I remember it like it was just yesterday
I'm happy at the beach
I get a call
They say you left us
While I was too busy having fun
Too involved with myself to save you
You were my best friend
My first love
My human diary
My shoulder to cry on..
But what did I do for you?
I didn't save you
I wasn't there to catch you
I wasn't there to hold you and remind you of how much I love you
My heart will forever hurt for you
《6-13-18》
Dec 2, 2018
Dec 2, 2018 at 12:08 AM UTC
Everyone can say they love you
Not everyone actually loves you
Love is something all humans know of
Love is something we live by
We write, sing, talk, type, paint, draw, craft, cook, sculpt: LOVE
But why do we insist on wanting something that hurts so bad?
Jan 21, 2018
Jan 21, 2018 at 7:29 PM UTC
I'm sorry that I'm not everything you wanted me to be
I'm sorry I'm not more like my sister
I understand that you like to be in full control
When you don't have control you get angry and take it out on me
You find all my flaws
You magnify them so your's look smaller
I miss the mom from 8 years ago
You have the same body but its not the same person
You're bitter now
But only towards me
Is it because I remind you of my father?
The man that abused and cheated on you
What did I do at 7 years old that made you hate me so much?
I think of what used to be and all I can do is cry
You say I'm an attention ***** and well, just a ***** in general
You don't like how my views aren't identical to yours
You don't like how I dress
You don't like my friends
But mom, I still love you
Even if you hate me
Jan 21, 2018
Jan 21, 2018 at 7:26 PM UTC
I barely recognize myself anymore
When I was young I knew what I wanted when I grew up
Am I even growing anymore?
I feel stuck
I can't breathe here anymore
I've become too large for this small town
How will I get out without the brains or the talent to do it?
Am I here for a reason?
What is my life supposed to look like?
I feel like I've made a wrong turn in the universe
My heart is somewhere else and I can't find it
It left without saying goodbye
Where am I meant to end up?
How am I supposed to get there?
Why am I going through these things?
Do I even matter anymore?
Have I done all I can for this world and now am I just waiting for death?
Jan 10, 2018
Jan 10, 2018 at 2:13 PM UTC
I didn't want to send you pictures of my body
Naked and vulnerable
I told you no
You say please
I say no
You get angry
How dare I not fold like paper under your command
"You're just a little **** you say
You called me a **** for not wanting to strip for you
You called me a **** because I did not let you control me
I am not a ****
I am not your puppet
Don't whisper these lies into my ear after tearing me apart with just your words
Don't tell me you're sorry
You meant what you said
Nov 6, 2017
Nov 6, 2017 at 12:25 PM UTC
You will be hurt
You will cry over boys that don't even deserve a glance from you
At some points, you'll wonder why you're still alive
You'll lose friends you thought were going to stay forever
You're going to try to push everyone away and only the people who really love you will stay
You're going to go through hell and back
You'll fall in love with people who leave
You'll break hearts
You will find you are so much stronger than you or anyone thought
You'll have amazing experiences
You'll become friends with the best people in the world
You'll be glad you survived everything you have
I promise its worth it and I wouldn't change a thing
Oct 11, 2017
Oct 11, 2017 at 2:38 PM UTC
"I want a relationship."
"I do too. I want one with you."
"Oh, I said I wanted a relationship but not with you"
"I mean I guess that's fine... Can I ask why?"
opens with no response
"I won't get mad or anything..."
opens with no response
I guess I wasn't as important to you as you said I was.
Oct 11, 2017
Oct 11, 2017 at 2:22 PM UTC
Never will our hands meet
Bare skin on bare skin
Never will our lips meet
Our love formed over early morning texts and late night calls
Never will our eyes meet through anything more than a phone screen
Speaking of meeting brings disappointment
Hating every inch in between us
Jealous of all close to the other
Oct 5, 2017
Oct 5, 2017 at 1:22 PM UTC
You tell me you don't want a relationship
I'm okay with that
If you don't want a relationship why do you treat me as if we're dating?
You tell me you love me
You tell me good morning, good night
We talk on the phone for hours on a daily basis
You get jealous if another guy flirts with me
You want to meet my parents
But when I ask why you're acting like this you just change the subject
You are giving me mixed signals
Messing with my emotions
You had a dream we were dating and you said you liked it
But you don't want a relationship
What are we doing anymore?
Maybe you're scared I'll hurt you like the other girls?
Maybe I'm just overthinking?
I can't handle these mixed signals...
Oct 5, 2017
Oct 5, 2017 at 9:25 AM UTC
From the moment I saw you
I knew we'd be something real
I knew you'd be the one I'd want to grow old with
I love you
You treat me as if I'm the only girl in the world
You're my king and I'm your queen
I'm in love with you
When I'm with you I smile so much my face hurts
But I'm scared
Everyone is saying you'll just break my heart
I don't want to believe them
But I just wonder if they're right
And they were.
Sep 27, 2017
Sep 27, 2017 at 2:21 PM UTC