jaijai
Let me be clear- not a poet in any shape or form, simply looking for an avenue of release- something to project myself onto as best I know how in order to figure myself out. Needing to feel connected amongst the chaos and uncertainty. This platform is a common denominator for listening and being heard.
The wind blows through me
Filling me with memories
Of the past I left
Jan 31, 2015
Jan 31, 2015 at 2:56 AM UTC
I sit on the edge
of loneliness and listen
will he ever come?
Jan 31, 2015
Jan 31, 2015 at 2:52 AM UTC
I tried to call tonight
As usual your phone is disconnected
That is exactly why I broke up with you
You're never there when I need you
Available.... yet, unreachable
UUUGHHHHH
I had hoped that you would get it together
Be the reliable man I neeeeed you to be
For our future, our family
The hypothetical one of course.
I'm sorry that I needed more from you
I'm sorry that your half-ass wasn't good enough
Because it's ruined my life as well as yours
Here I am growing up
There you are stuck
But I'll save my apologies
No use in trying anymore
I've walked out that door
yet
I'm having trouble closing it
Jan 26, 2015
Jan 26, 2015 at 1:33 AM UTC
I find myself missing
Missing his calloused hands
The smell of his sweat
Jan 11, 2015
Jan 11, 2015 at 11:33 PM UTC
Death is but the sweetest sorrow
To be lost and gone the 'morrow
Til' the soul it finds an end
Who to those don't understand
Let it be, as must it should
To find peace within the gloom... it would
Oh, how justly it is aught
God's great hand which is sought
Angels held his air like structure
Bring about no pain or destruction
Let it be, I must say
That we shall go another way
Jan 3, 2015
Jan 3, 2015 at 10:26 PM UTC
The break of dawn has come again
To resurrect us from our pain
With flowing tides of ivory
We shall see what the world
Was meant to be
Do not weep tears of sorrow
For today is lost tomorrow
Count your blessings, everyone
The day the Lord hath done
Miraculous are his works indeed
Restore in us a brand new reed
To be strong, Full of Joy
Until the day, Alas!
The day we shall rejoin
Jan 3, 2015
Jan 3, 2015 at 10:22 PM UTC
I wish I had words to express
Words packed with hidden metaphors and allusions
Words that lifted hearts and transcended consciousness
Words that accurately portrayed what I feel at this very moment in time
Yet all I have are ambitions, wishes
A mind that jumbles emotions into labyrinths of secret desires
All I know is I miss it
Miss what once was
And deconstruct because that time has past
Gathering what's left
To build again
Dec 1, 2014
Dec 1, 2014 at 2:29 AM UTC
I never knew I had what they all want
Not until I let it go did I know
That the comfortable feeling that happens after 10 years
Is a blissful state craved for
No hiding, no pretending, no judgments
I didn't have to hold em in or make myself pretty
I didn't have to be nice or seem interested
I could drink a bottle of wine and slur
And still you looked through my mess
With eyes soft
Held me tighter than before and let me snore in your arms
I never knew and I took you for granted
That what you did was because you loved ME
Just me, the bags under my eyes, the marks on my face, my stinky breath from smoking too much
I wish I didn't realize that how you loved was what they all want
A helping hand, selfless, compassionate and kind
Because I could have moved on
Now I'm stuck comparing everyone to you
Nov 28, 2014
Nov 28, 2014 at 1:50 AM UTC
The loneliness comes without notice
Not even a courtesy call
I beckon it in resentfully
Ask it to brush the mud off at the door
No words exchange
No need
We've been through this before
I pull the sweater over my head
And scrunch the jeans to the floor
He runs the bath
I lay in the warm tub
My eyes fix on an empty ceiling
As it's hands push me under
Gently, smoothly
The water feels comforting at first
Until like a flood the heightened panic enflames
I try not to stir, it'll only make it worse
I lay in the moment, the seconds that feel like hours
I can't breathe, I stop thinking
It's only when I let go, does he
Removes me from his grip
Allowing me space to catch myself
He stands up and lingers
I lean against the cold tiles until I regain myself
Then he vanishes and I hear the door slam shut
His job is done, for now
Nov 27, 2014
Nov 27, 2014 at 1:24 AM UTC
He used to sing to me
Time floated on the melody of his alto
Vibrating on chords that connected my soul with his
As light filtered through the eggshell curtains
I could hear the rising of the sun
He used to sing to me
The beat of his heart transfixed ours in tune
With every inhale
I knew
That space, change nor distance could erase
Our energies
He used to sing to me
The words meaningless, the breath he spared miraculous
For me he took those precious breaths
Giving me those memories I will never soon forget
Nov 27, 2014
Nov 27, 2014 at 1:09 AM UTC