So fickle is a heart that’s unsure of a love that is not receptive
It ponder if it should stay or go
Fight or surrender
Give it all or become selfish
It waits for a sign so small like a smile
Then it returns devoted to fight
But then the sudden sign of a cold shoulder
Dips the heart into a downpour of insecurities
It’s back to square one
A never ending cycle
A broken heart attempting to repair its damages
Returning to the person who disassembled it
Sep 15, 2018
Sep 15, 2018 at 6:14 PM UTC
Every moment not spent with you is a moment I regret
To not be able to hold you close to me and feel your lips on mine
Brings a pain so deep, I don’t feel like I can continue to endure
The space between us seems to grow the more time you spend away
I am grasping the emptiness keeping it small so that it no longer grows
I continue to keep the memories and contemplate that one day you will return
That the fire we once had burning, engulfing our souls with flames of passion that entangled our lives into one
And that when you return your eyes would still let me know that your love has not changed
That the fire you still hold within is blazing
But until that day arrives here I will be keeping a blaze the fire in my veins
Sep 14, 2018
Sep 14, 2018 at 8:46 PM UTC
Voices echoing in my head I don’t listen
I distract myself from letting them get to me
I have fought so hard to get to a place of peace
No more cutting; no more bleeding; no more tears
But the voices miss the rush of the crimson colored drops rolling down my arm
They remind me how the world would stop as I breathed in the sensation of the pain
How I would feel alive like I was reborn
It took me away from the pain and for a minute I felt safe
There are days where I am so close to craving the smell of blood the adrenaline rush my body feels
But I know better half the battle is fighting these temptations
So another day I ignore the screams of my voices and maybe one day it will stop
Sep 14, 2018
Sep 14, 2018 at 7:39 PM UTC
How could you love someone so much that you tolerate the endless mistakes they do?
How you cover each wound with a band aid and look the other away when he pulls that band aid and digs deeper into that cut
Can you continue to look yourself in the mirror and live with the person you have become?
Is it fair that you sit by waiting leading with false hope and pretenses while he lives his best life and doesn’t give you a second thought?
When will it end? When will you realize that this he was never good for you?
You are worth more than what you sell yourself for
Sep 14, 2018
Sep 14, 2018 at 7:20 PM UTC
Give me A specific reason
Why you came around
In a time where my heart is guarded
By someone else
When all my hope is invested
Into laying in someone else's arms
How when i look at you
You make my world stop
When it shouldn't
You sneaked your way
Into my domain
And now I'm at a loss for words
Hoping i don't make a mistake
Holding on to him
But hoping for you
Trying to chase a miracle
While cementing my feelings for you
How do i choose between familiarity and the unknown
The willing and the hopeless
What seems to be right is now clouded
By a love that has bloomed in a heart so crowded
May 21, 2018
May 21, 2018 at 8:57 PM UTC
There's no fight left
No light
No use of the tears that i cried
The sun's trying to come in
Though i fight the urge to let it seep through
Curiosity hits me and i want to feel it's rays
Don't remember the last time
The sun's been able to brighten my day
I hold on to the darkness I've grown comfort in
So afraid to let go thinking i will miss the burden
Of the thoughts of you and what could have been
But the sun is persistent
The rays are dancing
The darkness is leaving without me asking
I begin to bask in the sun's light
Finally im free
May 16, 2018
May 16, 2018 at 5:27 PM UTC
Though u said all those things
That killed me inside
I still miss you
Your intent was to only hurt me
But i still love you
Broken hearted but the pieces still call your name
A love i was so invested in became my down fall
So many tears stain my pillow
Nights i lay awake replaying the memories
Hoping that they are enough to keep me alive
Anxiety filling my soul as i have to realize that you were never good for me
Trying to convince my body to forget your touch and the way your hand made my adrenaline rush
How i have to succumbed to the fact this was all a lie
Yet all of me loves you
And i just don't know why...
Feb 11, 2018
Feb 11, 2018 at 8:28 PM UTC
Crack a smile laugh show those pearly whites,
Pull your sleeves down hide yesterdays sorrows
You gotta pretend like you're okay
Your world didn't fall down just tilted
Keep telling yourself you're okay
At some point you will believe it
Don't show the world just how messed up you really are
And how you lay in bed at night
With the razor on the floor blood stained t-shirt
Praying that this time you were closer to death than before..
Brave that smile
Make the world think that somehow you got this all under control..
Feb 4, 2018
Feb 4, 2018 at 8:20 PM UTC
What do you do when you are no longer the belle to his beast
The muse he used to indulge in
When you no longer give him the feelings you still feel
Do you stay and fight
Or do you give up
What do you do when you can't sleep
Hoping he's alone but knowing his heart belongs to someone else
So you sit and cry yourself to sleep
Contemplating if this is a fight that's worth the pain
Or do you save yourself from feeling even more pain and move on
When you're stuck against a wall and a rock
With nowhere to turn
Do you give it all you've got
Or do you raise the white flag
And let it go..
Oct 30, 2017
Oct 30, 2017 at 3:05 PM UTC
Running away
From you
Till my lungs collapse and my legs get weak
You're the nightmare in my dreams
The monster in my closet
The reason why i scream
I'll keep running till the blood dries up
The adrenaline disappears and there's nothing left but dust
Till you give up and find your next victim
I'll keep moving just to get away..
Oct 23, 2017
Oct 23, 2017 at 11:08 AM UTC