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jaanamj
jaanamj
Azerbaijani everything i create is to feed my soul and hopefully play with yours.
she lays limp upon the sea foam mattress gasping for air amongst the swarm of tubes entangling around her body i am across from her a handful of popcorn held together by a rubber band is it within my own selfish desire to keep my love afloat? or shall i submerge her gently into the ocean of infinite nothingness ? i open a poetry book to softly narrate her last words to her. do not go gentle into that good night. old age should burn and rave at close of day. and as she slips away rage. rage against the dying of the light. she tremors.
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Feb 3, 2018
Feb 3, 2018 at 8:04 PM UTC
upon the dying of a love
hey, ma. it's been a while. i don't know if you remember the sound of my chirpy voice anymore. it still comes up, every now and again; when i'm baked beyond my brains when i had just cracked the rankest pun when i'm tangled in a boy's arms, lost - lost. just like you ma. i wonder where your mind takes you when the ringing in your ears doesn't seem to go. when you dissociate into the otherworld, and the lashes of your third eye sweep me away from your vision. i thought the power of the universe was supposed to be abundant. yet i have lost you to the vortex of your gods - the same ones that leave only the wind to rock me to sleep. ma, i am pockmarked with your bad habits. i lose touch with reality myself, looking for the warmth of your recognition. i guess space is too large for me to find your meditative corner. or perhaps i'm just looking in the wrong spaces. space is nice because you have no weight on your shoulders. i miss the feeling of having no weight on my shoulders. when i grow up, ma i want to be just like you. lost.
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Dec 8, 2016
Dec 8, 2016 at 9:46 PM UTC
title
i must be some sort of permanently exhausted pigeon; claws clinging to the telephone wire drearily blinking my way through the morning meeting of the aerial acrobatic society. i am a seagull swarmed amongst the chirpy conjecture of these early birds; and my soul caws an honesty, a wail, a howl, the truth. i am a tainted swan grittily paddling myself through the marsh we call this world, a lone observer of the acrobats, the stickiness of my feet keeping me flightless. and you are a swallow; redbull wings migrate you to warmer climates. you hear the seagulls but listen to the pigeons. you notice the swan but her murky shallows are too icy for your liking. and you are a chicken; blind beyond your own free-range vicinity. you catch the pigeons as jet planes, and the seagull's whisper is alien. you don't know miss swan.
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Nov 24, 2016
Nov 24, 2016 at 8:02 AM UTC
beaker
I am plastered with minimarts and motorcycles - a street so overwhelming to the senses, but imprinted on the backs of the hands of Mr. Yamamoto, Craig Miller, Agus Gunawan, and Sergei Ivanov. What were they running away from again? A tattered - sinfully boring - machine-repetitive life? The thing about me is; even though you trash me with cigarette butts and remnants of your sour past, I am only a taste of tradition - a façade before the secrets of the Gods unveil - and you can bet that two October bombs won't dull my lambent. In any case, you must purge the storm of serpents before you sleep, and step into the silence of monks. But remember, the distance between your soul and mine will never change. Ever.
