I have lost the sense of myself in more ways than one
This burning feeling inside is making me come undone
I have many secrets inside I do not reveal
The deep and dark ones still seem unreal
For my age I have been through a lot,
My soul, mind and body are in distraught
Now is the age of Coming Clean
On the world that has been so mean
One night in a car on my first date ever
I was locked in his car and was told about a certain endeavor
No one could hear me scream or hear my cries of help
The cries were loud, pitiful and full hate
The monster holding me hostage was acting on ****
That was the night I learned of trust
The night I learned about heartache was the roughest of rough
my boyfriend of six months said enough is enough
Christmas Day turned to my worst nightmare
of feeling alone, used and unwanted
I thought it could have gone better
but no. I was given a Dear Jane letter
He handed it to me with a smile that was hiding a lie
the reason he did it? He wanted to see me cry.
May 30, 2014
May 30, 2014 at 5:26 PM UTC
I have you to talk to but not to hold
This distance between us makes my heart feel cold
The constant I love yous and you are mine
Reassures me that everything is fine
The continuous thought of you not here
Brings out my biggest fear
To lose you again and not know why
To not think about is hard to try
I always prayed to find someone like you
God brought us together out of the blue
You are everything I ever want and need
And my soul you have freed
The person who was locked inside
You let out with one big stride
I love you boo bear, I mean what I say
And that love for you will never stray
Feb 17, 2013
Feb 17, 2013 at 8:54 AM UTC
A call I thought I'd never receive
You actually wanting me
I prayed so hard to be with you
Now all my prayers have come true
The slightest touch made you jump
Your face turned red your heart a thump
You looked at me and smiled so kind
To another world went my mind
Your bare skin so soft to touch
A hold of you I did clutch
I kissed your arms, back, chest and legs
Your moans and squirms were types of begs
Our bodies entwined felt so good
We were doing just what we should
As things intensified you started to grab
The sheets
Pillows
And anything that you could nab
Your body tightened in every way
With ever tickle and touch your body would sway
The music playing was so soft and sweet
My hands danced across your body every beat
As you got weaker your noises got stronger
You resisting your twitches were no longer
A tickle, tickle and a tickle more
You were not ready for the surprise in store
You were shocked and so was I
You cried out and you were not shy
When you moaned out I moaned too
And I knew that was my que
The song that was playing was a favorite of mine
That's when I knew that it was time
You were patient and held on tight
A fickle on point and even a bite
Toes were curled and were cold
In that moment our souls did mold
Your eyes rolled back with a sense of delight
You tried and tried but couldn't fight
A gasp, gasp, gasp for air
I held you close so you knew I did care
I held you close as close could get
I did not want this perfect night to quit
The man who held me tight with all his might
Made me free as a bird on that night
Jan 13, 2013
Jan 13, 2013 at 2:43 PM UTC
My heart is fragile and will break
A chance on you I'll have to take
The future is coming so don't look back
But in our love you can not lack
You must try and in return
Your feelings inside with start to churn
Love is not expected it is earned
And a life lesson has been learned
To me you're more than just a man
And you can do what no one else can
When you smile at me just know
My feelings for you start to grow
You make me laugh day and night
That is when I know our relationship is just right
Jan 11, 2013
Jan 11, 2013 at 7:58 PM UTC
I want to find my place someday
In a land far, far away
Beyond my little town of nothing new
To suddenly find a love true
Life can be evil and life can be good
To let us live and do as we should
We want to be perfect in every eye
We are working while life flies by
Just take a moment to breathe and you'll see
You can be anything you want to be
Just get the courage and you can soar
To a land that all you want is more
Jan 11, 2013
Jan 11, 2013 at 10:54 AM UTC
You make me upset and you make me cry
and scream at me like I didn't try
I work and work till my finger bleed
but somehow it never matches what you need
I am more than what you think
A teen being pushed to the brink
I never wanted to let you down
But somehow a smile turns to a frown
I am always happy and full of joy
But somehow I think you wanted a boy
A girl who loves her father so much
A love that no other boy can touch
You taught me all I needed to know
And when I look back you helped me grow
My wisdom
My pride
and all that I am
Daddy, I love you just understand
You will always be my favorite man
Jan 9, 2013
Jan 9, 2013 at 7:47 PM UTC
It felt good and it felt right
You holding on to me so tight
You were scared to death, I know
On the outside it did not show
You were strong and you were brave
And like children we would misbehave
Our time together meant so much
That when you left I had no crutch
Sitting here all alone
Makes me wish that you were home
Being gone 4 months from me
Gave me the option to be free
Since you have not been home
It gave me time to be on my own
To learn and do as I please
Made me aware of life's miseries
But what you did to me when you left
Was harsh and cruel, not heartfelt.
Jan 9, 2013
Jan 9, 2013 at 4:46 PM UTC
At first we were strangers
But then we connected
A friend I have found that has effected
My heart
My soul
My life
And world
To me you are more than just a girl
You've become my guiding light
To always show me wrong from right
And even with our ups and downs
I know that you will always be around
In less than a year we will part
And you will always be in my heart
You are a sister and a best friend to me
And the best part is you will never leave.
Jan 8, 2013
Jan 8, 2013 at 8:39 PM UTC
Although we may be part
Somehow you never leave my heart
Together for so long
It's hard to wrap my head around that your gone
All the smiles and laughter we created
Over time it looks like they have faded
I loved you once, I loved you twice
But somehow it wasn't enough
To know that you were always there
You not being here is hard to bare
So when you think you've had too much
Know that I gave you my all but it wasn't enough.
Jan 8, 2013
Jan 8, 2013 at 8:25 PM UTC
At first we were nervous,
but then were calm
I trusted you for the time being,
but then you were gone
My hopes were so high
and you failed to reach
This feeling inside,
I couldn't delete
You were always there to have and to hold,
but since that day we will not grow old
You've moved on and so have I,
I now have someone to stay beside
Even though you went away,
the memories we've had will always stay.
Jan 8, 2013
Jan 8, 2013 at 6:46 PM UTC