jesse-belcher
American
“All that is gold does not glitter, / Not all those who wander are lost; / The old that is strong does not wither, / Deep roots are not reached by the frost. / / From the ashes a fire shall be woken, / A light from the shadows shall spring; / Renewed shall be blade that was broken, / The crownless again shall be king.”
So this is it
I said "goodbye"
To this ever changing
chapter of my life
You never knew all of me
You never took time.
Too busy with your facebook status
Never seeing the signs.
I moved on and
it feels so right.
But fear grips me
and squeezes, "Oh so tight!
Afraid of love
and all it's about.
Wanting to open up,
but so full of doubt.
Free fall down into the unknown
give you my heart and relinquish my soul
it's best for what life shall bestow
so do I take a big step in the unknown?
Never look back, for this is the choice
don't question myself, and keep my mind poised
take a look up, thank God and rejoice
because the truth is, I know I made the right choice
So I follow the path and forget the past
this devotion and emotion, I'll make sure it lasts
with passion so wide and a love so vast
pain and sadness will be things of the past.
I fear to fall, yet I wish for love...
Nay, I desire love.
A love that will have the arms crafted of the strongest stone,
A love that shall have both of us in a deep utter fall.
A love that requires both of us to make it true,
A love for the ages, a love meant for me and you.
So don't give up on me because of my fear,
One day I'll be open and everything will be so clear.
I'll open my heart and let her in,
and give her my love... Again and again.
May 29, 2014
May 29, 2014 at 10:21 PM UTC
I have to believe in the fairy tale world,
isn't that what we seek?
to find that one special pearl.
A pear, so majestic 'it glows at your gaze,
It uncovers all the fear and doubt:
It sheds light on broken days.
I have to know there is more to me than this.
I have to believe somewhere that my life
will open with just that kiss..
'Passion and love'
'pounding of my heart'
'knowing with all my soul'
"you are my angel never to depart"
My eye's shining like a comet falling in the night,
Seeing the world how it should be; kind and loving, humble and right.
I have to believe that true happiness is there to be found.
I'm trying to find it
Deep down inside me; not a peep, not even a sound.
so I write my story, and believe it's there,
The perfect story, the perfect set, the perfect pair.
I wonder about it,
if that love I could ever feel.
I have to believe it's there,
I have to know it's real..
I have to have hope,
that I am more than this.
more than someone's fairy tale
more than someone's heart felt kiss..
Nov 20, 2013
Nov 20, 2013 at 6:13 PM UTC
You know them nights, when so much is on your mind and you don't know where to begin.
You start to type, then back space again and again.
The words don't flow, the thought is gone.
The next sentence is wrote, but it just feels wrong.
You can stare at the screen and look for hours.
Type a hundred words, yet their not ripe, much more sour.
I'm having that night, with this aggravation and pain.
Even though the last week, was smiles and gain.
The last couple days and nights has ripped through my mind and body.
My body feels under a earthquake and my mind is a tsunami.
Quitting the benzo's and antidepressants that started 3 1/2 years ago
Going cold turkey, I wasn't going to wing it and just go slow.
At a point in your life, you will sometimes make rash decisions.
It can lead you into a tranquility, or it can cut you...incision after incision.
The beginning of the week, I found peace and that tranquility.
As I longed for better and wanted rid of the iniquity.
I began to read the bible and put faith in it's print.
and now I feel under attack, a demon the Devil has sent.
But that's not the case, I chose this myself.
I can beat this, write about it, then put it on a shelf.
My mind is too muddled to go on much more,
My body is shaking, and my fingers are sore.
This shall pass, as God will get me through.
Then I will be back, to bore some of you.
I long for a natural sleep not medically induced.
For it's been 13 years, that's when the pills happened. I began to use.
Just for sleep not to get high.
Just for dreams: standing on a mountain side.
So goodnight, and may you dream the most wonderful dream.
May you feel the embrace of the moonlight beam.
Before you drift off and dance with your love beside the sea.
Will you say a prayer? So something beautiful comes to me.
GOODNIGHT AND MAY YOUR DREAMS BE PERFECT.
Sep 18, 2013
Sep 18, 2013 at 1:33 AM UTC
All I can say today is focus on your priorities,
but take things in stride.
Make decisions, not excuses.
Live one moment at a time.
Count your blessings, not your troubles.
Let the wrong things go.
Look for lessons in unforeseen obstacles.
Ask for help.
Give as much as you take.
Make time for those who matter.
