
It was a sunny day that I saw you
Sun glistened off the tears that pooled in the corners of my eyes.
Your beauty brought this on.
A being of such want
Challenges the sun itself
And I know those amber eyes with the gold flecks are holding the real sun at bay.
A mind as bright as the beauty that wraps around.
Entwine our minds with the feel of skin.
Your appearance terrifies me with an overworked heart
And your mind challenges me in a way that I am not smart enough to say.
Maybe one day.
Feb 1, 2018
Feb 1, 2018 at 5:22 PM UTC
A man who has wronged another
This same man, loses his brother
This wrong came before the loss
Was this the cause?
A regretted breach of privacy
Robbed the pride from me
Robbed the friends from me
Since then, no happiness.
I apologize for what I have done
But even if it wasn't the cause
I just want my friend back.
My brother back.
Oct 6, 2017
Oct 6, 2017 at 9:17 PM UTC
I have this constant dream in which I am asking everyone in my life to punch me in the face
I know I can take the pain
But it’s the idea of being hurt that always brings supporters
Punching myself in the face does not achieve the same thing.
If you feel that I did you wrong, punch me in the face.
I know I can take a beating more than I can take myself.
My body is repairable, at least to a certain extent.
But the hits of those i have wronged are not repairable, that is why they are hitting me
I don’t want to **** myself, I just want pain
Just to feel what, I have made others feel.
Understanding is everything.
But physical pain also blocks the emotion
Punch me in the face
So I don't have to deal with what I did
Hurt me, the way I feel I hurt you.
Please,
Someone do it, or I will do it myself.
Oct 19, 2016
Oct 19, 2016 at 9:47 AM UTC
There becomes a time when you realize that your poetry is better than your fiction
The deaths in your life, sap your creativity.
With all dead friends, what can blossom?
Bad decisions and body parts
Like the flesh from a tree, positivity follows suit
But the arms of which carry you are wrecked
Because they are the arms of the grieved
The beautiful, belligerent, alcohol tolerant lives that you have left behind
There are your friends, that die like a hard rain.
But they are just as refreshing and reflect just as much sunlight.
But they die just the same
Suns die, stars burn out
Just as you realize that the hoped for importance of your writing was never as important as your friend
Sep 22, 2016
Sep 22, 2016 at 6:22 AM UTC
Blue and black
Mixed with red and tin
The pen always rips through tear soaked paper
Tears always bring tin
Tin always brings tears
For every time that you died
I've killed my liver ten fold
I know and hope I was your best friend
But anxiety and depression have nothing but questions
But I know I was almost your last call
That last call is entirely burden and curse
Any positivity is pushed down by desired silence
I'm sorry I did not answer
But am I sorry to you or your family?
I am sorry to myself
Ghosts are not real, I haunt myself
The phone I did not answer, haunts me
The grief of the world, or maybe
Just the coppery taste of blood in my beer, haunts me.
I write, drink, and act in your memory because you are forever my friend.
Sep 18, 2016
Sep 18, 2016 at 7:35 AM UTC
I wrote previously about the electronic implications on the written word
But the smoothness of this pen upon paper has made me neutral on the subject
It's insanely intoxicating when your words flow onto the paper just as they do from your mind
Uninterrupted
But, death has a way of bringing you back to reality
A birthday, In which the birth boy has passed
Twenty four red balloons, caressed gently by the wind as they are carried beautifully skyward.
Red of passion
Red of love
Because twenty four is infinite
Also is the love and the friends you left behind
But we love you,
I love you
And we will forever follow you
Upon these rising currents
Like those twenty four red balloons.
Sep 18, 2016
Sep 18, 2016 at 6:32 AM UTC
Avoiding positivity,
You feel like dirt,
So you decide to sweep yourself under the
rug.
Hiding and cowering described as
Self enlightenment
Trying to get relief from the immense pain
that suffocates daily,
You act out with a bandaid
The short relief, blessed relief.
However great it might feel,
Only distorts the reality of effectiveness.
Sudden relief mimics an intense high
It's time to understand that all
Bandaids,
are fleeting.
Some cause more than they cover
Countless marks of addiction and desperation,
cover your skin
Come out from under the rug
It's time to heal
Jul 14, 2016
Jul 14, 2016 at 1:48 AM UTC
Towards the end of a mans life
A moment flickers into his mind
A reflection of happiness
A feeling of happiness floods his brain
Fuelled by his memories
This is the help he receives for his unfortunate journey
It makes it palpable
This is what happens when he is not in control
But if he is in control
Then the moment becomes his life
The flicker becomes a weight
The weight blocks the happiness
All thats left is the depressing weight
Of the memories he isn't receiving
Now his unfortunate journey feels needed
Because his happy memories
Are not being remembered
Control or not, it's what you leave behind
You will live on
Through everyone you made smile
Jul 8, 2016
Jul 8, 2016 at 7:44 AM UTC
To win my heart you simply have to make it race
Physically or chemically.
A cheap thrill with a lack of grace
Temporary emotions, as my heart runs in place
Fatal exercise for both body and mind
But to me, the risk is worth the rub
Hoping but never finding, a lifelong thrill
Full of grace.
A grace so beautiful, that my heart required no winning.
It is there to take.
She simply has to decide to do so
But its that decision that terrifies me more than any chemical.
Jul 8, 2016
Jul 8, 2016 at 7:42 AM UTC
It's amazing how much living you can miss out on with a simple polite refusal.
In an instant you must jump off the carousel
Landing among the infinite paths that intersect into oblivion
That instant you jump can feel like a lifetime, but do not weigh it as such
To dwell on a single leap is to miss the opportunity still ahead.
Just jump with confidence
Confidence instilled by knowing that wherever you may land,
happiness or not, you are always one chance, one jump away from that happiness.
The carousel is spinning to fast to jump back on.
So never regret the jump you made, for it is gone.
Spinning into oblivion with the jumps not taken.
And there is no way of getting it back,
But why would you want it.
Next jump, Happiness.
Jul 8, 2016
Jul 8, 2016 at 1:07 AM UTC