pretty-eyed girl,
your underbelly's pink,
green, deep time,
don't know what you see in me,
I overcook things,
burn my mouth, trying to speak,
as
we daggle our already wet feet
over the pits of dog-bitten territory,
you always scratch first,
but I dig deepest,
I guess, secretly,
I'm ready to see you go,
far away, where the screams can't bind you,
and all the guilt quietly fades away,
where you're comfortable, forever,
and your days remain the same, always
where words don't come out
all ******
and your pretty thoughts
untangle at the feet,
where love can loop endlessly,
and the old me is waiting
Aug 14, 2014
Aug 14, 2014 at 5:38 PM UTC
1.) I feel fine.
2.) don't like coming down from the high
3.) I'm ready for the next adventure - tired of being here
4.) All 8 sound good to me - 10, reallym oops
5.) I feel fine.
6.) Stomache hurts a little, but I'm eating a little
numbers are starting to limit me,
space even feels limiting
in the thick of repeating,
contrasting safety.
Danger
is fun to me,
placing the awareness
uncomfortably
to expand,
7.) I'm thinking of passages
8.) Dreaming, in creation, romances; freedom
9. still feels fine
1.0.) hallucinatons
goodbye
Aug 14, 2014
Aug 14, 2014 at 2:27 PM UTC
record breaking amnesia,
don't remember how to love you,
screaming,
you aim for my face,
I strike for the gut,
where the misery
has nestled in disguise,
symptoms
come in binges,
don't think about
it stretching,
lasting,
coming back again,
anger,
pain,
hatred,
you are blood,
and I still can't pretend,
record breaking amnesia,
don't remember how to love you,
you provide strings
with your support,
meanings
checked at the door,
meaning,
you attach and consume
before we go forth,
and, I
just asked for help,
not a third hand to feed me,
not a list of nasty names,
not a knife in the back,
not another family member trying to bleed me,
honesty, clarity, hope:
record breaking amnesia,
don't remember how to love you
Jul 30, 2014
Jul 30, 2014 at 6:54 PM UTC
it was time to sow the seed,
stitch the old me
to the present me,
and breathe,
release
all this anxiety,
tension tightening
the grip, strapped around
my throat,
around my hopes,
the me I've missed,
burn white candles,
lay out my stones,
rewrite the misery,
untie the history,
reach closer
to the underbelly's guise, mystery,
why I've lived
through the eyes of others,
flies, gnats,
and dead meat,
there is no me there,
just blurred scribbles,
hopes for sunshine,
trying to be
something realer
Jul 22, 2014
Jul 22, 2014 at 1:32 AM UTC
butterflies love the blood,
tumbling about in bellies,
whisk it away, the way we pray,
a bird being carried by a breeze,
lifted essence, manifested,
heart shade, finally, at ease,
signal came through,
translated to
sharpened claws,
unclenched jaws -
unthought it all while sober -
*you came as ocean, as breeze,
as birds, as leaves,
as hues and blues,
sunshines and moons,
and you left as you pleased,
opened my mouth wide to cry for you,
praise you,
love you, raise you above
what I've said in silence,
unbreak the trust I betrayed in private,
you came as hearts, as people I've known,
and stories never told, as whispers,
as hugs, and as kisses,
as melodies, repeatedly on my brain, as so,
absent of you,
I came to know you:*
butterflies love the blood,
dying slowly from the greed,
whisk it away, the way I pray,
would ask for your forgiveness,
but I know there is no need,
I feel you in the leaps
of knowing when to regret,
and when to let it be,
summon the tides stronger
aside dying suns, each day,
each night I pray for you to call upon me,
like you did when I was your favourite color,
pray for you to love the me now, and be sure of no other,
so if I adjust the pitch,
tune the sounds to form around
your wisdom, or pretty eyes,
maybe the melody will reach you again,
if not for love,
lost at sea,
then for truth,
and maybe friends we'll be,
no longer eclipsed by rumors
Jul 11, 2014
Jul 11, 2014 at 4:13 PM UTC
wondering if sound escapes heart
if voice will become foreign again, a new soul again,
stretch these wings for the first time,
deeply inhale madness, for the first time,
recognize Blue, for the first time, sadness, too, or
reluctance, soft, tickling agony,
radiating,
as being woven in a nightmare, loose thoughts, I,
cannot breathe, loose thoughts, growing pains,
swell in the belly, void fear,
swell in the heart, too, he is not here,
so faint, we become, bruising our elbows,
gathering tongues with strangers,
heart's silence echoes,
truth glistens, in the rain, tear showers,
seedlings find themselves crawling
back down in the rabbit hole, again, devour
Jul 3, 2014
Jul 3, 2014 at 9:42 PM UTC
of the tongue
and body
as it beats
the demons
of my own silence to a gentle hum –
a drunk laced
representation
of what the watching eyes
desire,
crave,
emulate
in their sacred spaces –
center stage
with every performer
abroad this conditioned
disillusion –
how it masks
all the confusion
for those that
jumped in early –
the lights
look so friendly
when you need them,
but it's you
who feeds
them –
and you die
without knowing it,
you cry
without showing it –
mourn, in distractions,
what could have been;
what could have been
if you didn't have
to keep on
searching –
the pen marks
rely on the same security,
lost in its
contrived purity –
the light is blinding,
but it keeps us from
rewinding,
reminding
our hearts of the pain
or the game,
all the same –
wanting too much
for no good reason -
Feb 7, 2012
Feb 7, 2012 at 6:32 AM UTC
Plain brain game,
droopy eyes,
shaking thighs -
Why am I back here, again?
Great laughs -
ha, ha,
ha -
peeing cycles increasing
to release
the awkward current
forming armies
of goose bumps
around my thoughts -
My Friday night
has just begun -
but it feels
like last week's ****
Same tickling fear
tied in a knot,
as I seal my
heart
with more dishonesty;
these distracted strangers
don't know any better,
any better than me, anyway -
"Love is just a state of mind,
the heart knows better,"
hmph -
intuition feeling
a tad under the weather -
Not good enough,
I should've known better..
Jan 29, 2012
Jan 29, 2012 at 1:30 PM UTC
Claws,
wounds,
deep,
screams,
points
and
shadows
or
silhouettes
of past ones;
blood -
crusting over your lies,
truth?
delusion,
disillusion,
polluted
drops
projected
into the wrong
cup of sorrow -
further,
pinching
a little stronger;
how it burns
and spreads -
those little embers
scattering like
a cancerous angst;
claws,
wounds,
deep,
screams -
one on top of the other;
Raven will
find no shelter
for you inside,
we keep the dogs
out back
now-ah-days
much love,
my sweet
Dec 24, 2011
Dec 24, 2011 at 11:15 PM UTC
Ink drying
as my well self
realizes how much
I mean this
need this -
the weaving,
the bleeding;
the needing
dampening future happiness
each step tripped backwards;
like the sounds you hear
or feel
when there's only silence,
or truth
to settle in
with the mush
or pile
or illusion,
dream
of something that
came too soon -
things I don't need
anymore;
My tear jerking
Prince,
reaching, mmm,
a push too far
without reason
or real love
enough to
set me free -
release me
from these dark clouds
of your little,
play-dream;
plucked your last pedal;
tasmanian devil
fiddling with my grace;
How cruel have I been
in your deepness?
I want you, baby,
but I need you not
to keep this steady pace;
deeperdeeperdeeper
in not being afraid
to sleep in this empty house
we built together -
but dare I
pull myself out?
God be with you, too.
Cold and dry.
Dec 24, 2011
Dec 24, 2011 at 10:42 PM UTC