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Oct 27, 2016
Oct 27, 2016 at 1:31 PM UTC
Self Portrait as Jalan Kuta
When I first fled my hometown, I was told there was a separation: a continental drift that dragged me by the wrists and it was as if i was a ballerina that twirled away too swift, so deep in desperation. It was my fault, I say. Home looked like marble tiles and candelabras on mahogany, so grazed with grandeur solemn servants and chauffeurs a prison echoing empty space prim and proper, neat and tidy, dental dexterity and a library of unsealed books i don’t read. When I first fled my hometown, I was told there was a separation, but i had dreams too big to fit my pockets, and living at home was essentially sedation. It was all my fault, I say. When my home shrunk into 228 square feet- stretched out 8821 miles away, I was ready for reparations: Ready to cocoon myself inside for 28 hours, to be locked up in my little tower. I’m free now, I say. Home looked like my only dish, unwashed for three whole days sheets one solid colour white walls pantslessness and an entire shelf of unsealed books i don’t read. I rise to the setting of the sun; water boiling in a kettle, and i make instant noodles because there’s never a place more silent and shielding than home. I am free now, I say. When I bought a place of my own, Home was just the right temperature but too many cluttered corners. my mind exhales A pair of incessantly open arms await me, and i get shamed for the books i lunge around but don’t really read there is no spit in my face but there are kicks at my back i am learning that all the freedom in the world doesn't keep you from the prison you hold in your own mind i am learning what a home feels like for the very first time i open my eyes to sunshine and orange juice and the morning breath of a lover so oblivious to misery our souls sing in flawless harmony i am finally home and my mind exhales again
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Oct 17, 2016
Oct 17, 2016 at 5:36 PM UTC
MANSION, aSylUm, abode
When I first fled my hometown, I was told there was a separation: a continental drift that dragged me by the wrists and it was as if i was a ballerina that twirled away too swift, so deep in desperation. It was my fault, I say. Home looked like marble tiles and candelabras on mahogany, so grazed with grandeur solemn servants and chauffeurs a prison echoing empty space prim and proper, neat and tidy, dental dexterity and a library of unsealed books i don’t read. When I first fled my hometown, I was told there was a separation, but i had dreams too big to fit my pockets, and living at home was essentially sedation. It was all my fault, I say. When my home shrunk into 228 square feet- stretched out 8821 miles away, I was ready for reparations: Ready to cocoon myself inside for 28 hours, to be locked up in my little tower. I’m free now, I say. Home looked like my only dish, unwashed for three whole days sheets one solid colour white walls pantslessness and an entire shelf of unsealed books i don’t read. I rise to the setting of the sun; water boiling in a kettle, and i make instant noodles because there’s never a place more silent and shielding than home. I am free now, I say. When I bought a place of my own, Home was just the right temperature but too many cluttered corners. my mind exhales A pair of incessantly open arms await me, and i get shamed for the books i lunge around but don’t really read there is no spit in my face but there are kicks at my back i am learning that all the freedom in the world doesn't keep you from the prison you hold in your own mind i am learning what a home feels like for the very first time i open my eyes to sunshine and orange juice and the morning breath of a lover so oblivious to misery our souls sing in flawless harmony i am finally home and my mind exhales again
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55
you are my alarm clock, the vertical curve on the corner of my lip, but you are not the urgent tap against my skin, not the creases between my brows. you are a tabloid magazine, a stifling bank of encounters, but not the ringing repetition of electronic dance music. you are a pair of socks with stains on them, the warmth of the sun licking my back, but you can never be a filthy fingernail, and you will never be the bottom of a single serve of whiskey.
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Oct 14, 2016
Oct 14, 2016 at 1:56 AM UTC
litany
i wonder how these love poems fade, slither like snakes from my mumbly mouth and into your soft ears. you are ten thousand miles away. and i wake up to your midnight, but there is no smoother sound than your wholesome hearty voice whispering "what's for breakfast?" there is no time. for when you are tired - sweat dripping from your small forehead - it is time for the wind to pull me out the door. so rest, little dove close your eyes. you know so little of how deeply mine heart cries.
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Oct 14, 2016
Oct 14, 2016 at 1:50 AM UTC
till the hands of our clock intertwine
black liquorice. a man walking me with his hand on the small of my back. chilli-flavoured chocolate. being called "exotic". salads. my long beautiful hair (it's a trap!). eggs in the morning. making myself look "pretty". foie gras. bleu cheese. macarons.
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Oct 14, 2016
Oct 14, 2016 at 1:39 AM UTC
things i pretend i like
i am an apricot, dried and vacuum-packed amongst chunks of cashew nuts and ************* i am a cigarette, wrinkled and cracked with ashes so rank and how the wind whispers my bones away. i am a stick of magnesium extingushed halfway - and i will never burn again for you have swallowed my spark.
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Oct 13, 2016
Oct 13, 2016 at 3:06 PM UTC
retardation
my name is my mother's strength my name is an extension of my dad's best friend my name is a sanskrit darling my name is a literal gift from god my name is the key dangling around my neck my name is a hair tie my name is a broken input chord my name is a ***** pack tied around an old man's beer belly my name is my name my name is my name
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Sep 8, 2016
Sep 8, 2016 at 6:04 PM UTC
my name is my name