ileftherathome - Hello Poetry

you were red. you were red every day, like the fiercest sunrise showering the city in its warmest colors. red like the sun on its peak, like the greatest burning fire. red like the juiciest apple, the sweetest strawberry. red like the sexiest lingerie, the most tempting lollipop. and then you changed. or was it my eyes? it changed and you became blue. it was sudden, like a blue night when it pours, you were blue like the sadness. blue like the ocean when it's angry, like the neon lights at the bars, blue like that one old mug, and the lips of a lover when cold from touch. it took me a while, realization came too late – you were never red nor blue, but the brightest purple on the watercolor box. purple. purple. purple like my favorite sunsets, like my cats favorite blanket, purple like grandma's favorite flower, and my mom's favorite pendant. it took me a while to realize, but you were purple to the brim. my favorite person, purple like the sky above, and all the things i love. you were red some days, a bit blue other nights. but it was purple all along.

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Jan 18, 2024

Jan 18, 2024 at 3:08 AM UTC

fire, rain, and my favorite skies

you were red. you were red every day, like the fiercest sunrise showering the city in its warmest colors. red like the sun on its peak, like the greatest burning fire. red like the juiciest apple, the sweetest strawberry. red like the sexiest lingerie, the most tempting lollipop. and then you changed. or was it my eyes? it changed and you became blue. it was sudden, like a blue night when it pours, you were blue like the sadness. blue like the ocean when it's angry, like the neon lights at the bars, blue like that one old mug, and the lips of a lover when cold from touch. it took me a while, realization came too late – you were never red nor blue, but the brightest purple on the watercolor box. purple. purple. purple like my favorite sunsets, like my cats favorite blanket, purple like grandma's favorite flower, and my mom's favorite pendant. it took me a while to realize, but you were purple to the brim. my favorite person, purple like the sky above, and all the things i love. you were red some days, a bit blue other nights. but it was purple all along.

40

And just like that, you broke me. But it wasn't blood that poured out. Growth. As my roots spilled all over, the seeds of my healing. Sprouts of tomorrow. All over. You broke me, but I did not bleed. I forgive me. I forgive you. I forgive us. And I heal, and I grow. And I'm stronger. I move on.

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May 24, 2023

May 24, 2023 at 3:14 AM UTC

Growth.

And just like that, you broke me. But it wasn't blood that poured out. Growth. As my roots spilled all over, the seeds of my healing. Sprouts of tomorrow. All over. You broke me, but I did not bleed. I forgive me. I forgive you. I forgive us. And I heal, and I grow. And I'm stronger. I move on.

17

Do you think it's silly? How I crave all the conversations we never got to share. What happened to our early mornings? What happened to our late night talks? Is your favorite color still the same? Are Wednesday still filled with laughs? Have you been eating your meals every day? Do you belive the stars have ears? What do you crave the most in the world? Will we ever have a second chance? I miss you. I miss the smile you put on my face. I miss your wise words, your company, you. All of you. I still miss you. Sometimes, some days, I think I'm okay. Some days I wake up and you're not here and I understand. Some days I still wake up missing you. The impotence, the emptiness, the hole widens the days I miss you. Today I missed you. Some of my tears, they have your name. I save them for when I feel like I can't do this anymore. They remind me of you, and how alive I felt with you. I need them. I need you. I lost you, but I have you. Can I keep you? Is it okay to keep your memories in a crystal box, is it okay to go back when I need them. Is it okay to keep your smile in my eyes and your voice in my ears. It's okay. Right? I hope you're good. I hope you don't get the bad days. I hope you let someone hold you when you're down. Did I ever tell you just how wonderful you are? You're wonderful. Goodnight.

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Dec 19, 2022

Dec 19, 2022 at 3:55 AM UTC

Untitled

Do you think it's silly? How I crave all the conversations we never got to share. What happened to our early mornings? What happened to our late night talks? Is your favorite color still the same? Are Wednesday still filled with laughs? Have you been eating your meals every day? Do you belive the stars have ears? What do you crave the most in the world? Will we ever have a second chance? I miss you. I miss the smile you put on my face. I miss your wise words, your company, you. All of you. I still miss you. Sometimes, some days, I think I'm okay. Some days I wake up and you're not here and I understand. Some days I still wake up missing you. The impotence, the emptiness, the hole widens the days I miss you. Today I missed you. Some of my tears, they have your name. I save them for when I feel like I can't do this anymore. They remind me of you, and how alive I felt with you. I need them. I need you. I lost you, but I have you. Can I keep you? Is it okay to keep your memories in a crystal box, is it okay to go back when I need them. Is it okay to keep your smile in my eyes and your voice in my ears. It's okay. Right? I hope you're good. I hope you don't get the bad days. I hope you let someone hold you when you're down. Did I ever tell you just how wonderful you are? You're wonderful. Goodnight.

