isthiscloudnine - Hello Poetry

I dream of great mansions, Becoming lost in a world in which I cannot understand, Where secrets are hidden away, locked, and untouched in the treasured corners of my unconscious yet conscious mind. I dream of large cities where I wish to escape to. Intimidating buildings pierce the high sky, the wondrous city sounds never get old. The soft lights and elegant music spiral about me, and all the while I'm there sometimes I conclude it's all not a dream. I dream of talking to strangers, having conversations like I know them but I don't. They treat me to coffee or extravagant island resorts, and we have the most electrifying trips. It's like they're real people, but they aren't. I dream of tumbling freely from high buildings, diving carelessly in the bed of foamy waves of the ocean, and running from places I don't know, but I am never hurt. I dream of strolling through wide valleys dotted with blades of overwhelmingly tall grass and a sky of white swirling clouds, And every time I step forward in the vast maze of the valley, plants and flowers sprout from my feet and continue to grow in astonishing speeds, And the wind caresses me gently as I slowly inhale the salty breeze it possesses. I dream of being alone, but when I'm alone in my dreams, I'm filled with the comfort of being able to explore the thoughts of my mind. The comfort of the large houses, the bustling cities whose towers pierce the sky, the strangers who I converse with, the heights I fall from and the waves I fall into, and the green hills, evaded me from reality.

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Apr 6, 2019

Apr 6, 2019 at 6:15 PM UTC

I Dream Of....

I dream of great mansions, Becoming lost in a world in which I cannot understand, Where secrets are hidden away, locked, and untouched in the treasured corners of my unconscious yet conscious mind. I dream of large cities where I wish to escape to. Intimidating buildings pierce the high sky, the wondrous city sounds never get old. The soft lights and elegant music spiral about me, and all the while I'm there sometimes I conclude it's all not a dream. I dream of talking to strangers, having conversations like I know them but I don't. They treat me to coffee or extravagant island resorts, and we have the most electrifying trips. It's like they're real people, but they aren't. I dream of tumbling freely from high buildings, diving carelessly in the bed of foamy waves of the ocean, and running from places I don't know, but I am never hurt. I dream of strolling through wide valleys dotted with blades of overwhelmingly tall grass and a sky of white swirling clouds, And every time I step forward in the vast maze of the valley, plants and flowers sprout from my feet and continue to grow in astonishing speeds, And the wind caresses me gently as I slowly inhale the salty breeze it possesses. I dream of being alone, but when I'm alone in my dreams, I'm filled with the comfort of being able to explore the thoughts of my mind. The comfort of the large houses, the bustling cities whose towers pierce the sky, the strangers who I converse with, the heights I fall from and the waves I fall into, and the green hills, evaded me from reality.

16

Often I forget that I am blessed Often I forget that I am loved That I have people on my side that I am not alone Often I'm so stressed I can't think I forget to relax To breathe and stay calm Often I forget to take it easy Often I forget to not beat myself up over small things Often I forget that there are many worse things I could be going through Often I forget to be grateful for the people in my life Often I forget to treat myself nicely Often I forget to take things one step at a time, instead of overwhelming myself Most often I try not to forget these things.

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Mar 18, 2019

Mar 18, 2019 at 11:26 PM UTC

Often

Often I forget that I am blessed Often I forget that I am loved That I have people on my side that I am not alone Often I'm so stressed I can't think I forget to relax To breathe and stay calm Often I forget to take it easy Often I forget to not beat myself up over small things Often I forget that there are many worse things I could be going through Often I forget to be grateful for the people in my life Often I forget to treat myself nicely Often I forget to take things one step at a time, instead of overwhelming myself Most often I try not to forget these things.

16

I wish he would love me as I love him. I wish someone would wrap me in their arms. I wish I could relate to couple "goals". I wish there was someone to tell me I'm beautiful even though I'm freaking out and look like a mess. I wish someone would dance with me. I wish I could love someone, even though it means losing them.

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Mar 8, 2019

Mar 8, 2019 at 9:15 PM UTC

i wish...

I wish he would love me as I love him. I wish someone would wrap me in their arms. I wish I could relate to couple "goals". I wish there was someone to tell me I'm beautiful even though I'm freaking out and look like a mess. I wish someone would dance with me. I wish I could love someone, even though it means losing them.

9

tired of the way everything's the same tired of walking down the same **** roads tired of keeping feelings in, strangling them for you tired of everyone thinking I'm nothing more than a straight A student just because I'm Asian tired of being judged by girls in the locker room tired of giving lots of love that I'll never get back tired of loved ones leaving tired of losing people because I did something stupid tired of hearing love songs tired of seeing couples and thinking of what we were tired of feeling confused tired of feeling scared tired of not feeling enough tired of being sad tired of hating myself tired of living sometimes but one thing I could never get tired of... you.

