i wish i didnt
when i kissed you i closed my eyes wondering if what we had or would have one day is real
when i kiss your lips i start trembling but **** i cant help but kiss you
when i was at home alone you texted me
"hey im on my way to your house lets drive around"
we drove around talking about how big the universe is and how we're not alone and blah blah blah
then i was silent for about 20 seconds and you parked your car downtown and no one was around and you looked me in the eye and said "i love you"
i looked at you while you looked at me and said i love you too
and in my head i thought i wish i didnt
it was a week or two later we were driving to a restaurant and we held hands as you drove and your car went out of control and went off the bridge
i woke up a day later in a hospital bed with you in the bed next to mine but when i called your name something seemed a miss
your body was covered except for your hand which was hanging on the side and when i held it you were cold and i found out i was the only one who survived
at your funeral i laid a rose on your casket and told you i loved you but i wished i didnt
Apr 30, 2015
Apr 30, 2015 at 10:18 AM UTC
when i was with you were an _______
i wouldnt call it a relationship
because there was no relation
although there was a ship
but you were on the bow with your arms out
and i was an anchor waiting to be dropped
Apr 14, 2015
Apr 14, 2015 at 10:35 AM UTC
i figured happiness would be my top priority, not a letter that defines my intelligence.
Apr 10, 2015
Apr 10, 2015 at 10:31 AM UTC