jeremy-rascon - Hello Poetry

Who put me here To suffer eternally Temporary body But the expanse of the mind Stretches beyond reality Time is constructed by society When it crumbles No change will be recorded. But will thoughts go on Or do they die with me. How did I get here Doubts of a creator My ancestors swam So why am I drowning right now A product of millions of years of evolution Yet my brain is still chemically imbalanced If it's survival of the fittest I am the weakest link Darwin's finches can't explain the human brain I was born to die like the rest of humanity. Why am I here Is it karma for a past life Is death what I want truly or just to stop feeling for awhile Is there a difference? Because I don't feel like there is one Who would miss me? In the grand scheme of the universe.. No one. I'm free of guilt The stars tell me it's an earthly emotion anyways.

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Feb 20, 2021

Feb 20, 2021 at 3:10 AM UTC

Stars Say

Who put me here To suffer eternally Temporary body But the expanse of the mind Stretches beyond reality Time is constructed by society When it crumbles No change will be recorded. But will thoughts go on Or do they die with me. How did I get here Doubts of a creator My ancestors swam So why am I drowning right now A product of millions of years of evolution Yet my brain is still chemically imbalanced If it's survival of the fittest I am the weakest link Darwin's finches can't explain the human brain I was born to die like the rest of humanity. Why am I here Is it karma for a past life Is death what I want truly or just to stop feeling for awhile Is there a difference? Because I don't feel like there is one Who would miss me? In the grand scheme of the universe.. No one. I'm free of guilt The stars tell me it's an earthly emotion anyways.

30

Am I in love Again Am I though really Again Don't I ever learn That love doesn't mean Infatuated with someone That I am only living in a dysfunctional cycle Of constant painful emotions Forever getting over the jealousy Again.. That I am not what they want And that's okay I should be okay with that Why do I fight so hard to be the one It never works out that I am the one I am the one I guess The one that is temporary On the path to the rest of their lives And I should be content to see them at their best And wish them well I am not what they want And that's okay I'm in love again My brain says My heart pounds in morse code Full stop. Future me I am so sorry For the pain I caused you Cry as much as you want for lost "love" Another is on the way. Again

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Feb 19, 2021

Feb 19, 2021 at 3:09 AM UTC

Again.

Am I in love Again Am I though really Again Don't I ever learn That love doesn't mean Infatuated with someone That I am only living in a dysfunctional cycle Of constant painful emotions Forever getting over the jealousy Again.. That I am not what they want And that's okay I should be okay with that Why do I fight so hard to be the one It never works out that I am the one I am the one I guess The one that is temporary On the path to the rest of their lives And I should be content to see them at their best And wish them well I am not what they want And that's okay I'm in love again My brain says My heart pounds in morse code Full stop. Future me I am so sorry For the pain I caused you Cry as much as you want for lost "love" Another is on the way. Again

32

My stresses exist in the nighttime like stars in the sky, So many and unconsciously I battle them Never able to win I am overpowered I wake up beat and ****** with Teeth clenched too tight My jaw aches And my eyes refuse to open I'm too tired and too old to fight every night Yet the bell rings as soon as I fall asleep How do I prepare for the exact anxieties My brain sets up for me, All of them reigning champions Undefeated And gloating I'll never touch the belt Because even good dreams Leave me to wake in the real world. I have to fight the day too. I can't wait to retire.

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Feb 19, 2021

Feb 19, 2021 at 3:05 AM UTC

Untouchable Victory

My stresses exist in the nighttime like stars in the sky, So many and unconsciously I battle them Never able to win I am overpowered I wake up beat and ****** with Teeth clenched too tight My jaw aches And my eyes refuse to open I'm too tired and too old to fight every night Yet the bell rings as soon as I fall asleep How do I prepare for the exact anxieties My brain sets up for me, All of them reigning champions Undefeated And gloating I'll never touch the belt Because even good dreams Leave me to wake in the real world. I have to fight the day too. I can't wait to retire.

