They say there's a reason why
The rearview is smaller than the windshield but I
digress, it's a sick twisted thought in my
mind that I cannot push away
and haunts my soul each and every day
Move on, they said.
But what if I don't want to?
What if they're wrong?
What if they just don't know you like I do?
Move on, I said.
All I did was care
Too much, you said
I would never hurt you
But my advances were arrows to you
My heart was a gun and now I'm out of ammunition
I walk these streets
Broken and torn
Reminded by the memories
of us, now distant and forlorn
I pull my hoodie strings as tight as they can go
Hiding as much of myself possible to people I don't know
With a permanently neutral expression on my face
I'd give anything to erase
The memories of what was once something good
That's now slowly strangling me by the strings of my hood...
Jan 6, 2016
Jan 6, 2016 at 1:00 PM UTC
We tell them we’re fine
But it’s not like they’d listen anyway, right?
Save your words
They won’t be heard
And the silence is what you really prefer
We tell them we’re fine
They won’t know the difference
Our emotionless face won’t show it
Our broken hearts won’t bestow it
Why try to explain
When the only feeling we know is pain
We tell them we’re fine
Because we just want to be left alone
We don’t want them to listen
We can solve it ourselves
Take another hit, make another slit
It’ll be alright
We tell them we’re f*cked up
Because we don’t want to be alone
We want them to listen
We can’t solve it ourselves
Put the drugs away, put the razor down
It’ll be alright...
May 12, 2015
May 12, 2015 at 11:55 PM UTC
Depression is like a stage crew
It's there but no one else likes to recognize it
"It'll pass", they assure
But it doesn't
It has no cure
No pills can silence the voices in my head
No one's words can make me feel better
No therapy can assure me it will be okay
So I sit and have a one-way chat
With the demons that lie within
And curse the ones who started this whole charade
But I must realize that they'll never win
Mar 10, 2015
Mar 10, 2015 at 11:48 PM UTC
Alone
Webster says it means without anyone else
I say it means when your soul melts
Alone just isn't by yourself
Alone is putting your personality on a dusty old shelf
Like an old book that you've finished reading
You stand solitary and useless
And deep down inside your heart is bleeding
Bleeding from what? you may ask
A simple thing, just one little task
A quest for love...
A quest to live the dream that everyone around you lives
But you can't
Instead it's just you and only you standing there
Hopeless as you stand in front of that mirror
The heart yearns for attention that you'll seemingly never receive
But something inside tells you to believe
Only to be let down time and again
Love hurts. Love stinks. amen.
Your friends always tell you that you aren't alone
But that phrase has merely become a drone
Alone is a constant battle of ups and downs
But mostly downs
And you wonder if you'll ever find love
They say give it time, you're young
But isn't nearly 20 years long enough?
Enough to experience what God intended us to all feel?
20 years by yourself is rough
And after your apparently endless fall
Maybe it's best to leave the book on the shelf after all...
Feb 26, 2015
Feb 26, 2015 at 10:46 PM UTC
To the kid that no one sits with at lunch
To the kid that has no friends
To the kid that can't feel love
To the kid that forgot how to smile
To the kid whose parents say "why'd I have to have one like this?"
To the kid who has to inflict pain to know they're still alive
To the kid who's in an endless cycle of depression
To the kid who has funky colored hair
To the kid who has no hair
To the kid that gets battered and bruised for who they are
To the kid that yearns for attention they never get
To the kid that can't think straight
To the kid that isn't straight
To the kid that can't feel what life should be
Depression. That's all you feel
You can no longer tell what's fake and what's real
And the voices in your head-the real you is what they conceal
They tell you to pick up that knife
That's what'll make it better
So you bleed and you scream
and you plead and you try to deem
What's right and what's wrong
But in the end, is anything really....right?
Put down the knife and think back....
You're here for a reason
And no matter what that reason may be, you serve a purpose
If you think long enough, that image might start to surface
You're here for a reason...
Feb 19, 2015
Feb 19, 2015 at 12:22 AM UTC