In a shadow you appear
But I know our end is near
In the blink of
An eye closed
Your projection fades away
Our time was so short
But I’m sure
We could’ve been much more
As I pull out my roots
To find fertile ground
I call for your return and look around
Echoes of silence
Too much to bare
I must venture toward the unknown
No choice but to dare
Dec 24, 2021
Dec 24, 2021 at 2:04 AM UTC
your taste
looks
soul
so soft
breath
love
smile
so warm
contrasted with my rough edges
my passion to craft you into my image
my microscopic revisions
my criticism
I promise you I meant well
but my time is gone now
I'm sorry
Oct 29, 2021
Oct 29, 2021 at 1:20 PM UTC
months of articulate crafting
every curve
edge
splinter
shaved
she's beautiful.
just one more spot
one more nudge
make it perfect
what a beauty
make her part of my collection
front and center
but
one more curve
turns to another
correction
correction
correction
corrections turn to a revision
revision turns to a loss of the old
so perfect
but now so gone
goodbye old
hello new
too close to the sun
melting into the abyss
broken
handicapped
disposable
goodbye
Aug 2, 2020
Aug 2, 2020 at 10:36 PM UTC
You have so many petals to share
Intricate curves and edges
But they’re densely packed inside you
The bees are buzzing
Yearning for their fill
The crisp air
Waiting to flow through you
The rain didn’t replenish
The sunshine couldn’t nourish
The soil never uplifted
The child failed to pluck you
A perfect recipe with an imperfect outcome
The sunshine hits and your stems are scorched
The storm rolls and the rain turns to acid
The soil poisons your roots
What brings life to most deadens you
The strongest being couldn’t live like this
You cry out for an escape
So the shadows begin looming
The darkness ensues and the energy departs
The sunshine no longer scorches
The rain no longer corrodes
The soil no longer venom
The shadows are your refuge
Safe from the outside
The torment
But it’s lonely now
You miss what it felt like to feel
Empty
Open up little flower
Jun 21, 2020
Jun 21, 2020 at 3:59 PM UTC
friend
best friend
forever friend
where did you go
your warming presence
the glitter in your soul
where did you go
fear
so close to the sun
too frightened
shadows and storms protect you
encompass my aura
terror in your eyes
destruction in action
a shattered atmosphere
are you here?
dissociating
depersonalizing
disposing me
may your soul return soon
come back old friend
Jun 21, 2020
Jun 21, 2020 at 3:24 PM UTC
you transcend my existence
a beautiful new perspective
all i know is persistence
your aura is effective
Nov 7, 2018
Nov 7, 2018 at 7:45 PM UTC
the air has called winter's name
hot cocoa nights in our future
bundle up and light a fire
Christmas carols play as we fill the house with festive spirit
maybe next year i guess
Nov 7, 2018
Nov 7, 2018 at 7:26 PM UTC
i took a trip to a spiritual place
with all my friends i would have next year
i didn't find you
where will it all go wrong?
Nov 7, 2018
Nov 7, 2018 at 7:18 PM UTC
Do any of you feel like you can't rely on anyone but yourself? My whole life has felt like that but tonight it's really hitting me.
It all started a few weeks ago when I asked this girl I liked to formal. It was quite a stretch considering the social boundaries that were already in place. I'm a senior and she is a junior and I had no connections to any of her volleyball friends. It may not seem like it but some girls need to feel like you are socially "accepted," and I was socially unknown.
When I asked her, she seemed really excited which made sense due to the energy and good vibes she would bring to conversations despite her extreme shyness (I seemed to do most of the talking). Then formal came around. Before we went to the dance, there was a pre-formal get-together at her friends house. We were there for about three hours before we left for the dance and it was a great opportunity for me to meet her friends and her social group. I made my date laugh many times and I truly felt like there was a deep emotional connection between us. I conveyed confidence and a sense of humor, but it was clear I was the odd man out.
As I'm driving her to the dance, we started talking and again and she gave off off many signs that she was into me. I'm usually pretty good at looking in to that kind of stuff and I felt something was there. Although when we got to the dance, things start getting pretty shady. We met up with her volleyball friends that were at the formal get-together but it became increasingly obvious at the time my date was either too shy to dance with me or she only wanted to be with her friends. After 30 minutes of awkwardly following her and her friends around without dancing with her, I decided to give her some space and proceeded to hang out with my friends for the majority of the night.
About an hour and a half after I left her, she found where I was and asked if I wanted to go to a party that was happening afterwards with her which led me to believe this was her trying to convey interest in me without putting herself out there. I agreed and we got in my car until about five minutes later when her friends insisted they couldn't go anymore, so she decided she wasn't going to go either (I can confirm that her friends weren't trying to get her out of hanging out with me and there was actually something that prevented them from going). So I dropped her off at her friend's car, still went to that same party, and called it a night.
The next morning I hit her up and told her I had a great night with her even though it was mostly ******** but I didn't want her to think I was mad for what actions took place (Ignoring me during the dance and ditching the party). Then Christmas break began and I was out of town for about a week and a half. While I was out of town, I decided the best way to get to know her and her friend group better was to throw a kickback since it became clear they rarely accepted new people into their group. Keep in mind that it's not just me and all of her girlfriends. One of my guy friends who is almost dating my formal date's best friend has gone to all of the events with me (pre-formal, the dance, the afterparty), and he was my only guy friend throughout this whole process.
Finally the day comes, I send them the address and then I get the dreadful question, "Who else is coming?" Side note: people who ask this question can honestly **** off because pretty much what they're saying is "is there anyone else coming that would make it worth going to?" Anyway, I told my date that it was just going to be my friend Nick (the guy that I mentioned earlier), her, and her other two close friends which she replied "that's it?" with no emojis. I proceeded to tell her yes and that I'm just keeping it small. I was left on open, but still assumed she and her friends were going to come.
I set the kickback to start at 8:00 PM until I get a text from her around 7:45 PM saying that she was sorry but neither her or any of her friends could make it. As for my one guy friend and the friends he was inviting, he said he was going to come but never bothered to actually show up. Fed up and frustrated, I decided to invite all of my friends that were in town to come to my house where we can all get ****** up. After anxiously waiting for an hour and a half, my friends started to show up and at the peak, around 7 people showed up which was actually pretty good considering it was Winter break and most of my friends were out of town. I snapchatted the whole thing and made it look really hype without looking like a tryhard and put it on my story to let the ******* that ditched me know that I could invite other people right on the spot and they would still manage to come through.
It was a great night and I was glad there were people that I could rely on once in my life, especially since my whole life I never found anyone I could rely on. It made me realize how cliquey high school is and how unwelcoming most people are to letting others join their friend group. No matter how good of an impression you make, certain people will still push you away if you don't meet their social standards. Anyway, I hope all of you guys have a nice rest of your day. Thank you for reading this.
Jan 5, 2018
Jan 5, 2018 at 10:25 AM UTC
You know it's funny to think you would bring this upon me
An obsession that is driving me to the edge
Classmate at first glance and soulmate with deeper inspection
Beauty on the outside and mystery within
As I sip on this wine I look into your eyes
Some roses and a glimpse of euphoria is what I see
Your nature matches a silent film
Quiet, but impactful
My only anticipation is your reciprocation
A one way desination
You're more than a weekend vacation
Don't mistaken my straightforwardness for desperation
Dec 23, 2017
Dec 23, 2017 at 11:09 PM UTC