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jonny-buttcheeks
jonny-buttcheeks
On the day of the election, he is nervous He's prepared his victory speech He's prepared his consolation speech He's dressed in his sharpest suit He's ready And, as he stares at himself in the mirror He says: "Love isn't supposed to be like this"
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Mar 13, 2015
Mar 13, 2015 at 4:19 PM UTC
Campaign
Love Truth Beauty Hell
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Mar 10, 2015
Mar 10, 2015 at 3:51 AM UTC
Synonyms
PANEL 1: Jon and Garfield sit at the same living room table in complete silence. Jon struggles to keep the weak smile plastered to his face. PANEL 2: Jon begins sobbing uncontrollably. Garfield stares. He says nothing. PANEL 3: Jon continues sobbing. Garfield eats a lasagna.
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Mar 9, 2015
Mar 9, 2015 at 7:12 PM UTC
Garfield Fanfic
I've been digging this pit my whole life Mostly I just lay around down here It feels like the only time I'm not lying around is when I'm digging it deeper It's lonely down here But that's the funny thing about being all alone You have so much space It's really spacious You could fit down here if you wanted Do you want to? Do Don't I can't figure it out, either Even if I could, I can't decide for you Should I? Decision was never your forte Should I become that person for you? I can't decide There's bugs down here Bugs and worms Most people don't like bugs and worms I like bugs and worms I think you like bugs and worms They've been down here for a while I started naming them, but then I remembered it doesn't matter Sometimes I let the bugs crawl in my mouth Just 'cause I know it'd freak people out They'd say I'm weird But they're not down here And they can't see So it doesn't matter What a fine pit this is
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Mar 9, 2015
Mar 9, 2015 at 6:55 PM UTC
I Live In A Hole In The Ground
V'z cerggl fher V ybir lbh Coded messages we send back and forth Lbh gryy zr nyy gur gvzr I hope you've been tuning in V qba'g guvax V oryvrir lbh 'Cause this one's for you Vg'f bxnl, V'yy or svar
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Mar 9, 2015
Mar 9, 2015 at 6:47 PM UTC
Qevax Lbhe Binygvar
I speak only in lies. This statement is false. I've stopped caring.
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Mar 9, 2015
Mar 9, 2015 at 6:44 PM UTC
Riddles
The obituary read "lost at sea" His ship was found one evening, dashed against the rocks The obituary read "lost at sea" It didn't tell the story of what actually happened The obituary read "lost at sea" And no one would ever know the true story The obituary read "lost at sea" And no one would ever see him again The obituary read "lost at sea" The siren had simply sung too sweetly for this one The obituary read "lost at sea"
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Mar 9, 2015
Mar 9, 2015 at 6:42 PM UTC
Obituary
You're fine I'm fine Neither of us really are Which means we both are
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Mar 8, 2015
Mar 8, 2015 at 10:30 PM UTC
Untitled
You're just like someone that I knew In oh-so-many ways Somebody who had promised me Her love for all my days Forever's what we'd hoped for Forever's what we'd planned You're just like someone that I knew I hope you understand
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Mar 8, 2015
Mar 8, 2015 at 10:22 PM UTC
This Time It'll Be Different
I know that there's a guy you like I know him very well And I wish you didn't like him And I wish he'd burn in Hell 'Cause I know you think he's sweet And I know you think he's kind And I know you like the stupid thoughts That bounce around his mind But I wish you wouldn't like him And I wish you wouldn't care About his cigarette-stained teeth About his stupid hair About his pretty, careful words About his ****** smile He uses to conceal himself Despicable and vile I wish that you'd believe me I wish you wouldn't scoff When I wish you'd never met him Because you'd be better off I wish that you would listen I wish that you could see You could love such better people Than someone such as me
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Mar 7, 2015
Mar 7, 2015 at 5:24 AM UTC
You Can Do Better, Honey