20

Some days I wake up Mind torn from stress dreams And no desire to breakdown On campus. So I skip class. Trapped in my mental jailcell I dissect my compulsive thoughts Only to see they stitched Themselves back together And are resistant to leave. On days I can grasp and hold my will I stew in class Noticing my classmates Who speak louder than I do, Who answer questions more eloquently, And speak science fluently, I am left to boil in my Lack of voice, skill, and knowledge. At the end of my first class I am already overdone, A husk goes to the remaining classes For me. On days I wake up Already overwhelmed I skip class To avoid Meltdown Fighting fire with Magma, this technique is purely self-destructive. And I know it. Pressure builds like a volatile volcano… I FAIL my classes and ERUPT The peak that is my self esteem Shattered by emails from professors, The lava oozes down the slopes of Mt. Me “Maybe I don’t Belong Here” Starts the a nearby tsunami forming Underneath my scalp It gathers speed and force. It decimates the cerebrum. I have to rebuild... This land is recycled often Tremors with magnitudes that match My GPA Keep me vigilant and mindful that collapse is part Of my nature The complex societies that are rebuilt within my mind always thrive ….at the beginning of next semester.

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Oct 26, 2019

Oct 26, 2019 at 10:15 PM UTC

Failing

Some days I wake up Mind torn from stress dreams And no desire to breakdown On campus. So I skip class. Trapped in my mental jailcell I dissect my compulsive thoughts Only to see they stitched Themselves back together And are resistant to leave. On days I can grasp and hold my will I stew in class Noticing my classmates Who speak louder than I do, Who answer questions more eloquently, And speak science fluently, I am left to boil in my Lack of voice, skill, and knowledge. At the end of my first class I am already overdone, A husk goes to the remaining classes For me. On days I wake up Already overwhelmed I skip class To avoid Meltdown Fighting fire with Magma, this technique is purely self-destructive. And I know it. Pressure builds like a volatile volcano… I FAIL my classes and ERUPT The peak that is my self esteem Shattered by emails from professors, The lava oozes down the slopes of Mt. Me “Maybe I don’t Belong Here” Starts the a nearby tsunami forming Underneath my scalp It gathers speed and force. It decimates the cerebrum. I have to rebuild... This land is recycled often Tremors with magnitudes that match My GPA Keep me vigilant and mindful that collapse is part Of my nature The complex societies that are rebuilt within my mind always thrive ….at the beginning of next semester.

51

My mom taught me to clean the beans seemingly hundreds all on the counter, a delicious rain as they fall. Find the "Bad" ones the rocks, the ugly, I am power, I decide, just for awhile. Cleaning beans meant my mom would make my favorites stuffed sopapillas, tostadas, the timeless and classic bean and cheese burrito. The beans take all **** day to cook... they taught me Patience.

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Sep 23, 2019

Sep 23, 2019 at 10:37 PM UTC

Beans

My mom taught me to clean the beans seemingly hundreds all on the counter, a delicious rain as they fall. Find the "Bad" ones the rocks, the ugly, I am power, I decide, just for awhile. Cleaning beans meant my mom would make my favorites stuffed sopapillas, tostadas, the timeless and classic bean and cheese burrito. The beans take all **** day to cook... they taught me Patience.

19

I destroyed a world... In one night One that I helped build. I invaded the surface and dug, Hoping to find something precious, To satisfy my greed & lust. Without thinking.. Now it's cracked and scarred.. I destroyed a world that meant everything to me.. For nothing but an urge I thought I had. I wronged an oasis that kept me from Dying of dehydration, In the droughts of my life... If I believed in heaven & hell, I would say my soul is being dragged downwards, And that's why I feel so low.. But I know better. Reality is far worse. I watch from orbit as the world is mended, Admiring it's strength and beauty... I know. I can never return there. So I drift through emptiness Content, finds me in the knowledge that the world will thrive... Without me.

