i awake upon brewing dawn -
stinge of a last hit waltzes past
my beloveds’ fingertips taunted with ash,
and i succumb to hauntings
how i beckon with lost days
overindulge in spoonfed daggers
my blistered throat parallels zir inflamed ego
suffocated deceptive, guilt - scripted coerced, apologizes
escorted by fault down crimson carpets
what a provocative
refusal of touch names me ****
but the other femme knows another,
another i know well
the grim reaper looms amidst repressed dusk
i plead for rising moons
i appeal for reassurance
query the harlot?
i mustn’t
Dec 13, 2021
Dec 13, 2021 at 2:08 PM UTC
im sorry
i accidentally
made you forget who you were, before i was
became the best, worst thing to walk into your life
killed you with love, gave anything to take everything
made you forget who your friends were, before i was
became the best, engrossing thing to walk into my life
killed me with sadness, tried anything to give me everything
this is when i let you go
push you out of the nest we created
too comfortable to leave
this is when i let you go
before i give you three words
sometimes the people we would die for
end up being the people that **** us
end up turning us into versions of ourselves
we don’t recognize
im sorry i broke the mirror
im sorry i broke you
maybe you met me to realize how much better you can be without
how much better you can be without me
how much better you can be
you kept asking for an out, but i couldn’t let you go
but goodbye is the only way
to bring you back to me
lexie fried
Sep 25, 2021
Sep 25, 2021 at 11:55 AM UTC
I am a crumpled sheet of paper in the hands of my predators
Their hands snaked around me, squeezing the life from my body, leaving me to collapse into their want
Too young to realize, too weak to fight back
………
He choose the game he wanted to play
and I became a dice he could roll around
in the palm of his hands
But this body is my temple, you lost my game and there will never be round two
………
My own thoughts strangled me as my body refused to listen to my brain
To touch my skin felt like fire burning through my veins, fire that ignited my predator
Hopelessly sinking into the bed that became an ocean, water drowning me and continuously pulling me further down
………
She destroyed my innocence where
“playing house” meant I played victim
and she played the predator
But this body is my temple and you
did not receive an invite to my
house party
………
They had the power to take my dignity into the palm of theirs hands and crumble it up
We are told when we crumble up a sheet of paper, you can never make it the way it was before
………
He threw me over his shoulder like a
rag doll and brought me to the place that
was once “my room”and is now “my nightmare”
But this body is my temple and not for you to play
with like a doll you received on a holiday
………
Words disintegrating from my lips with the ashes of consent and destroying my trust for any human to touch my skin
Circling the drain of intimacy
………
They strapped me down and taught me
that crying meant I was “asking for it”
But this body is my temple and
my words are louder than your lies
………
I wear the damage on my heart
My body used against me more than the number of fingers on my hand
………
But this body is my temple and when I
broke free of your *******
my temple grew taller than
your hands could touch me
………
I am a crumpled sheet of paper escaping the hands of my predator
Sep 25, 2021
Sep 25, 2021 at 11:35 AM UTC
a letter to my accidental unrequited love
do you know i sometimes kiss you with eyes open?
to make sure yours are closed
at night, i don’t sleep until your breath turns long
and your heart rate slows
i brush your hair back with my hand,
eyes open
only when yours shut can i close mine
but sometimes i stay up looking at you
because i’m already living a dream
i have a heart disorder that causes a great load of pain
at night when it flares up,
and i try everything in my power to keep it together,
you ask me if i’m okay
i always say yes
because i can longer distinguish if it’s my heart or if it’s you
i’m falling for someone who is incapable of falling for me
who’s not truly over their past love
who can’t give their all
i’m falling for someone who will never love me back
someone stop me
pull me back in
the storm is coming in and i’m slipping in puddles
someone stop me from loving the person
who gets me wet
who’s tears i wipe
who’s heart i hold
she can’t do the same for me
but here i am
she tells me she’s falling for me
i think she’d try to catch me in a trust fall
she’d put her arms out, tell me she’s ready
but once our bodies touch,
her arms would go limp
because she wasn’t lying to me
she was lying to herself the whole time
i won’t leave because i hold on that one day her thoughts will react the way she
begs them to
that she will be here with me
for once, completely here
until then
i get unrequited love
she tells me she can’t balance it all
she lists the people taking up her time
a depressed mom
a best friend falling through her fingers
a job with too many hurt souls
a school with expectations almost as high as her own
me
i ask her if she can take something away in the list
give it a little less at least
i know the answer is the person who writes too many poems about her
i’m the only one who can’t promise forever
so why am i here still?
remember the day i lost who i was?
i convinced myself you were going to breakup with me
you told me you never saw a reason to break up
but, you never gave yourself a reason to stay
Apr 20, 2019
Apr 20, 2019 at 9:50 PM UTC
overwhelming dysphoria abducts me in ****** daylight
like a sophisticated killer
dauntless of phantoms near
certain they will be seized, not
Apr 20, 2019
Apr 20, 2019 at 9:40 PM UTC
i'm sorry
you swam in my sorrows till tip toes reached the bottom, and waves overwhelmed us
Apr 12, 2019
Apr 12, 2019 at 7:28 PM UTC
i'm sorry
tropicana punches greeted bare faces, like the doormat that welcomes your presence
Apr 12, 2019
Apr 12, 2019 at 7:27 PM UTC
let me take you to church on friday nights after gin and whiskey
roar ‘oh my god’ so she knows you like it
take communion when my thighs greet your face
- - - - taste thy gifts, which we are about to receive
knees rap the hardwood floor, make you beg for mercy
whisper sins in my ears, teeth bashed pillows no longer muffle
crying out your confessions, repent
- - - - keep it pseudo with a blindfold
dip deep, deliver baptisms when i get you wet
- - - - god is a woman in this bed, no more ****** mary’s
metamorphose **** into holy water
vocalize moans to the harmony of the gospel
precise fingers conduct the choir
- - - - adagio, andante, allegro - you designate
reach salvation when you ******
- - - - arch your back, thy will be (un)done
Mar 31, 2019
Mar 31, 2019 at 9:01 PM UTC
i’m sorry
goodnight kisses melted into wilting dandelions
whisked elsewhere, faded into somber dreams
Mar 31, 2019
Mar 31, 2019 at 8:57 PM UTC
you weave rainbows through my fingers
but not without the thunderstorm
on a regular portland day, i’m drowning in puddles
you hum sweet promises in my ear
held onto pinky promises a little too tight
midnights turn to sunrise bruises, craters left in my mind
you lay sour patch kisses between my lips
sweet and sour, never knowing which one i’ll taste first
hits the back of my throat, then your gone
Mar 31, 2019
Mar 31, 2019 at 8:56 PM UTC