I dewelled on the thought of trying to fix the broken pieces
of this shattered frame that was once filled with the rise of what was holy,
I noticed a pattern,
an undeniable repetitional cycle of never endings,
I believed in fairy tales, I believed in anything,
the innocents I had was what lured me into believing anything,
That's how you ****** me in so quickly, without a breath taken in
It was at firts sight or first interaction , not even snow had fallen yet
and you had already began to wrap me around your ring finger,
You bulit me up to these plans of the unknown future, between the two
"but I still haven't held hands yet",
Brainwashing thoughts of uncanny marriage and birth, *********** and labor,
but my lips are still ******
A different standard of what was right, morals of "love and hate",
but I still didn't understand the meaning of love or what it is "or was"
Beause of the ignorances I regret every part of me,
that lead me into this blief of magical fairy tales,
But it took every part of me to realize my beliefs were taken away,
Mar 20, 2014
Mar 20, 2014 at 2:35 PM UTC
Yesterday I asked myself what do young kids do nowadays for fun? I remember Monday through Sunday I would usually play outside like any other kid would.
Riding my bike in a circle in the parking lot even though I didn't have a lot of space for it.
I remember at 6 pm my parents would call me to get back inside and why do you think that?
Because it was dinner time? Or it was getting cold outside?
No, it wasn't anything like that. They warned me to get back inside before the white man came out again.
24/7 wake up calls by loud rambling nonsense, quite honestly I didn't understand a word.
I felt they were words of utter hatred,
The man who stands made
this child stay in silents,
Kept and locked in,
Despite taking combat,
Stood in silences again,
Brought upon the solid impression,
One of white, one of various colors
could not mix, as one it's self,
Permanently engraved onto a young girls brain,
Bind and in vain onto a five years old perspective,
unable to be overlooked,
thrown like a plastic water bottle,
Littered onto a property of mixed color's,
For it is still stuck onto the hands of a white man,
What was his understanding?
At the age of 5 the only colors I knew were from a coloring book, covered in red, blue, yellow, and green. Never knowing color was defined in different meanings,
Soon enough I realized all that is needed is a one-sided answer,
No matter what I forgive the white man.
Oct 29, 2013
Oct 29, 2013 at 10:20 PM UTC
I hope you always have a reason to smile,
even if I'm not one of them.
It's been awhile, hasn't it my dear?
Every passing day, the struggles of not being with you as a whole, is unbearable and wicked.
I can only imagine what you felt,
alone, longing, and bearing this burden,
I want you to know that you've never letft my mind,
of every second,
of every minute ,
of every hour
of every day,
of every week and month,
I never explained this well, there are only a number of discriptions I can give you but..
I truely love you and I always will my love,
My obligations of a lover is still in play,
No matter what I shall take on my role as your lover,
Just take in mind,
I'm always watching over you,
Promise me you'll smile,
Smile and be happy.
Oct 3, 2013
Oct 3, 2013 at 11:09 AM UTC
Swore to come back,
Once again,
The blossoming white roses,
in blooming season,
Where it all began,
When I saw the light of radiance,
The day I watched the boy,
Afternoon dusk and the sun,
Lifted with flowing energy,
Those months and times,
I told him,
He might stay forever,
He remained,
leaning against a hollow tree,
I found the field of roses again,
In a thorn season of winter,
He was there,
and so was I,
Took back,
reminiscing upon the unforgotten,
memories,
Shelter of warmth and discovery,
A castle of ice and hidden secrets,
Staircase of tattered steps,
one and two,
reaching the top of foundation,
Upon the balcony of spoken truths,
Kneel down for eternity,
I took thy hand for a lifetime,
of love and happiness,
Our journey once again,
continues,
like an never ending story.
Aug 26, 2013
Aug 26, 2013 at 3:30 PM UTC
Somewhere I once discovered,
Somewhere I knew, belonged,
Somewhere only we know,
Beyond your eyes lies silences,
Enclose me with frail gestures,
Unable to touch, thy is too near,
Slightest glances will eat me up,
Closing up one by one, gradually,
Dear, always opens petal by petal,
like the first forget-me-not's, seasoned,
spring,
Desire to be close from you to I,
Life will fade away beautifully,
The soul of this flower witnesses,
Descending snow falls from above,
Can not be stopped nor driven away by force,
Like the ability of your intense fragility,
compelling colors and shades,
Fearing forever with each breathe,
What is it that opens and closes you?
I can only understand through those eyes
A voice of deeper meaning,
a heart like no other that rises,
not even the sounds of rain on the window pane,
can over come it,
nor have a small touch,
gladly beyond.
