j-valle - Hello Poetry

A heartbeat frettles under my skin, upon my eyes, a darker tint, this body, not more than a shell, for all I know, I might be dead. Along it came with my first breath, this yearn, to paint the walls in crimson red an everthought, my resting place, for all I know, call me obsessed.

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Mar 9, 2021

Mar 9, 2021 at 12:17 AM UTC

Slumberwake

A heartbeat frettles under my skin, upon my eyes, a darker tint, this body, not more than a shell, for all I know, I might be dead. Along it came with my first breath, this yearn, to paint the walls in crimson red an everthought, my resting place, for all I know, call me obsessed.

8

I must say that it got me fooled The road seemed straight The scars had cooled And the obstacles had strained But the turn eventually came And now I'm coming back To the spinning hail To my self attack Further self, I know you will get us there. Former self, Forgive me for getting us here.

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Jun 26, 2018

Jun 26, 2018 at 9:51 PM UTC

Relapse

I must say that it got me fooled The road seemed straight The scars had cooled And the obstacles had strained But the turn eventually came And now I'm coming back To the spinning hail To my self attack Further self, I know you will get us there. Former self, Forgive me for getting us here.

12

I've loved the wrong people But I've loved them right I've learned how to love The people I shouldn't have I've given up my heart I've shown up my art Expected what they couldn't give But I've done it right I've loved purely and bravely But the direction was misguided But I can't help to fanthom That maybe one day The right person will show And I won't love him right.

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Feb 16, 2018

Feb 16, 2018 at 12:48 AM UTC

Loving Right

I've loved the wrong people But I've loved them right I've learned how to love The people I shouldn't have I've given up my heart I've shown up my art Expected what they couldn't give But I've done it right I've loved purely and bravely But the direction was misguided But I can't help to fanthom That maybe one day The right person will show And I won't love him right.

14

I'm stumbling like a toddler in a room. My hands are on my sides plane-like in the air trying to give me some balance, to keep me from falling. My feet hurt and are clumsy, they're not used to this. I'm using my father's shoes. I'm wearing them to feel like an adult, like one of those old humans who go and live an adult life, but my father's shoes are too big for my baby feet, no matter how hard I try, they just don't fit. But I keep doing it. I'm not alone in this room, There's no way I would be doing this just for myself, maybe at the beginning, when it was fun. My family is staring at me. They are all expectators. Of this crazy show I'm directing, Half thinking I'm cute for pretending to be one of them. The other half's just waiting for the moment I trip and start crying. My father's shoes are too big for me, This adult mockery is not for me, Just as I realize about this. I trip.

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Sep 13, 2017

Sep 13, 2017 at 8:23 AM UTC

Father's Shoes

I'm stumbling like a toddler in a room. My hands are on my sides plane-like in the air trying to give me some balance, to keep me from falling. My feet hurt and are clumsy, they're not used to this. I'm using my father's shoes. I'm wearing them to feel like an adult, like one of those old humans who go and live an adult life, but my father's shoes are too big for my baby feet, no matter how hard I try, they just don't fit. But I keep doing it. I'm not alone in this room, There's no way I would be doing this just for myself, maybe at the beginning, when it was fun. My family is staring at me. They are all expectators. Of this crazy show I'm directing, Half thinking I'm cute for pretending to be one of them. The other half's just waiting for the moment I trip and start crying. My father's shoes are too big for me, This adult mockery is not for me, Just as I realize about this. I trip.

22

Oh dear mind of mine, Are you really mine? Are you really connected To my bones? Are you really a part of Myself? Can't you hear my heart? Screaming his name, Everytime you bring us A picture of himself, Didn't you get the memo? Where we left very clear, That it was for our safety, To not overthink his face, Leave his smell locked out, But here you are, What a traitor, Our heart skipped a beat And now can't stop crying All because, You are thinking on your own, Oh dear mind of mine, Just spare me one, Let me live with no regret, With no sorrow And no heartache.

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Jul 20, 2017

Jul 20, 2017 at 10:21 AM UTC

Treason

Oh dear mind of mine, Are you really mine? Are you really connected To my bones? Are you really a part of Myself? Can't you hear my heart? Screaming his name, Everytime you bring us A picture of himself, Didn't you get the memo? Where we left very clear, That it was for our safety, To not overthink his face, Leave his smell locked out, But here you are, What a traitor, Our heart skipped a beat And now can't stop crying All because, You are thinking on your own, Oh dear mind of mine, Just spare me one, Let me live with no regret, With no sorrow And no heartache.

26

My mamma has cancer and I Haven't shed a single tear But both my heart and mind Run to you to feel you near. You are that safe place The haven to my chaotic surround The chord I follow in this maze My whole body aches for not having you around. What do I do? If I know you are not right for me, If I know you love like a virus, If I know you don't want me, But Yours is the hug I've been longing Yours are the eyes that confort me Yours is the only romantic love I've felt (or at least that's how I felt it) You are the person I want to be next to in this chaotic days... I know it is sick, You wrote me on my birthday, And I didn't say a thing, Yet here I am, writing you again Where's my pride? Where's my dignity? You may ask. My pride is right here, as well as my dignity, They are here in this transparent lines, They are in my honesty. I didn't answer on the 14th, Cause I didn't know what to say, I felt the same cycle beginning again, And I'm in no state for our silly games. Maybe I still love you Maybe I just need you right now. I don't know what do I want, I don't know if I want you back or if I just want to feel again what I felt when I was with you. I don't know what to do Nor why do I think of you I know you don't think of me back. When in a blue notebook I, Presented you the chance to change Or be better, You ignored the latter as well as me. So I can imagine how this must look like Again, my crazy obsessed mind running to you. I swear it is not. You might ignore this like you've done before, Feel no obligation to respond Feel no remorse for your actions, Just do what feels right. I'm just troubled, and I'm tired of speaking with you on my mind for months, I'm setting it free, My feelings, My words, And maybe, just maybe, The last strands of you.

