I miss my mother
And the sadness in her heart
And the old Adirondack songs she used to sing off key
I never thought I would miss that
But I do now
So much later
And I miss my Aunt
Her full body laugh, her twinkle,
Her short stocky strength
And her compassion for me
Because
Really
No one else showed me that compassion
Not like she did
And how did they have that laugh
Born of a life so hard
How did it survive
And why wasn’t it passed down to us
It was like it was their possession
And we were not privy to it
I have my mother’s cat
He cries for food all the time
It seems
Crying for love
Wanting for sustenance
Just like her
I don’t treat him the way my mother did
She let him eat on the table with her
It was hard for him
No more stove access
No tables, countertops
No Colonel Sanders chicken skins
No shared turkey sandwich
He likes to lie on cold sheets
Or under them
He doesn’t like too much affection
Lest he scratch me
Just like her
He used to miss Her
But now I’m his one and only
And he is mine
Such as it might be
(As my mother would say)
Our horses were her friends
But we were not
Better said, the horses were her secret
And we were not
Her secret life
Was not ours to know
Only her facade of motherly love
Indeed, not selfless
Now I lay her down to rest
Except another layer
Keeps revealing itself to me
As I continue to reveal myself
To me
Someday I will be able to forgive her forever
Once and for all
And love all that she was
And all that she wasn’t
She was just a human being
Who happened to be my mother
Sep 19, 2015
Sep 19, 2015 at 6:53 PM UTC
A million years of karmic debts,
an ancient timeless place
where jabs and hurts and familial retaliations
swirl like witches hats and brooms
in a dust storm of drama,
and I just get to be.
My tears bow down to me,
humble servants
in my quest
for compassion
for those lost
in the fragments of their existence.
Mar 10, 2015
Mar 10, 2015 at 6:29 PM UTC
What was my life
But A Thousand Mirrors
Illusions waiting to be shattered.
At times they cracked by themselves
But more often they cracked and shattered by the Grace of God
And by the Grace of Love
And by the Grace of The Messengers of Love
You know Who you are.
The illusions are cracking
And I am falling towards love.
Jan 9, 2015
Jan 9, 2015 at 6:27 PM UTC
What’s left when you leave behind
All the indignities, all the lies
What’s left is you, My Dear
Soft and pink
So delicate
That a spider’s breath would leave a ripple
Upon your innocence.
Jun 26, 2014
Jun 26, 2014 at 11:34 PM UTC
Curled up on my bed
I once again
purge myself
of my
Childhood Lies.
Jun 26, 2014
Jun 26, 2014 at 12:31 AM UTC
Icky old men
Selling their wares
Selling their worn out wares.
May 25, 2014
May 25, 2014 at 12:53 PM UTC
I got up
I was happy
I raised my arms to the sun
I thanked it
I danced
I hugged myself
I went about my business
I went to bed happy
Feb 21, 2014
Feb 21, 2014 at 6:13 PM UTC
He sits at his desk
Contemplating his unfulfilled destiny.
His bulky form shadows old letters.
Thick fingers linger and ****** photos
And dusty promises,
His "Awakening"
Turned into a funeral
Of ideals and love.
Oh yes . . .
His integrity is in tact.
Jan 23, 2013
Jan 23, 2013 at 5:04 PM UTC
My Dad
Didn't speak,
Worked endlessly,
Ate bowls of white bread
With milk and sugar
Before bedtime,
Got up early
By himself,
Percolated morning coffee -
Blip Blip Blip -
Into my bedroom
From the kitchen.
He watched over me
Silently,
Worried
Silently,
Protected me
Silently,
Loved me
Silently.
Why didn't you send that boy away?
Because you never would have spoken to me again
And I could not have borne that.
Now I know.
You were right.
And I apologize.
Jan 23, 2013
Jan 23, 2013 at 10:48 AM UTC
I am the "Lap Cat".
"Lap cat"???
Why am I
being called a "Lap Cat"? --
Then the "steak" *** roast)
came out.
Oh yea . . . !
We be likin' the "steak".
In fact,
I'd do most anything -
even be a "Lap Cat" -
to keep the "steak" comin'.
Unfortunately,
two other critters
with whom I share this humble abode,
have discovered
my secret passion
and,
doggone it,
demand
their share of the loot.
In case you're bad at math,
this leaves less for me.
I'll just
have to
puke up the Meow Mix
a little more often
to accentuate my point.
The battle
of the (animal vs human) minds
has begun;
don't underestimate
the devious methods
of . . .
the "Lap Cat".
by-
Fred
Jan 23, 2013
Jan 23, 2013 at 10:26 AM UTC