"are you okay?"
"of course I am."
"what could be wrong?"
something is wrong
something deep
drink another
dip another
snort another
let whatever is wrong die
the answer to the question at the end of the next bottle
***** your insecurities
leave them all behind
forget her and leave emptiness in her place
embrace it
your only companion
an empty heart left to an empty man
define yourself by them
define yourself by a girl attached to your hip
and pay the ******* consequeces
smile and laugh on the outside
but continue your internal bleeding
wipe away the blood from your nose
cover up the scars on your arms
and stare again at your empty phone
text her one more time and expect no response
drive through empty streets
feel comfort in knowing that your are alone
Dec 17, 2013
Dec 17, 2013 at 11:25 PM UTC
sins of my father
killed two men, at the age of eighteen
shot them both on Old Quaker road
then walked all the way back home
sins of my father
entered his house gun in hand
sat at the table, stared at the door
waited for the end, no tears shed
sins of my father
hours had gone and past by
sheriff finally rolls down the drive
to take my father for his misdeeds
sins of my father
left that gun on the table
greeted the sheriff at the kitchen door
nodded, an shook hands with his fate
sins of my father
mother cried and sisters wept
humiliated for a families deeds
broken home leaving no hope
sins of my father
hung him in the morning on old scaffolding
his face read of no heaven or hell
mama and her children no longer cried
sins of my father
id take the sins of my father
forty five years spent sinning
he left eighteen years to repent
Dec 17, 2013
Dec 17, 2013 at 11:21 PM UTC
a voice thick and grizzled
soaked in a deep bourbon for countless years
taken out to be dried in a once burnt smokehouse
then shot twice with rock salt and hit by a '56 Chevy
a voice to be raised too
Dec 17, 2013
Dec 17, 2013 at 11:04 PM UTC
through open windows
hear screams at night
lay motionless
lone mattress
dark empty room
four walls closing in
a cold sweat
in a dry heat
growls and grunts
raise from outside
soft drum beats
the devil is owed his due
hands run through matted hair
breath long and staggered
tobacco stained teeth
******* induced nosebleeds
screams grow louder
grizzled voices rip free
broken hands pound
dead chest heaves
raises
raises
raises
one high pitched ring
it was always me screaming
Dec 17, 2013
Dec 17, 2013 at 10:55 PM UTC
walked by that same building each day
the same piano music swept from the third floor
down to me, down to the street
focused only on the melancholy melody
the sweet drop and pitch of each note
didn't stop and listen though i yearned too
Dec 15, 2013
Dec 15, 2013 at 12:48 AM UTC
I've always written about her,
every word, every thought,
all seemed to stem from her memory
i needed her to say something,
i needed her to just give up on me,
and she wouldn't.
reaching for an empty glass,
reaching out for you.
and you wanted nothing to do with it
"once upon a time i promised we'd be okay"
now we are everything but
my mind accepts that as the gift it is
your words say you haven't let me go,
you haven't given up,
but I've let you go
I'm over you
a false love, now completely gone
its hard to say i never cared
yet that's all i have left!
i threw away our old pictures, deleted you from my phone!
laughed at all you'd written me in my drunkenness!
and finally succeed in not caring about you...
i said it...
i
don't
care
to be friends, to make things civil
to confide every lie, and every pain, in you...
your name a familiar sound to my mouth
only foreign and acidic
my thoughts of you, gone
the area you occupied inside me, vacant
waiting to be filled by something else
my god, i have forgotten you
your face
your touch
your lips
all gone from my empty memory
all replaced with a numb
a sadly comforting numbness
i have forgotten you my dear
now can i move on?!
can i live my life?!
can you live yours?!
can you stop caring?!
can you give up any hope you've ever had?!
oh god, i have forgotten you...
Dec 15, 2013
Dec 15, 2013 at 12:44 AM UTC
one quick breath
diving headfirst into a pool of imagined chlorine
sinuses ache and burn
one more hit, one more time
stop the thinking and start the drinking
drown the pain in whatever way you can
fist fights and broken bones make you more of a man
***** your morals, thoughts, and inhibitions
forget what matters and focus on sprinting
throw up those blinders and pick your point
for tonight your free and finally your own person
Dec 13, 2013
Dec 13, 2013 at 10:15 PM UTC
I never felt truly alive until the first time I met you
I was 15, at a time when sports, school, and my first car should have clogged my mind
Kids in school wrote poems, complained about parents, and how they couldn't get drunk
I spent nights in back alleys, and bars giving my best friends black eyes
I met you from a cracked rib and a broken nose
I tried to wipe the blood from my face, as you laughed and helped me up
"Johnny, Johnny, when we get cut we let it bleed."
Like all those other kids I wanted to **** myself
You taught me not to die without a few scars
"Do not waste those unscarred knuckles"
So that's what I did, I followed your ****** footprints
Walked in your dark path, you made me stronger for it
And yet through all those fights, all that inflicted pain
I smiled because of you, I walked forward because you did too
Man, you were the brother I never had
The Savior to my stupid un-tempered self
I spent three years as your equal, as your friend
I left for a new state, taking all you taught me
A new man, raised by you
And then you left,
Late that night, I sat in a classroom
You did what we know is best and stayed in those places
You always had my back, and I would always have yours
But I was gone
I would have seen that man
I would have killed him had I known...
Had I only known,
Had I seen that last punch, had I only caught that last kick
Id be the one laying out on the cold concrete
You'd be the one living free
You wouldn't regret your life, and I wont let myself regret mine
No one ever really knew our minds
The men that actually lurked behind our faded eyes
And now no one will ever know you
"Get up Johnny, Johnny"
"No one can keep you down forever"
Nov 30, 2013
Nov 30, 2013 at 12:46 AM UTC
that alternative
it would have made sense
my hand could have fit with yours
your eyes could have seen into mine
see, you could have understood me
words could have matched words
thought could have matched thought
scars could match scars
hearts could match hearts
lips could match lips
pardon this, but maybe hips could match hips
and through all that time we'd fight
of course we'd fight
just like it was now, it would have been then
the only difference, in how it would end
Nov 30, 2013
Nov 30, 2013 at 12:27 AM UTC
remembering the first time we met
remembering how I hated you and you hated me
funny the childish ways my mind used to work
funny how it took me a lifetime or two to finally be
completely comfortable with what you meant to me
id never tell you this, its not a huge deal
hell, not even sure if any of that **** was real
yet i felt something there
covered behind those angry stares
we exchanged insults and never kind words
yet given the chance id follow your world
distance and time, never the right place
seems right, to never have held your hand
or kissed you cheek, talk is big
but my walk is cheap
you assured me I'm a *****
though drunk messages led to bashful smiles
honestly we might have been good for each other
but that's something i tell myself im content to never know
happy for you is all i have to say
Nov 28, 2013
Nov 28, 2013 at 12:54 AM UTC