invinsible - Hello Poetry

i live life like i'm dying everyday days pass and time slinks away cheeks hollow and lips whiten eyes that fill with tears too easy now glazed over with pain i live life like i'm dying everyday fingers numb and gaze that stares ahead nails that grip down like i'm on the edge leaving crescent marks in its wake blood that rises but never breaks the surface i live life like i'm dying everyday each peal of laughter a melody for my deathbed every smile and grin leaving me dead i crave scars like words carved into my tombstone sharpening the knife so my heart can beat again i live life like i'm dying everyday i scream silently curled up against porcelain vomiting out molecules that were meant to be digested but each glance at the mirror makes me feel less than ideal fingers clutching the porcelain bowl offering my dinner to the demons instead i live life like i'm dying everyday when my heart thumps irregular and the pain won't go away hiding under covers from the monster no longer underneath the bed but within me instead i live life like i'm dying everyday when tears fall and i hold my breath trying not to lose it all i grip the knife and press it against my chest my heart oddly silent accepting our death i live life like i'm dying everyday a broken marionette who's own thoughts i cannot obey the demon inside of me flips an hourglass and counts away counting down each breath that i take i live life like i'm dying everyday no one hears the screams and cries of no one but a fourteen year old who's mind is too old heart too much in pain wishing her bed was a casket instead.

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Aug 30, 2014

Aug 30, 2014 at 11:57 PM UTC

dying everyday

45

At first You don't feel the pain It's like morphine Creeping through your veins. And then it worms in Settling onto your heart With a grip of vice And it twists and it crumbles Til it bleeds and drips Memories that you once held dear seeping out Broken photo frames capturing single happy moments flowing out Secret conversations full of tears and hugs and smiles tearing out. And I tell myself I must hold on Carry myself high I must move on. Even when your words turn false and uncaring Even when the photos burn and turn into ash and dust Even when you leave with an echoing silence That screams out your broken promises I tell myself, I must hold on, For just a while longer. Just a little longer. So I grasp onto the frayed ends of my hope Pull myself together Fix those glass frames Patch up my heart the best I can Put the memories in an urn Don't I ever want to see them again. I lock away the past, Block you from my future, Try to smile in the present. And And I I'll always love you I'll always remember The crazy times we had. How can I forget you? You're an angel, My best friend. And until the day you come back I just need to hold on Just ... A while longer.

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Jan 31, 2014

Jan 31, 2014 at 11:22 PM UTC

A While Longer

At first You don't feel the pain It's like morphine Creeping through your veins. And then it worms in Settling onto your heart With a grip of vice And it twists and it crumbles Til it bleeds and drips Memories that you once held dear seeping out Broken photo frames capturing single happy moments flowing out Secret conversations full of tears and hugs and smiles tearing out. And I tell myself I must hold on Carry myself high I must move on. Even when your words turn false and uncaring Even when the photos burn and turn into ash and dust Even when you leave with an echoing silence That screams out your broken promises I tell myself, I must hold on, For just a while longer. Just a little longer. So I grasp onto the frayed ends of my hope Pull myself together Fix those glass frames Patch up my heart the best I can Put the memories in an urn Don't I ever want to see them again. I lock away the past, Block you from my future, Try to smile in the present. And And I I'll always love you I'll always remember The crazy times we had. How can I forget you? You're an angel, My best friend. And until the day you come back I just need to hold on Just ... A while longer.

44

Dim light settles Mahogany wood shines Marked with scars Showing old use. The velvet curtain opens Soft music plays They watch with bated breath What they see is not what they expect. She draws in air Deep into her lungs Listening for her moment And so she begins. Soft steps taken hesitantly Ankles flex and point at the ground Calves stretch, the leg extends Knifing an arc through the air. The torso twists Bending elegantly It writhes and moves To its own melodious pain. Tendons move Joints stretch An extended hand Sweeps to heaven. She leaps and twirls She jumps and dances Like she's all alone With moonlight for company. The notes reach a faster pace Racing against time Her leg as taught as a stretched rubber band Curving in towards the knee Arms forming a barrier On one toe she begins to spin. Behind the grace and elegance Behind the layer of sweat-soaked skin Lies withering beauty touched by pain A rose the shade of violent red Chained by its own thorns Enslaved to the pinpricks of red. What will happen When the melody reaches its crescendo When the rose blossoms and thorns extend When the dance of roses reaches its end?

