Creating Scandel for the sake of love
The more the drama festers the harder I fall into you.
Into your arms
Into your kisses
Into a passion that has been buried by disappointing connections
With you I just want to be
Become lost in eachother for a while
Not let the distraction of harsh words and past mistakes
overcome what has evolved between us
It is real but undefined
It exists in the belief of what could be
We both carry broken hearts and insecurities
Are we strong enough to trust?
Questions seem endless and certainly unanswered
But through the very thick haze of doubt we see each other clearly and smile
There seem to be an unspoken understanding that we may just have
fooled them all
Feb 10, 2014
Feb 10, 2014 at 10:04 AM UTC
What do I take with me as I walk out that perverbal door?
The butterflies I have kept hidden in my hope.
My disintegrating resilience, slowly chipped away by your verbal thrashings and controlled blaming.
The hijacking of emotions.
I pack away what remains of my self esteem.
Delicately wrap the shattered pieces of my truth.
To be replenished and reconstructed with sober eyes
and a revived mind.
I ask for the lessons yet to be learned.
And the love yet to be unconditional.
Left behind is my forgiveness without expectation.
My resentments without guilt.
My shame without implication.
I no longer need them to define me.
My apology is next to the many things left unsaid.
A silent acknowlegment of my regrets and carelessness.
We can each take the memories that remind us of a happier time.
When ignorance was euphoric and accepted.
Floating above reality in a kismet of our own creation.
Finally, we can each lovingly share the life-force that has made it all worth something.
Feb 7, 2014
Feb 7, 2014 at 9:17 AM UTC
I am getting ready for the calm.
relief from the rampant and unwavering thoughts that **** my mind.
self doubt clinging to my awakening like an incurable disease.
I am getting ready for the artificial happiness to relent
surrcome to unforced laughter and genuine smiles.
I am getting ready for desire
locked in the cellar of my shame
along with so many other things
I am getting ready for hope
the warmth of it washing over me
engulfing, cleansing
bringing with it the unblinding sunlight
I am getting ready for you
my Beloved
Feb 2, 2014
Feb 2, 2014 at 7:56 PM UTC
Searching for my strength in my own self pity has left we weak of spirit and depleated of hope.
I am at a depilating stand still.
To pause is to fail.
To rest creates guilt.
By losing my sense of self,
I have lost my truth.
My instincts have been reduced to a whimper.
Jan 19, 2014
Jan 19, 2014 at 6:57 PM UTC