jeremiahvallar - Hello Poetry

4 May at 4:36 AM i miss you. these are the words i say out loud to my room, almost everyday for the last year; as if the words could actually conjure you. That they’d bring you here like you promised to be that day after Valentine’s. That suddenly I’d find you ringing the doorbell to see me. That you’d notice yours is the only photo in my room, framed on my nightstand. That you’d ask, if those three words ever crossed my mind when it came into view.

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May 10, 2021

May 10, 2021 at 12:49 PM UTC

i miss you.

4 May at 4:36 AM i miss you. these are the words i say out loud to my room, almost everyday for the last year; as if the words could actually conjure you. That they’d bring you here like you promised to be that day after Valentine’s. That suddenly I’d find you ringing the doorbell to see me. That you’d notice yours is the only photo in my room, framed on my nightstand. That you’d ask, if those three words ever crossed my mind when it came into view.

4

Imagine wandering in a desert, a wilderness Nothing, for miles, but sand and dryness The sky is clear and the sun shines harshly Its bright glare momentarily blinds me To think, I’ve been walking around here For a year, a year of tears That refused to fall The heat had made my tear ducts dull Tears would not come to my eyes No matter how hard I tried The dry wind is coarse against my skin My feet in sand as it has for so long been These dunes are a place of loneliness and thirst You think about it and your mind is immersed In the discomfort you feel From the tips of your hair, to the bottom of your heel The heat is a constant numbing presence The effect on your feeling is dense Your mind searches for safety Yet all your senses are hazy Your eyes wander, searching for relief in the sandy sea Yet all your ears hear are a timpani of silence, deafening My mind is barely fending Off fears of my impending demise My body continues to agonize The scorching sun digging through my scalp It took so much not to pull my hair out and scream for help For a moment, my eyes focus And I see you, A mirage in the desert I ran to you to quench my thirst My insides screamed And finally, everything seemed Fine. I had someone with me, who’d face With me the world and all its haste The corner of my lips pulled up for a smile The first one I had in many miles My mouth could speak, shout and sing Again, I found my strength returning Then, just like I thought you might, You vanished, right out of my sight I could no longer enjoy being with you From my hands, you slipped through With my new strength All I did was cry with heaving breath I knew I should go on But all I felt was how much hotter it was under the sun

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Feb 3, 2020

Feb 3, 2020 at 7:35 AM UTC

Mirage

Imagine wandering in a desert, a wilderness Nothing, for miles, but sand and dryness The sky is clear and the sun shines harshly Its bright glare momentarily blinds me To think, I’ve been walking around here For a year, a year of tears That refused to fall The heat had made my tear ducts dull Tears would not come to my eyes No matter how hard I tried The dry wind is coarse against my skin My feet in sand as it has for so long been These dunes are a place of loneliness and thirst You think about it and your mind is immersed In the discomfort you feel From the tips of your hair, to the bottom of your heel The heat is a constant numbing presence The effect on your feeling is dense Your mind searches for safety Yet all your senses are hazy Your eyes wander, searching for relief in the sandy sea Yet all your ears hear are a timpani of silence, deafening My mind is barely fending Off fears of my impending demise My body continues to agonize The scorching sun digging through my scalp It took so much not to pull my hair out and scream for help For a moment, my eyes focus And I see you, A mirage in the desert I ran to you to quench my thirst My insides screamed And finally, everything seemed Fine. I had someone with me, who’d face With me the world and all its haste The corner of my lips pulled up for a smile The first one I had in many miles My mouth could speak, shout and sing Again, I found my strength returning Then, just like I thought you might, You vanished, right out of my sight I could no longer enjoy being with you From my hands, you slipped through With my new strength All I did was cry with heaving breath I knew I should go on But all I felt was how much hotter it was under the sun