Laugh when you can.
Cry when you need to.
And always stay true to your values.
Sep 10, 2013
Sep 10, 2013 at 2:58 PM UTC
Your hands held me gently from the day I took my first breath.
Your hands helped to guide me as I took my first step.
Your hands held me close when the tears would start to fall.
Your hands were quick to show me that you would take care of it all.
Your hands were there to brush my hair, or rub it real slow
Your hands were often there to comfort the hurts that didn't always show.
Your hands helped hold the stars in place, and encouraged me to reach.
Your hands clapped and cheered when I had a star and held it within length.
Your hands would also push me, though not down or in harms way.
Your hands would punctuate the words, just do what I say.
Your hands sometimes had to discipline, to help bend this young tree.
Your hands would shape and mold me into all she knew I could be.
Your hands are now twisting with age and years of work,
Your hand now needs my gentle touch to rub away the hurt.
Your hands are more beautiful than anything can be.
Your hands are the reason, the reason I am me.
Aug 22, 2013
Aug 22, 2013 at 12:10 PM UTC
Keep changing your mind,
like clouds in the sky.
Love me when you're high,
leave me when you cry.
I know it all
takes time,
like rivers running dry
when the suns too bright.
So long this is good bye,
may we meet again in another life.
Like strangers passing by
may we see clearly in another light.
Keep dodging lies,
like a thief in the night.
The sun will arise,
and expose all the lies.
So why deny,
that you and I
lead different lives.
Rivers from your eyes,
can't change my mind.
So long, this is Goodbye,
may we meet again in another life.
Like strangers passing by,
may we see clearly in a different light.
Aug 20, 2013
Aug 20, 2013 at 10:21 AM UTC
She stands with her hands together,
and her head down.
She thinks of the past day,
and all the sadness that was around.
First her mother who died when she was so young,
now her father, from the cancer in his lungs.
Just becoming single she feels so alone,
now everyone she loved seems to be gone.
Popular she may be,
they surround her; honey to a bee.
lost and scared,
tired and teared,
nerves on edge,
broken pledge.
They promised her they'd be there through it all,
now anger fills her heart, and she screams a heartbroken call.
She screams so loud the animal all flee,
every single bird flew out from every tree.
Suddenly a breeze hits her in the face,
and it seems like a whisper of beautiful grace.
A whisper in the wind,
that seems to calm everything that lies within.
Another wind gust and definitely a voice.
She strains trying to hear and it sounds like the word choice.
She pleads for more, but no more wind came.
It figures she thought, now I'm insane.
Supposedly going to stay at her aunts,
she takes the long way and thinks about the wind taunts.
Always believing in God she just ponders the wind,
then out of nowhere it comes again.
Patience my child you have been so brave,
you are not alone and we are not buried in a grave.
This place is more than what you ever could have dreamed,
Know that we will be with you even though we can't be seen.
Go forth my child and don't dwell on us.
Don't be angry with God, don't dwell and fuss.
The wind dying down gave ten more words to Jo,
We will always love you we hope that you know.
She stood out side for hours everyday praying for whispers in the wind,
waiting for anything more her parents could send.
As times went on she sometimes felt the wind and heard a voice,
Love you, patience, faith, so proud, it's your choice.
The girl accomplished her goals, well most it seems
she got into Stanford, got a masters, and that was her biggest dream.
She fell in love and the man was the kindest and best God could send,
but every time she felt the air, she would stop and listen for whispers in the wind.
Aug 19, 2013
Aug 19, 2013 at 1:14 PM UTC
I thought it perfect when I heard you was coming..
I felt the sun beaming down and my heart started burning.
Burning for joy, excitement and all you'd be,
burning for the love I know I could bring.
Weeks went by and we searched for your name.
Oh my baby! we saw plenty, and our opinions' wasn't the same.
How excited, so excited I admit I was.
You was gonna give somewhere else to pour all my love.
I had so much to give to you, and you gave me reason for hope.
I wanted to thank God with a letter sealed in a envelope.
I know he knows all about me,
but see my baby I'm writer and I wanted him to see.
See the words and feel the emotions that filled my soul.
So many words and emotions in the largest bowl.
Thank you, praise, joy, pleasure, so many words I wanted to say.
Then came the news on that dreadful heart breaking day.
I guess God needed another angel in heaven to be with him.
I guess he wanted something so pure, that this world they wasn't meant within.
Oh God how I tried to be strong,
But I was angry, because this was just wrong.