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Aug 3, 2013

Aug 3, 2013 at 11:04 AM UTC

Dances of Roses

Dim light settles Mahogany wood shines Marked with scars Showing old use. The velvet curtain opens Soft music plays They watch with bated breath What they see is not what they expect. She draws in air Deep into her lungs Listening for her moment And so she begins. Soft steps taken hesitantly Ankles flex and point at the ground Calves stretch, the leg extends Knifing an arc through the air. The torso twists Bending elegantly It writhes and moves To its own melodious pain. Tendons move Joints stretch An extended hand Sweeps to heaven. She leaps and twirls She jumps and dances Like she's all alone With moonlight for company. The notes reach a faster pace Racing against time Her leg as taught as a stretched rubber band Curving in towards the knee Arms forming a barrier On one toe she begins to spin. Behind the grace and elegance Behind the layer of sweat-soaked skin Lies withering beauty touched by pain A rose the shade of violent red Chained by its own thorns Enslaved to the pinpricks of red. What will happen When the melody reaches its crescendo When the rose blossoms and thorns extend When the dance of roses reaches its end?

44

Sometimes I love you and it's just Painful Too painful for me to continue For me to fathom what's wrong For me to discern reality from illusions For me to comprehend your lies. Sometimes I hate you and it just ***** Yeah, I said it. Hating you ***** Because life is a lie, love is a lie, My hate for you is a lie- Or is it the truth? I don't know anymore. Sometimes I ignore you and it's just Pure Bliss I close my eyes and ignore you I clap my hands over my ears Pretend I don't hear you Pretend I don't see you Pretend I don't feel you Like I did that night Which was sprinkled with stars like Icing Icing on a cupcake. Sometimes I remember you and it's just Horrifying Two conflicting emotions of deep within battle Fight to seek dominance and reassurance Your love nauseates me and excites me Because I remember drunken words full of poisoned love And I recall your touch that used to heal But now it burns and forever it will hurt It burns and flares greater than any cursed fire. Sometimes I love you, and hate you Sometimes I ignore you, and remember you And life isn't what it used to be It's no longer a fairytale It holds no dram of mercy And love for you is so conflicting So contradicting, so confusing Like yin and yang or something more Faded lines, blurred lies and tear-streaked whispers... Sometimes, I think that Me Loving You Isn't that worthwhile anymore.

0

Jun 25, 2013

Jun 25, 2013 at 12:25 PM UTC

Sometimes

Sometimes I love you and it's just Painful Too painful for me to continue For me to fathom what's wrong For me to discern reality from illusions For me to comprehend your lies. Sometimes I hate you and it just ***** Yeah, I said it. Hating you ***** Because life is a lie, love is a lie, My hate for you is a lie- Or is it the truth? I don't know anymore. Sometimes I ignore you and it's just Pure Bliss I close my eyes and ignore you I clap my hands over my ears Pretend I don't hear you Pretend I don't see you Pretend I don't feel you Like I did that night Which was sprinkled with stars like Icing Icing on a cupcake. Sometimes I remember you and it's just Horrifying Two conflicting emotions of deep within battle Fight to seek dominance and reassurance Your love nauseates me and excites me Because I remember drunken words full of poisoned love And I recall your touch that used to heal But now it burns and forever it will hurt It burns and flares greater than any cursed fire. Sometimes I love you, and hate you Sometimes I ignore you, and remember you And life isn't what it used to be It's no longer a fairytale It holds no dram of mercy And love for you is so conflicting So contradicting, so confusing Like yin and yang or something more Faded lines, blurred lies and tear-streaked whispers... Sometimes, I think that Me Loving You Isn't that worthwhile anymore.

49

I lie alone in the darkness I close my eyes Calling you from a place forsaken A place full of hate and despise. With your help A phoenix from ashes I rise An eagle with an unmatching shadow A story that makes no sense shall flow. You are my bridge You are my lifeline You are what that will lead me out of these lies. You are my weapon You are my guard dog No matter what happens You shall stay by my side. Even if my throne were to fall Even if my crown turns to rust Even if the endless corpses with eyes accusing Turn to glare at the two of us By my side you must stay. This is an order! You can never leave me! You must never lie to me. I will do anything in my power To keep you serving me.

0

Jun 24, 2013

Jun 24, 2013 at 2:37 AM UTC

Even If

I lie alone in the darkness I close my eyes Calling you from a place forsaken A place full of hate and despise. With your help A phoenix from ashes I rise An eagle with an unmatching shadow A story that makes no sense shall flow. You are my bridge You are my lifeline You are what that will lead me out of these lies. You are my weapon You are my guard dog No matter what happens You shall stay by my side. Even if my throne were to fall Even if my crown turns to rust Even if the endless corpses with eyes accusing Turn to glare at the two of us By my side you must stay. This is an order! You can never leave me! You must never lie to me. I will do anything in my power To keep you serving me.

25