Aug 23, 2013
Aug 23, 2013 at 11:43 PM UTC
I see the fading lights,
The moving walls,
voices echoing,
hazed eyes,
opening and closing constantly,
glancing left to right motionless,
head spun a million times,
Cursing myself why,
The remorse of this pain and suffering,
This time is different,
sensing ahead of time and present,
fighting against death and reality,
world shattering into blackness,
This is it,
One finally test,
Love,
We've come this far,
From beginning to end,
Our story will never end,
Till after life and forever,
Till death do us part,
I never regretted the times we've spent,
I've cherished your thoughts,
your emotions,
Your love
and happiness,
You are everything,
You are what I lived on,
my partner ,
my companion ,
my one and only,
I love you,
the love I have is everlasting,
Please hold on to everything we had together,
I can only ask now,
Will you stay once I'm gone?
Aug 21, 2013
Aug 21, 2013 at 11:01 PM UTC
Holding on for dear life,
I pity myself in grief and despair,
I apologize,
Stir up mixed emotions,
I can only contain deed, on your behalf,
Stop the tears from falling,
Sadness shall fade away,
I apologize,
The scares you've overcame,
The worries you've overturned,
The bare pain of the unknown,
But it's okay,
I'm here,
once again,
Breathing,
Beating,
and living,
You've sacrificed your mind, soul, and heart,
Your physical, mental, and emotional state,
Now,
Mixed up with each other unknowingly,
It's my own fault for these causes,
I apologize,
I've awaken again,
This time I know I'll promise to raise above into wellness,
I want to continue my cycle of life,
with you,
My love until now and before,
Till the beginning and end,
I want to cherish each moment with you,
I can't stress it enough with these repetition of words,
Simple three,
I love you.
Aug 21, 2013
Aug 21, 2013 at 9:59 PM UTC
I didn't realize or tell that I was ill,
just a little over whelmed,
Your handsomeness formed by hopes and grief,
Brought your complexion a lighten grace,
I knew this couldn't be the final of our story,
The story of my dreams,
But even sleeping I was stunned,
I needed a snap of reality,
Your face,
The delicate features physically inches away from mine and yours,
Pure porcelain aspects,
heartwarming,
petrified,
Difficult to memorize your physique, presents
Unable to refer back to a black and white film,
When I saw your lifeless, sadden, face I can only think,
That glance lifting up with clarity and joy,
We cling and griped onto each other for the limited time
that was given in the dream,
You returned once again,
The more I saw you, repeated intentionally,
I couldn't resist and lean against your touch,
without thinking nothing more then the happiness,
Not worried it would lessen nor fade,
Without thinking I was still alive and beating,
I needed to wake up once more,
and see the light,
to wake up to you,
again.
Aug 20, 2013
Aug 20, 2013 at 9:14 PM UTC
Where can I start?
How,
I'm don't know,
I got rid of all,
the problems,
the sadness,
the depression,
the annoyances,
everything was fine,
And you bring up all this **** back to the surface of things,
telling to someone who's clueless?
Without a care in the world?
Really?
I was done with all that ****
for something so simple,
Really?
I shouldn't even bother with all of the ******** that you put onto me,
just because you can't handle nor control it yourself,
I simply thought my world was finally balanced,
My guess was wrong,
Again,
Such ******* ********
Such a ******* liar,
Pure lies,
right beneath your words,
You really think you can get away with this,
I'll give you hell,
Make you suffer like I do,
I don't care anymore,
You can't tell me but someone else,
Oh,
Watch,
I'll give you a ***** *** attitude,
Since that's what you always say,
Better learn after I teach you,
my true self,
I'm just a *****
Aug 19, 2013
Aug 19, 2013 at 4:23 PM UTC
Everything I do,
Everything I say,
Everything I do seems wrong,
Everything I say seems odd,
There's nothing wrong,
There's nothing to be scared of,
My actions and falling out seem to wreak havoc,
confusion,
in your mind and heart,
I assure you,
Everything is fine,
I promised to say how I feel,
How I undergo my days,
What I'm thinking,
But I worry,
Keen,
Will you tell me,
Your feelings?
Your thoughts?
Anxiety takes a toll,
daily,
It saddens, myself, you,
That your only concerned about my own being,
With doubts forming unknowingly,
I wonder, what am I doing?
Can you tell me, everything?
My beautiful white rose,
Planted firmly down like concrete stone,
Seeded in the depths of the world,
Beneath the solid grounds of density,
Rooted into the middle ends of the earth,
You grow,
You stand ,
Now a bud,
But unable to spread out in full bloom,
When will I be able to see your petals,
pompously,
flourishing
one by one,
It's my turn to nourish,
These worries into rest,
Open.
Aug 18, 2013
Aug 18, 2013 at 10:23 PM UTC