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Aug 31, 2018

Aug 31, 2018 at 10:34 AM UTC

World Destroyer

I destroyed a world... In one night One that I helped build. I invaded the surface and dug, Hoping to find something precious, To satisfy my greed & lust. Without thinking.. Now it's cracked and scarred.. I destroyed a world that meant everything to me.. For nothing but an urge I thought I had. I wronged an oasis that kept me from Dying of dehydration, In the droughts of my life... If I believed in heaven & hell, I would say my soul is being dragged downwards, And that's why I feel so low.. But I know better. Reality is far worse. I watch from orbit as the world is mended, Admiring it's strength and beauty... I know. I can never return there. So I drift through emptiness Content, finds me in the knowledge that the world will thrive... Without me.

24

You are a storm. Off in the distance.. I can see the dark brooding clouds The energetic flashes of lightning I can see the veil of rain.. But you are off in the distance.. I can't hear the crack of thunder or feel it's mighty rumble beneath my bare feet.. I can't smell the rain as it hits the hot earth.. I long for the monsoon in my dry land.. But the winds take you elsewhere You are a storm. A brutish force of nature Beautiful in your chaos.. Your lightning may strike, You can create fire. Your rains may flood, You can carve rivers. But always.. Life thrives in the aftermath of your destruction. You are an artist. And I admire from the distance.

0

Mar 18, 2018

Mar 18, 2018 at 1:44 AM UTC

Storm

You are a storm. Off in the distance.. I can see the dark brooding clouds The energetic flashes of lightning I can see the veil of rain.. But you are off in the distance.. I can't hear the crack of thunder or feel it's mighty rumble beneath my bare feet.. I can't smell the rain as it hits the hot earth.. I long for the monsoon in my dry land.. But the winds take you elsewhere You are a storm. A brutish force of nature Beautiful in your chaos.. Your lightning may strike, You can create fire. Your rains may flood, You can carve rivers. But always.. Life thrives in the aftermath of your destruction. You are an artist. And I admire from the distance.

21

We like to be happy, but it's when we are lost, miserable and enduring that ravenous unrelenting pain that we mature. Its in those, the most challenging moments of life, that create monsters and gods.

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Aug 14, 2016

Aug 14, 2016 at 10:49 AM UTC

Monsters And Gods

We like to be happy, but it's when we are lost, miserable and enduring that ravenous unrelenting pain that we mature. Its in those, the most challenging moments of life, that create monsters and gods.

1

The endless sorrows, They sought and Found me here, At what I call home . When I cannot sleep, When I cannot dream, Everything seems wrong. I glance around and view its truth I don't belong here I whisper Take me away I call out Into the darkness The windows are tinted from eons of collected dust and dirt, The low brown light that seeps through sets the tone, My vision is almost gone, I wipe and wipe But the glass is stained. The entire house is in a similar state. Echoes speak to me in the hallway It's not the house that's alive It's been dead for years I am trapped in it's carcass

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Aug 14, 2016

Aug 14, 2016 at 3:37 AM UTC

House Not Home

The endless sorrows, They sought and Found me here, At what I call home . When I cannot sleep, When I cannot dream, Everything seems wrong. I glance around and view its truth I don't belong here I whisper Take me away I call out Into the darkness The windows are tinted from eons of collected dust and dirt, The low brown light that seeps through sets the tone, My vision is almost gone, I wipe and wipe But the glass is stained. The entire house is in a similar state. Echoes speak to me in the hallway It's not the house that's alive It's been dead for years I am trapped in it's carcass

22

What am I if not human? Am I monster Who roams the empty city streets In search for love to devour And spit back the bones Defiler of young dreams Wrecker of lives Am I a monster That preys on the weak One for every day My primal urges Urge me to take part in these Biological Natural Irresistible Wants and needs, Am I a monster because I suppress them , Or am I human?

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Aug 13, 2016

Aug 13, 2016 at 11:14 AM UTC

What Am I

What am I if not human? Am I monster Who roams the empty city streets In search for love to devour And spit back the bones Defiler of young dreams Wrecker of lives Am I a monster That preys on the weak One for every day My primal urges Urge me to take part in these Biological Natural Irresistible Wants and needs, Am I a monster because I suppress them , Or am I human?

18