I'll move back
Then I'll belong
Where the land is beautiful… the streets are as clear as Lazarus' soul
There I’ll meet my maker, the mother land.
Where I'll belong.
Hold conversations at the top of her hills,
But I’ll come with unwanted baggage, sneaked in from the airport- from a foreign land, to my father’s home,
The luggage is questions, its analysis, its rights, it’s not knowing I have a set place in this society
The land will try to beat these things out of me
Nov 11, 2016
Nov 11, 2016 at 5:22 AM UTC
And I know youll use youre gender nonspecific pronouns,
You think that won't hurt me
Ill tell you say he instead of they... if that's what it is it, it should be what it is. I wont think you any less or more
You can trade in her for him and she for he and its all ok
Its not my fault, its not your fault
You dont choose who you love
That doesnt change that you loved me... once... in august, in may
May day may day I hear you calling
Dont fret, be free I know you loved me three and I loved you two
Its not my fault and its not your fault
You dont chose who you love
And that doesnt change that you loved me once and you love me still
And my heart still beats
Louder than crickets speak in a still, tranquil, night when you walk in a room. And I see you hold stares longer when they walk in than when I did, **** My heart beats in anx-iety but its still all love.
Sep 22, 2016
Sep 22, 2016 at 3:27 PM UTC
Im never ready when I need to be,
I always leave when I should stay
Disconnect when I should connect.
It wasnt going to be any different with you.
I wasnt ready when you were.
Ill be honest, I want the things I cant have.
I tried to be less sabotaging like you asked
On the stairs, hand on my right cheek, you said I need you to know you are enough.
But who wants to settle when the winds beneath your feet and your always moving to greener grass.
At 3am you sent me small hands by keaton Henson
I dont blame you for leaving me cold, hanging, blue ticks, unresponsive.
I still only look for you when all the doors are shut without any windows to jump through,
But even your welcome matt's been removed.
Aug 28, 2016
Aug 28, 2016 at 1:29 PM UTC
It's the last night ill make love to you. Frank ocean's Godspeed will play, loud enough to drown out the countless failed efforts. We pushed our luck.Ill let go of my claim for you; its a free world. It cant even escape our lips that we didnt try. Ive been thrifting too long, I dont wanna have to always make something out of the old. I need that new new. And no one can say we didnt try. Ill make love to you and what other lips couldnt say these will say. Smoke something, with me you could always let the tears shed. We'LL dance with tears in our eyes and better love at our finger tips. Youll find better and ill stop thrifting find that new new, where I love you isnt an apology.
Aug 21, 2016
Aug 21, 2016 at 12:42 PM UTC
There's aways going to be a girl in Bangkok.
I know, I'm the flutter she is the tick tock, cant be silenced, comes out as action, at your finger tips, a text away, it soothes the inability to touch?
There's always gonna be that.
Theres always gonna be a girl in paris,
A little smarter, a little timid flower.
And what was it you said?
I'm a locked open book. A little too much give me love and meaning.
The time we lay on your bed, coversations about the end turned into how you cant feel anyones love. Blood and water hold the same consistency. And I think I can change you.
Aug 12, 2016
Aug 12, 2016 at 10:59 AM UTC
The first night you were gone I drunk my weight in cheap drinks, swayed my hips to music that did not understand me, with lonely boys' elusive hands around my waist.
As the beat changed and got quite enough for me to feel that you were missing, I moved harder and closer to the things that numbed me.
By the 11th day,my mother did not know what to do with me, I wanted to tell her id become as much a stranger to myself as I seemed to her.But words failed, I shrunk within myself, maybe I wasnt a person anymore
On the 24th day I remembered that I was still 24 and should be dancing, should feel more alive,so I took to the persciptions that numbed me enough to feel I had the world ahead of me or atleast in that moment?
I watched a documentary on force
Fed women in Mauritius, by day 30 I wanted nothing to touch my lips and fill my belly, and you tried.
Day 58 found me cleaning the house, I took a shower that did not consist of standing under running water, I combed my hair and oiled my scalp. I called friends back. I also folded at my stomach once more and i was back at 1.
On day 89 I tried, I felt alone, what lingered below the balcony no longer scared me, I woke up to wine, I smoked too much, stumbled in my family home at 5 in the morning. I stopped drinking in the mornings.
Jul 5, 2016
Jul 5, 2016 at 10:35 AM UTC
Ive been meaning to write,
Ive been meaning to write.
But then again there's always someone ive been meaning to write. Theres always someone its about. I open my gmail but most days I dont know where to begin. The card I left you in august just before the leaves turn is still word.
Ive been meaning to write you,
to tell you life after you has been like a bull and some times it is calm, other days it is dragging me in the mud.
When I open my laptop to write, it feels like maybe im running back into a burning house.
You know me darling ive never been good at knowing when to let go.
you know me darling im an open book with a padlock.
What would you think of me. Would you still think me great if I told you that sometimes I held my tongue, that sometimes I held sharp objects alittle too close for comfort.
"It was a long time ago im not that person any more"
"Ok its just I know cleo used to... so if you need..."
"No I could never be that person again"
But sometimes life is a bull that drags you in the mud.
Jun 20, 2016
Jun 20, 2016 at 3:48 PM UTC
Honesty is the best policy!.... or is it privacy
heres both;
My hearts are scattered in 5 different directions and they all feel like home
is that alright?
Not all things need a label, we're not all products up for display and purchase
Is that alright?
Sometimes, gloves fit but there's 6 more pairs you need to try on,
You never have to wait you can go, but kiss me goodbye and promise You'll write.
Theres no such thing as an ending if names are ingraved in mouth pockets
And are never too far from the corners of lips
And you can call to tell me about the time you cried and drunk too much at a party because there was a stranger you could imagine me falling in love with,
I meant to say I love you but the words found themselves tangled in a tornado in my stomach,
Honesty is the best policy.
May 10, 2016
May 10, 2016 at 4:37 PM UTC
come
come tell me what you're thinking about when your nails dig into your nail beds in conversations
i want your demons to play with mine, maybe they'll tire and we'll find our way to content
its an 8th continent and we've both never been
only read detailed travel books on
come lay your face on my lap and tell me about what wakes you up at night
tell me why you look like you're falling in love and mending a broken heart simultaneously
May 8, 2016
May 8, 2016 at 2:35 PM UTC
The things you seem tethered to... that connection will be lost
In the best way, itll be natural in the way it was always meant to be
Seasons will tangle and untangle into eachother like the loves that come and go in peace
Youll stop hitting that unforgiving brick wall
Cause you will no longer turn your back to change
Youll run to it, understand it accommodate it, let it do what it must do to you-
root you further into yourself
See, you'd been seeing it all wrong, its not a colonialist, striping you, leaving you bare.
Stand in the rain, and say amen, its beautiful its happening. so it is.
Post rain, when all the creatures sniff the air, Youll smell love coming in, go slow, stick your hand outside that window and let the sun make love to your skin, call it what it is this time. And perhaps they are the sun. Drawing you out of the shadows, reminding you that its never too late to live the lives you always wanted to, you can go back and forth and you will remain constant. Anchored.
Post-rain, with you the grass is greener, you are enough for everything that surrounds you, and You take no credit.
Its like. Its like. Its like
I wrote you to life
Apr 29, 2016
Apr 29, 2016 at 6:31 PM UTC