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Jun 30, 2017

Jun 30, 2017 at 12:16 AM UTC

Alex

My mamma has cancer and I Haven't shed a single tear But both my heart and mind Run to you to feel you near. You are that safe place The haven to my chaotic surround The chord I follow in this maze My whole body aches for not having you around. What do I do? If I know you are not right for me, If I know you love like a virus, If I know you don't want me, But Yours is the hug I've been longing Yours are the eyes that confort me Yours is the only romantic love I've felt (or at least that's how I felt it) You are the person I want to be next to in this chaotic days... I know it is sick, You wrote me on my birthday, And I didn't say a thing, Yet here I am, writing you again Where's my pride? Where's my dignity? You may ask. My pride is right here, as well as my dignity, They are here in this transparent lines, They are in my honesty. I didn't answer on the 14th, Cause I didn't know what to say, I felt the same cycle beginning again, And I'm in no state for our silly games. Maybe I still love you Maybe I just need you right now. I don't know what do I want, I don't know if I want you back or if I just want to feel again what I felt when I was with you. I don't know what to do Nor why do I think of you I know you don't think of me back. When in a blue notebook I, Presented you the chance to change Or be better, You ignored the latter as well as me. So I can imagine how this must look like Again, my crazy obsessed mind running to you. I swear it is not. You might ignore this like you've done before, Feel no obligation to respond Feel no remorse for your actions, Just do what feels right. I'm just troubled, and I'm tired of speaking with you on my mind for months, I'm setting it free, My feelings, My words, And maybe, just maybe, The last strands of you.

57

I used to write what my soul poured, Let the words set themselves, Anguish and despair were all I wore, A flame and a cig were my only friends; It made me feel like Bukowski, Drowned in words filled with sorrow, With a broken heart because of him, But now that it's all over; I only write out of habit, He took my poetry when he left Like Alice through the hole of a rabbit, And disappeared witht the perfect theft; I'm trying to figure out What to write about, The new boy who hasn't come out? Or the man who craves for my mouth? But my poetry, my poems, The only thing I was proud of, Are the ones who suffer the most, They're lacking the fuel that ignited them, I let them all be about men, And what was the cost? I've obliterated them. My poetry is dead. Like my soul hopes to be.

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Jun 4, 2017

Jun 4, 2017 at 6:13 PM UTC

My Poetry Is Dead.

I used to write what my soul poured, Let the words set themselves, Anguish and despair were all I wore, A flame and a cig were my only friends; It made me feel like Bukowski, Drowned in words filled with sorrow, With a broken heart because of him, But now that it's all over; I only write out of habit, He took my poetry when he left Like Alice through the hole of a rabbit, And disappeared witht the perfect theft; I'm trying to figure out What to write about, The new boy who hasn't come out? Or the man who craves for my mouth? But my poetry, my poems, The only thing I was proud of, Are the ones who suffer the most, They're lacking the fuel that ignited them, I let them all be about men, And what was the cost? I've obliterated them. My poetry is dead. Like my soul hopes to be.

25

Like a lost arrow You struck my mind A gentle breeze, a certain smell Lead me back to your memories But you are out of my life I doubt you will ever come back So everyday it's new I'm learning to be myself again A new beginning A new life A new future I'm stumbling around In a crowded room With my eyes folded I don't know where to go, What to say, Which dreams should I follow, All I know is that I find it Quite difficult to beging again, It's a tedious and Uncertain life Without you.

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Jun 3, 2017

Jun 3, 2017 at 10:22 PM UTC

From Scratch

Like a lost arrow You struck my mind A gentle breeze, a certain smell Lead me back to your memories But you are out of my life I doubt you will ever come back So everyday it's new I'm learning to be myself again A new beginning A new life A new future I'm stumbling around In a crowded room With my eyes folded I don't know where to go, What to say, Which dreams should I follow, All I know is that I find it Quite difficult to beging again, It's a tedious and Uncertain life Without you.

22

I'm falling at 9.00 pm With gray eyes and a soft voice I'm nothing but a lost little comet, Following a stormy eyed big man, I want to forget all the years between, And feel the lips of 9.00 pm, But why would a man turn around, For a little comet?

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Apr 24, 2017

Apr 24, 2017 at 1:13 AM UTC

9.00 am

I'm falling at 9.00 pm With gray eyes and a soft voice I'm nothing but a lost little comet, Following a stormy eyed big man, I want to forget all the years between, And feel the lips of 9.00 pm, But why would a man turn around, For a little comet?

8

I'm afraid it seems that I, Can't runaway from my sadness, It is fragmented in my soul, I'm tired of all the madness of This world, It is such a ridicule place I can't keep up the pace, With the race against our race, There's nothing else to do, Than keep chasing up the haze. Looking up to the sky, I'm yelling up at life, Urging it to end, I never asked for this. The more I grow, The smaller I feel, It's time to accept that I'm Not made for this world.

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Mar 23, 2017

Mar 23, 2017 at 9:42 AM UTC

Wild World

I'm afraid it seems that I, Can't runaway from my sadness, It is fragmented in my soul, I'm tired of all the madness of This world, It is such a ridicule place I can't keep up the pace, With the race against our race, There's nothing else to do, Than keep chasing up the haze. Looking up to the sky, I'm yelling up at life, Urging it to end, I never asked for this. The more I grow, The smaller I feel, It's time to accept that I'm Not made for this world.

18