jay-cleeve
Peterborough
Nature loving single father who only lives for his daughters laughter / Pondering on through life's disaster / Searching for a real love forever after / I'm just me and I don't give off a fake persona of no reality / I'm just surviving unguided in a world full of wicked wonderful disguises
Oh ****** hair on one side of my face why does thou grow in such an unusual place
For one side is swirly
The other is straight
I've never heard of a bisexual face
Yes fate decides I must look like a ****
who rolled in shaved ***** covered in pritt stick
So again I ask why is one cheek swirly and the other is straight
I look like something a blind kid tried to create
Jun 17, 2019
Jun 17, 2019 at 8:08 AM UTC
I wish I could put all my wrongs to right
Then I might get a little wink at night
But that would take twenty thousand lives
I've only one to live and no desire to take more
just existing for the people that believe in me
Breathing for the little girl that see's and receives what's true in me
Call me selfish
Call me a shame
I wouldn't take one single word your saying in vain
I know what I've done and I know what can't be undone
I'm not bad
I'm not evil
I'm an unstoppable force of the "people"
And if I'm not im unique so not equal
Not purposely but natural selection
That I can look in a mirror and not see a human reflection
I've longed to see
I've longed to be
Well just normality
But only to temporally stay a part of me
For I'll never feel whole or content or have an easy taken breath
Always on edge never to rest
Thinking of how to live this world best
Mar 26, 2018
Mar 26, 2018 at 7:35 PM UTC
Infected with stare
As my eyes glare upon the reflection of the sun kissed river on the underside of the bridge
paterns and rainbows form on the 1888 cut stone like from a world unknown
Only in a certain hour and sun will the gaze beam reflect it's beauty deep underneath the masons masterpiece
Much unlike the underside of my own dark inside
Where rainbows neither grow or reside
But still I come in search of my own reflection
As yet I've found deflection under my bridge and in the water
but the water follows as said with my worry and fears flow with water under the bridge
Jan 11, 2018
Jan 11, 2018 at 7:22 AM UTC
Why am i even here
living my life in fucking fear
Looking for a better life
One with one less struggle and strife
How'd it all slip away
As i swear It was
only us yesterday
You where lying there with me
Dreaming of a future **** past symphony
Singing our praises
And how to set the stages
It was Blazes in hazes
of natural green fragrance
I gave you all to me
killed all the jealousy
I was afraid of me
Those pretty dreams just wernt to last
Love confused for control slipping through my grasp
And Something, somethings not right
I'm turning into something I don't really like
I've got to find myself whole
I've been searching for my soul
But it's so ******* hard when im the person I least know
The world's what we make it
Unfortunately I've made it **** for me and that's the kind of future I will always see
Jan 11, 2018
Jan 11, 2018 at 6:54 AM UTC
I'm never more at home then in the wild
and I struggle to see how it's just me that this comes to
the trees at my side the soil at my feet
while you all worry how to make ends meet
the rain on my face the Sun on my toes
while the government plots wars with friends and foes
open your eyes
See what is there for what it is
the more i see the less I wanna know
The less I see the more I long to learn
stuck in a world I don't understand
and I'm sure I'm not the first man
Most of you move on politely
forming part of modern society
well I'm sorry it's just not for me
It's not that I haven't tried to be
I just can't find that common familiarity
It's just not for me
stuck in a world that I shouldn't see
Take me back to the times of simplicity
I'm talking 10 to 20,000 BC
Where I'd survive just for family
Be a hunter gatherer
flint tool maker
no profit business or faker
no boss chasing to castrate ya
living free
clothed in deer hide taking just what I need to survive
pride that humans lost long ago
natures hurt but we won't let it go
**** and ruin until no waters flow
Trees and flowers don't grow
Not even a mouse or lion to show
to the unwillingly born children who don't know
Its us who did this.
Oct 20, 2017
Oct 20, 2017 at 7:44 AM UTC
Winters bloom
the dark ground snowdrops soon consume
It's like a different time zone
how I can lost in the frost on a pine cone
a beauty not bought and not often thought
the glistening on the braken
I'm hoping the fateful thaw will never happen
even if the frost takes the life of every sapling
this white is my paradise my heart and soul were born in ice
Nothing consumes my heart more than getting lost in the frost on a pine cone
Oct 2, 2017
Oct 2, 2017 at 12:45 PM UTC
Fearing four walls
three months of good behaviour doom
hoping it won't take my heart forever to consume for a crime I didnt commit only half of it I'll ever admit
for a lighter sentence
I'll go along with her inventions
the most spiteful unnecessary intentions
I didn't want trouble I didn't want time
now I'll find all that inside
It's not for sure but I've done the interview
Spoken by words of true
I didn't need a solicitor as did nothing illicit to her
now I wait for a call for caution
failing that a fateful letter through the door
and to court I will crawl
hopefully I can swerve this as I definitely didn't deserve this
judge me
put me under lock and key
It will be the end of innocence and me
you will see
Oct 2, 2017
Oct 2, 2017 at 12:11 PM UTC
Bombs fall, bombs fall
I fear this is a future for us all
For not much particular reason at all
For the time it takes for us to grow
For it all to end in seconds with a blow
Bombs fall, bombs fall
So another tyrant can rise and fall
He doesn't care of the blood spilt at all
Sitting on throne with propaganda pictures on his wall
Bombs fall, bombs fall
This wasn't meant to be the will of men at all
Pawns in chess and nothing less or more
Waiting for the bomb to fall
Bombs fall, bombs fall.
Aug 31, 2017
Aug 31, 2017 at 4:50 AM UTC
I stare all day at a picture of you broken by me
In more ways than one it claims to be
She looks beautiful and happy now with Sc filter flowers in her hair
But here comes her quick repair
A trip to Thorpe park will heal her heart
While mine lays torn apart
A ride so exciting she forgot she was ever sat beside him
Strange boys of dull drugged description
Will fill her life's future ambition
These times help me write but don't right my ruin
Only create a broken heart from what she is doing
It doenst matter she took me for a fool I claim no innocence at all
Just wish I'd had one last chance to show her a future in preview past tence in advance
Before she threw away it all and wrote the unwritten rule that true love doenst say
You are not in my day or night
your no longer my shining light
I never want you to hold me tight
id rather a life without the plight
Your not even worth half a fight
I'll never forget her gorgeous ways and how she brightened and made my days
I'm sorry beautiful princess forever true
I'm sorry I couldn't be the one for you for loving you is all I do
Aug 16, 2017
Aug 16, 2017 at 8:38 AM UTC
As loudly as the metal lord roars
The sweat from my skin escapes and pours
Rushing back and fourth the circle pit calls
Knee deep in mud covered in another metal heads blood
As you knock one down you bring another up
It's metal common courtesy in this ****** up love
The pounding in the heart is the smashing of the drums
The shredding of the guitar is the racing in my head
The kind I'll feel like 3 days from now trainwrecked in my bed
The darkness is raging inside my head
Dying to dual with another metal bred
Adrenaline burst releases the demon I'd pick that over a boring angel without any given reason
It is my passion
it is my choice now leave me alone with this howling voice
Aug 8, 2017
Aug 8, 2017 at 10:33 AM UTC