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Mar 5, 2019

Mar 5, 2019 at 10:35 PM UTC

tired

tired of the way everything's the same tired of walking down the same **** roads tired of keeping feelings in, strangling them for you tired of everyone thinking I'm nothing more than a straight A student just because I'm Asian tired of being judged by girls in the locker room tired of giving lots of love that I'll never get back tired of loved ones leaving tired of losing people because I did something stupid tired of hearing love songs tired of seeing couples and thinking of what we were tired of feeling confused tired of feeling scared tired of not feeling enough tired of being sad tired of hating myself tired of living sometimes but one thing I could never get tired of... you.

19

inhale, exhale. close your eyes, and count the beats of your heart imagine. imagine that you're far away on a secluded island imagine that you're floating on air imagine that you're sleeping on a cloud imagine you're on a calm beach, waves slow to fall inhale, exhale. close you eyes, and count the beats of your heart dream. dream that you're laying down in a nice flower field with a special someone ;) dream that you and your friends are biking fast down the city on a warm summer's night dream that you're having some boba with your friends on a nice strawberry-sky afternoon on a rooftop inhale, exhale. close you eyes, and count the beats of your heart breathe. breathe and just keep breathing

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Mar 1, 2019

Mar 1, 2019 at 8:57 PM UTC

breathe

inhale, exhale. close your eyes, and count the beats of your heart imagine. imagine that you're far away on a secluded island imagine that you're floating on air imagine that you're sleeping on a cloud imagine you're on a calm beach, waves slow to fall inhale, exhale. close you eyes, and count the beats of your heart dream. dream that you're laying down in a nice flower field with a special someone ;) dream that you and your friends are biking fast down the city on a warm summer's night dream that you're having some boba with your friends on a nice strawberry-sky afternoon on a rooftop inhale, exhale. close you eyes, and count the beats of your heart breathe. breathe and just keep breathing

20

can you tell me when you get tired of me? can you tell me, instead of just leaving it out there? leaving what's oblivious to me become obvious in public, making me look stupid for trying to love you so that people won't look at me through the lense you fixated on me can you tell me when I'm overreacting? can you tell me, instead of just leaving me out there? leaving me to be judged by the people who don't know me, making myself look stupid for making small things look big so that people don't look at me with the impression that I'm just another teenage girl can you tell me when you don't love me anymore? can you tell me, instead of just leaving me? leaving with no warning, leaving me to break down, making me look stupid for giving you a chance so that my heart would hurt less than it already does.

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Feb 27, 2019

Feb 27, 2019 at 9:25 PM UTC

can u tell me...

can you tell me when you get tired of me? can you tell me, instead of just leaving it out there? leaving what's oblivious to me become obvious in public, making me look stupid for trying to love you so that people won't look at me through the lense you fixated on me can you tell me when I'm overreacting? can you tell me, instead of just leaving me out there? leaving me to be judged by the people who don't know me, making myself look stupid for making small things look big so that people don't look at me with the impression that I'm just another teenage girl can you tell me when you don't love me anymore? can you tell me, instead of just leaving me? leaving with no warning, leaving me to break down, making me look stupid for giving you a chance so that my heart would hurt less than it already does.

15

You cared too much about me I guess that's why it hurt when you stopped I never really needed constant reassurance, But you told me I was beautiful anyway I guess you don't know what you have until it's gone right? Because without you, I feel really cheated on my feelings I don't know where to go Because you were the place I went to When I was alone When I was breaking You were my safe haven I still have your number on my phone Like a suicidal hotline to call when I'm feeling down Like a counselor to talk to at school when anxiety kicks in But yet I never call Because you're too busy now And I don't want to step on your life Yes, it hurts you're gone away It hurts that I'm a selfish person and forgot you have a life It hurts that I forgot that a lot of people look to you the same way in the same time But at one point, you only had time for me Now our time, is their time I still feel cheated But you aren't 911 You aren't promised to always show up when I need help You aren't my guardian angel It's not your responsibility to watch over me It just hurts that you did anyway You cared too much about me You loved me too much, even though you never said it You showed it And it still hurts But am I brokenhearted? I don't know. You were never mine.

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Feb 27, 2019

Feb 27, 2019 at 9:11 PM UTC

brokenhearted?

You cared too much about me I guess that's why it hurt when you stopped I never really needed constant reassurance, But you told me I was beautiful anyway I guess you don't know what you have until it's gone right? Because without you, I feel really cheated on my feelings I don't know where to go Because you were the place I went to When I was alone When I was breaking You were my safe haven I still have your number on my phone Like a suicidal hotline to call when I'm feeling down Like a counselor to talk to at school when anxiety kicks in But yet I never call Because you're too busy now And I don't want to step on your life Yes, it hurts you're gone away It hurts that I'm a selfish person and forgot you have a life It hurts that I forgot that a lot of people look to you the same way in the same time But at one point, you only had time for me Now our time, is their time I still feel cheated But you aren't 911 You aren't promised to always show up when I need help You aren't my guardian angel It's not your responsibility to watch over me It just hurts that you did anyway You cared too much about me You loved me too much, even though you never said it You showed it And it still hurts But am I brokenhearted? I don't know. You were never mine.

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