I linger in the shadows,
rehearsing every line of my prose,
starving for kindred to stay long enough to be mine,
while burying the wires of my seemingly accidental coincidences.
The wisest and most solicitous beings
must drag their pawns across the board.
Checkmate.
I built my realm with careful formulation
The wicked crime to be committed:
forcing spirits in a causal nexus of maneuvers.
I hide the scars that I have scattered on my heart as a child.
The vicious rejections of my being.
That is the architect of my everlasting scheming:
the brutal concealment of a desire to be loved wholly.
Yet you unraveled my soul and saw right through me,
made up your mind long before to stay,
and played the puppet for my sanity without me realizing.
With a wide, knowing smile on your face—
you memorized the choreography of my strategy,
you knew I only care.
3d ago
May 31, 2026 at 11:58 PM UTC
How does one feel okay to discard me instinctively,
While I am left burning with the smoke that has consumed my very being?
The bellowing beast howling through the ashes,
Relentlessly telling me I was not enough.
The ink bleeding onto these pages
Is the post-mortem of how innate my solicitude was toward you.
The salt streams running down my flushed cheeks
Are proof that I would have sat with you through the bloodiest trenches.
Even though my anguish will never ricochet back to drown you,
Even though she is a blinding shooting star lighting your sky—
Is it plausible that I was still profoundly important to you?
That is the cruel, fickle trap of closure.
We are left to swirl the unanswered questions in our artistry.
She possesses a striking consciousness,
But did my devotion require the mere footnotes of your life?
She is granted the grace to be a phantom in your life,
But why was my soul the one condemned to bear your invective?
3d ago
May 31, 2026 at 10:10 PM UTC
I sit quietly in the corner of the room.
The fluorescent lights blinding me,
the hazy blur of bodies throwing taunting words,
that leaves invisible scars on my soul.
I must smile and swallow the age-old lesson "forgive and forget."
I should play mother to the pretentious.
I need to stay poised, a lifeless doll trapped in an All-American dream.
I have to laugh sweetly, choking on the venom.
Politics, gender roles, and important issues.
I will nod my head like a puppet to appease their boulder-sized egos.
I am an ever-giving light,
bleeding out my kindness because that's what’s expected.
I must never let them see the raging beast beneath my ribs.
I should be a machine that cuts its engine the second a man asks.
I need to play into the hypocritical standards, hiding the urge to bite back.
I have to be eternally grateful for the crumbs of attention they graciously throw to me.
I sit quietly in the corner of the room.
4d ago
May 30, 2026 at 11:57 PM UTC
My every waking thought,
is scorched by the ghost of her existence
The permanent place that she's effortlessly kept,
while I spent months hoping to float in his orbit.
It is not loathing that I feel towards her;
It is worse.
It is obsession.
An obsession with the turning mechanics of her brain,
An obsession with how she occupied his mind delicately,
While I am left scavenging for simple afterthoughts.
His insults settle like vitriol on my skin,
acid leaking from my eyes in the dead of night,
I am haunted by the quiet cruelty of his wicked thoughts,
wondering if he always seemed to measure my entity against hers.
A mere duplicate.
That is the only reason he reached for me,
While I foolishly conjured up the hope
That he saw me for me.
4d ago
May 30, 2026 at 10:53 PM UTC
How beautiful it is to feel every emotion in depth,
Yet how overwhelming life feels.
From a person who existed at the same time as me,
To someone from whom I wait for lingering looks.
The anticipation, pining, and desperate yearning.
The hidden smiles, touches in secrecy, and whispers in the dark.
They can't seem to hide the clandestine feelings.
"What are we?"
It is a question that haunts me in the middle of the night.
Everyone knows about us,
But do they know how much I yearn to hear his voice?
How tied I am to his emotions?
It is the worst men I like the most.
It is for the worst men I sacrifice my sanity the most.
Am I cursed to feel this way forever?
A ticking bomb before it explodes,
And all the pieces mark me for life.
However, all I can do is wait,
Enjoy the sunshine,
Sob in the dark.
The ruining of our relationship with time.
It is the only way I know men.
The same old prophecy repeats.
4d ago
May 30, 2026 at 10:22 PM UTC
He came clashing into my life.
With a crinkle in his eye, cursing like a sailor,
I hadn't met anyone quite like him.
So carefree, so unapologetic.
He took me out of my carefully crafted box,
burned all my inhibitions,
told me I was perfectly me,
and then tossed me aside like a toy he didn't want to play with.
Why do I always seem to want the men
who have never ventured to know the real me?
Begging them to accept me,
wanting them to stay.
However, my prophecy is that every man leaves.
Is it a curse or a blessing?
Am I saving my heart from a gruesome fate?
Or am I ripping myself apart, bit by bit?
Will I find a man who sees right through me?
Will I find a man who chooses to cherish me rather than upend my life?
Will I ever get to change my prophecy?
4d ago
May 30, 2026 at 7:09 PM UTC