Sometimes I wonder
If I’ll ever heal
Or if there will always be one
Tiny thing
That will send my heart pounding
And head ringing
And your apparition
Will appear before me
Sometimes I wonder
If I’ll always be stuck
With you
Jun 27, 2019
Jun 27, 2019 at 11:10 PM UTC
how can i want to heal yet
keep hurting myself at the same time?
how can i find happiness
when the only thing
that makes me feel good is pain?
Dec 1, 2018
Dec 1, 2018 at 11:34 PM UTC
I lay in bed
And I think back
To when she was beside me
The girl I thought I was
Going to marry
And I laugh bitterly
Because the girl
I wanted to marry
Kissed someone else
And made me have anxiety attacks
She made me cry
And left me feeling worthless
And as I lay in bed
I miss her
But think to myself
That I never want to see her again
Nov 12, 2018
Nov 12, 2018 at 11:44 AM UTC
three lonely words
bouncing in the walls
of my mind
back and forth
back and forth
i whisper them to myself
so much
i almost convince myself
you can hear them
but when i wake up
you're not in my bed
and there's no messages on my phone
so i continue with my day
my heart sinking lower and lower
and the three lonely words
turn into an echo
Sep 24, 2018
Sep 24, 2018 at 9:28 PM UTC
We used to talk until the world went quiet
and the sun would about to wake
now it takes so much energy out of us
to ask how the other has been
We used to constantly say "I love you"
and now I say "I miss you"
and get nothing back in return
You always said that I deserve more
and maybe you were right
but that doesn't make me love you any less
It doesn't make this hurt any less
Sep 8, 2018
Sep 8, 2018 at 7:54 PM UTC
Is it awful of me to wish
That you could feel one
Ounce of what I was feeling?
Maybe I just want to be missed
To be wanted
But you are so happy
And maybe I'm jealous of that
Sep 4, 2018
Sep 4, 2018 at 1:41 PM UTC
I dig my nails into my skin
and sob at my red marked back
I spit out vile words at myself
and lay in bed all day
I caress your skin
trace circles on your bare back
I say nothing but sweet words to you
and hold you in my arms all day
Why don't I treat myself as nice as you do to me?
Why don't I treat myself as nice as I do to you?
Sep 3, 2018
Sep 3, 2018 at 9:42 PM UTC
and i'm not sure if you have noticed
but i'm waiting for this void
to be filled up
by your sweet honey voice
i'm starting to feel like
i am a dying flower
that you no longer flock to
in search of pollination
Sep 3, 2018
Sep 3, 2018 at 9:35 PM UTC
I miss you so much
And I wonder if you
Ever think about me
As much as I
Think about you
Sep 1, 2018
Sep 1, 2018 at 1:05 PM UTC
Her words fell out into
the darkness of her car,
my vision blurry
from the tears flowing
from my eyes
She wipes them away
Her kisses feel like a goodbye
but in my heart
in my veins
in the way the sun rises every morning
I know that she will find her way back to me
that no matter how long we are apart
working on making ourselves the best versions
of who we are meant to be
I know that
she will come back
We hurt so much
because we hurt ourselves
we didn't want any more damage
even though her saying
we need time apart
felt like I was losing a part of myself
She wants to be the best version of herself
for her
but also for me
and my heart will continue to beat
with those words
I know she'll find her way back to me
She is the sun rising every morning
to greet my waking eyes
Aug 31, 2018
Aug 31, 2018 at 12:34 AM UTC