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Distance that you ask for Is like a closed door That you suddenly place I can no longer see your face You always had walls surrounding you I knew there was a divide between our rooms But before the door was built and closed Between your walls I felt I could osmose Now, the door is only closed, not locked But you have requested that I not Turn the **** and close the gap Or ask to cross by knocking and lightly tap From what I hear, All other entrances, except mine, are clear Regular sounds of laughter But especially then, I am not welcome to enter When nothing else is to be done, I stare at the door, reminiscing on times that were fun The sound of your voice calling from the other side Telling me you want us to together spend more time As I remember, I can’t help but stare At the symbol of the divide now placed there Middle of the wall, central in my sight Presence very felt, as if there’s a spotlight Shining on it, its bright glare Making me think about it, more than my mind can bear I’m sat on the floor, back against the wall The door’s shadow looms over me, standing tall Sometimes, you leave the door ajar It doesn’t make you feel any less far I only hear from or respond to you When you need me to give or do I hope you understand I use every fiber Of my being to grant what you desire I respect your request While I am still ready to act upon your behest I only hope one day you unlock and remove That symbol of restraint and ultimately disprove My fear of this arrangement, Specifically it being permanent You would cross the divide, Greeting me with a smile Asking to catch up with your friend Telling me you missed me and you’d like to do it again

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Nov 3, 2019

Nov 3, 2019 at 1:35 PM UTC

A Closed Door

Distance that you ask for Is like a closed door That you suddenly place I can no longer see your face You always had walls surrounding you I knew there was a divide between our rooms But before the door was built and closed Between your walls I felt I could osmose Now, the door is only closed, not locked But you have requested that I not Turn the **** and close the gap Or ask to cross by knocking and lightly tap From what I hear, All other entrances, except mine, are clear Regular sounds of laughter But especially then, I am not welcome to enter When nothing else is to be done, I stare at the door, reminiscing on times that were fun The sound of your voice calling from the other side Telling me you want us to together spend more time As I remember, I can’t help but stare At the symbol of the divide now placed there Middle of the wall, central in my sight Presence very felt, as if there’s a spotlight Shining on it, its bright glare Making me think about it, more than my mind can bear I’m sat on the floor, back against the wall The door’s shadow looms over me, standing tall Sometimes, you leave the door ajar It doesn’t make you feel any less far I only hear from or respond to you When you need me to give or do I hope you understand I use every fiber Of my being to grant what you desire I respect your request While I am still ready to act upon your behest I only hope one day you unlock and remove That symbol of restraint and ultimately disprove My fear of this arrangement, Specifically it being permanent You would cross the divide, Greeting me with a smile Asking to catch up with your friend Telling me you missed me and you’d like to do it again

44

When I met you You seemed just like anyone We ate together And we had fun I would see you around Every once in a while We'd talk casually And I would just smile We would talk about Things from moods to books From the way I sing To the way your hair looks But after a while I realized you were different You weren't the type of person I'd usually call a close friend You joked a lot And you could read me well So I felt I could be myself Without my shell Lines had to be drawn Boundaries had to be set Masks had to be worn But that all changed when we met My facade was broken And I was more open I could tell you when I was afraid Or when my heart was kinda broken So I talked to you everyday Without my knowing I enjoyed your banter And the laughter you'd bring I savored every moment From the messages to the late night calls When we were eating at fairs And when we had weekends at the mall So I say, "Thank you for all the moments I cherish." Every memory I hold dear Each of our conversations I know we'll still be friends after so many years.

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Oct 26, 2019

Oct 26, 2019 at 2:21 AM UTC

Thoughts on Friendship

When I met you You seemed just like anyone We ate together And we had fun I would see you around Every once in a while We'd talk casually And I would just smile We would talk about Things from moods to books From the way I sing To the way your hair looks But after a while I realized you were different You weren't the type of person I'd usually call a close friend You joked a lot And you could read me well So I felt I could be myself Without my shell Lines had to be drawn Boundaries had to be set Masks had to be worn But that all changed when we met My facade was broken And I was more open I could tell you when I was afraid Or when my heart was kinda broken So I talked to you everyday Without my knowing I enjoyed your banter And the laughter you'd bring I savored every moment From the messages to the late night calls When we were eating at fairs And when we had weekends at the mall So I say, "Thank you for all the moments I cherish." Every memory I hold dear Each of our conversations I know we'll still be friends after so many years.

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