In my arms you was supposed to be,
in my life you held a magic key.
That key to my heart that now resides in your little hand.
When you see me baby girl, put in my chest and see all that I am.
I am a father who dreams of what you look like.
I am a father who hopes down here I can do right.
Just to get to you, and kiss your little cheek,
God I beg of you, for my heart just one little peek.
Please lord show me I'm not angry anymore.
Just a picture of her face, so in my mind and heart I can store.
I bet you're so beautiful that If you asked Jesus he would show,
this heart broken father who only wants to know.
How you look, the color of your eyes and your hair,
just a glimpse maybe a piece of my heart can be repaired.
Tell your brother I haven't forgotten him.
For this is for you and I'll write him again.
Find your great grandpa and grandma and tell them
YOUR grandma misses them so much.
Her heart's been broken and it just might break with the slightest touch.
Give them all our love my baby girl,
and we long to be with you in your magical world.
Aug 17, 2013
Aug 17, 2013 at 7:03 PM UTC
It's been years and yet she still crosses his mind.
His pivotal moments with her;' frozen in memories of time.
Everyday was a new day and maybe he could get her to see,
this boy who seemed so shy, always kinda behind a tree.
He watched her up close and from a distance,
they knew each other well, she knew his existence.
What she didn't know was the boy's heart,
even though she held it all from the start.
The moment he saw her his first day of school,
to seeing her in the summer everyday at the pool.
Why couldn't he speak to her the way he wanted,
for truly they were friends and very close,
they could talk all day, but his love he couldn't expose.
So the years kept going on like they do,
and still too shy she never truly knew.
This boy never had met one quite like this;
so beautiful, so smart, and surprisingly funny.
She seemed to be the Angel god was granting,
but when he tried to tell her his feelings', his mind started running.
Devastated he got when he heard she was soon to marry,
his heart felt so heavy, so heavy just to carry.
He couldn't go and watch her confess her vow,
he just stayed home and cried and thought what now.
For a long time the boy knew she was the one,
and he let it slip and now she was gone.
He tried and tried with other girls,
but none made his heart dance; dance and twirl.
He would've given all just for a kiss,
for he knew she would be the best, the one meant not to miss.
But he lost that chance, cause his love he couldn't expose.
Trapped in silence, his heart felt words never arose.
So beautiful she was, like the leaves in the fall,
she could make time stand still, and if walking you'd come to a stall.
Just to see her beauty seemed like a curse, like a leaf falling from a tree
Cause God shouldn't let a Angel go out of heaven and just leave.
So many chances the boy had to confess his heart,
but when he was ready to; his words fell apart.
Now he lives with the memories and cracks through the seams,
because every now again he see's her in his dreams.
Many years later the boy came to find out,
that the girl liked him and waited throughout.
But he never took the chance being too shy,
and who knows what they lost; in the moments of time.
Both their lives' could be so different from what it is,
husband, wife, son or daughter who knows, but it wouldn't be this.
He often wonders if she thinks of him.
If he's happy, sad, or curious if he has kids.
Every time he thinks of her he ends it with a sigh,
Cause what would've happened if he wouldn't have been so shy.
Maybe soul mates if you believe in that stuff,
He just hopes she's happy, and the man she's with gives her enough.
Enough love and respect the boy knows she deserves,
God if only he hadn't been so reserved.
Aug 15, 2013
Aug 15, 2013 at 7:02 PM UTC
Sometimes she smiles with a broken heart.
Sometimes she is with you, but yet she's far apart.
Sometimes she's angry at the life she chose.
Sometimes she wonders of all the other choices that arose.
What if she chose this road? would life be better,
She will never know, but she misses the words he use to put in a letter.
Confessing his unrelenting love,
God, how it made her feel as pretty as flying dove.
Sometimes she thinks she should just let go.
because this man is not the man she use to know.
Sometimes she gets angry at God, 'cause she expected more.
Because the strain on her life is more than she can afford.
Sometimes the lies are too much to take,
for he doesn't seem to care what's at stake.
She wants to fight for this man,
and goes above and beyond.
But what's the point,
for he hardly responds.
Sometimes she thinks maybe all will get better,
and in each others' eyes: get lost together.
She sometimes thinks he's too far away,
sometimes she thinks, maybe it's time to pray.
Sometimes she thinks if she's patient til the end,
that sooner or later her Angel will be him again...
Aug 12, 2013
Aug 12, 2013 at 7:44 PM UTC