I don’t have that friend…
Who I trust with everything.
Who is here in 10 minutes.
Who I can be lazy with.
Who I can watch movies with.
Who I can call at 3 AM.
Who I can cry on.
Who encourages me.
Who tells me it will be OK.
Who is always on my side.
Who watches me laugh insanely.
Who surprises me.
Who wishes with me.
Who waits with me.
Who hugs me.
Who is proud of me.
Who wants me.
Who needs me.
Who loves me.
I used to have that friend.
She asked me never to leave.
And I never did.
She was scared
And so was I.
But she built up some fake facade
And I sat by.
I waited and
I watched to see if she would come back.
But it became too much.
I miss that I used to have that friend.
She helped me grow with Christ.
She helped me in my mental fights.
She was my best friend.
It’s hard to say goodbye when the person’s being doesn’t actually leave.
Sometimes I think about making the choices she has made.
The love,
The lust,
The parties,
The “cool” personality.
I think about making those mistakes.
I can fail one class.
I can drink one drink.
I can **** one soul.
I don’t have that friend anymore.
And I won’t have one for a while.
But I do have a sister.
I have people who need me even though I don’t want them to.
I have people who say “I love you” to me although those words don’t come out of my mouth anymore.
I have a sister, so I have a friend.
Oct 8, 2016
Oct 8, 2016 at 9:35 PM UTC
There's nothing beautiful about this
Nor poetic words to explain that
I only want to die today.
Aug 28, 2016
Aug 28, 2016 at 9:03 PM UTC
A dream can feel unusually real.
I don't know I'm sleepy, until a wake up.
Well...
What if every one of my breaths is in just another dream?
What if this pain is all a dream?
What if we are all resting on the clouds for 70+ years?
What if when we die, we finally wake up in peaceful eternity?
What if it didn't matter how we died?
I want to believe this so badly.
Jun 15, 2016
Jun 15, 2016 at 9:23 PM UTC
Go to hell
You ****
I swear,
If you touch me one more time...
May 23, 2016
May 23, 2016 at 8:51 PM UTC
How rude would I be
If I took my life
On the day before I'm supposed to
Celebrate the one who gave me life.
I'm not sure I care, though,
How rude you think I am.
May 7, 2016
May 7, 2016 at 2:36 PM UTC
The Anticipation...
For One Tiny Gesture.
A Hug.
From 1 Single Person.
Here's To Hoping It Will
Mend My Shattered Soul
For 10 Seconds.
May 4, 2016
May 4, 2016 at 6:47 PM UTC
No, I'm not OK.
I'm drowning,
Choking,
Throwing up,
Crying,
Screaming,
Hurting,
Cutting,
Aching,
Sliding under.
And it ***** because
No one can help me.
so I don't ask anymore
May 4, 2016
May 4, 2016 at 5:26 PM UTC
My fingers are cut.
My knuckles bleed.
But I punch again.
I punch and
I punch and
I punch.
Until I realize that
I'm breaking the tools that
Allow me to escape
To Freedom.
Apr 26, 2016
Apr 26, 2016 at 6:33 PM UTC
Each day,
I cry out for help.
Yet each day,
I refuse to help myself.
Dear God, what is wrong with me?
Apr 20, 2016
Apr 20, 2016 at 6:03 PM UTC
Grasp my neck,
Wrap your fingers,
Just a little bit tighter.
Have me suffer no more.
Choke the life out of me.
Let the air vanish my breathe.
**** me
**** me
**** me.
TEN
NINe
EIGht
SEven
Six
five
f o u r
t h r
t w
o
Apr 14, 2016
Apr 14, 2016 at 9:38 PM UTC