30

I miss you I miss you I miss you, I need you I need you I need you, I crave you I crave you I crave you, I want you I want you I want you, I'm dying without you. There is a hole, there is. And I can't fill it, no matter what. It's you shaped, it's for you only. No one else can fit. Your name carved on my bones. It needs you. My heart, it needs you to be complete. Why did it have to end this way? Why did we have to crash and burn this hard? I'm here even long after you're gone, and I wish I could reach and touch you. I wish I could call for you. I wish I was the moon, so you could miss me so deeply whenever I'm gone. I wish I was the moon, so you could need me whenever the nights are lonely. I wish I was the moon, so you could crave me during the cold nights. I wish I was the moon, so you could still love me so pure and endless. I wish I could've gotten you the moon, you always loved her best. I love you I love you I love you I love you.

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Oct 10, 2022

Oct 10, 2022 at 10:44 AM UTC

You always loved her best.

I miss you I miss you I miss you, I need you I need you I need you, I crave you I crave you I crave you, I want you I want you I want you, I'm dying without you. There is a hole, there is. And I can't fill it, no matter what. It's you shaped, it's for you only. No one else can fit. Your name carved on my bones. It needs you. My heart, it needs you to be complete. Why did it have to end this way? Why did we have to crash and burn this hard? I'm here even long after you're gone, and I wish I could reach and touch you. I wish I could call for you. I wish I was the moon, so you could miss me so deeply whenever I'm gone. I wish I was the moon, so you could need me whenever the nights are lonely. I wish I was the moon, so you could crave me during the cold nights. I wish I was the moon, so you could still love me so pure and endless. I wish I could've gotten you the moon, you always loved her best. I love you I love you I love you I love you.

20

It never feels like autumn down here, the trees are barely orange before they die. You loved autumn though, so I painted my sky in ways that'd make you smile. It made you a little sad, I know, all the things we couldn't share together. You loved to spend time with people, so I painted our time together in a way that'd make you feel warm. I was never pretending, my love was always sincere, were you pretending all along that loving me helped set you free? They say hearts never break the same, I believe that to be true. Its not about the pattern the crack follows, but the way you own a piece to fit your own. How could our hearts break the same when the pain we feel is so different? How could our hearts break the same when they were already broken to begin with. Even if a little bruised, I'll keep your piece of heart in a box. I don't think I'll be returning it soon, I hope you find one that fits you better.

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Jun 12, 2022

Jun 12, 2022 at 12:36 PM UTC

About autumn leaves and how hearts never break the same.

It never feels like autumn down here, the trees are barely orange before they die. You loved autumn though, so I painted my sky in ways that'd make you smile. It made you a little sad, I know, all the things we couldn't share together. You loved to spend time with people, so I painted our time together in a way that'd make you feel warm. I was never pretending, my love was always sincere, were you pretending all along that loving me helped set you free? They say hearts never break the same, I believe that to be true. Its not about the pattern the crack follows, but the way you own a piece to fit your own. How could our hearts break the same when the pain we feel is so different? How could our hearts break the same when they were already broken to begin with. Even if a little bruised, I'll keep your piece of heart in a box. I don't think I'll be returning it soon, I hope you find one that fits you better.

26

i do not know better than loving. it is not something i choose to do, but simply something i do. loving is natural, like a flower blossoming under the sunlight or the rain falling from the sky on a storm, when you love strong enough, life finds its course. and with love the flowers blossom too and with love the rain falls graciously. i do not know better than loving. it is not something i can unlearn, but simply something i was born knowing to do. i do not know better than loving because loving makes me better. there is no better than loving.

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Jul 21, 2021

Jul 21, 2021 at 1:01 AM UTC

better than loving.

i do not know better than loving. it is not something i choose to do, but simply something i do. loving is natural, like a flower blossoming under the sunlight or the rain falling from the sky on a storm, when you love strong enough, life finds its course. and with love the flowers blossom too and with love the rain falls graciously. i do not know better than loving. it is not something i can unlearn, but simply something i was born knowing to do. i do not know better than loving because loving makes me better. there is no better than loving.

20

she once had stars on her eyes that could light up the way back home without the moon helping out and she once had a fire on her heart that could warm up even the coldest night with just the touch of her fingertips ~ but the stars were ripped out and the fire burned out ~ now all she has are a broken pair of wings and a tainted halo and her forsaken form walks the streets of a land she doesnt know but oh, dear, she has never felt more alive than she does on earth

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May 12, 2020

May 12, 2020 at 5:36 AM UTC

un•ho•ly

she once had stars on her eyes that could light up the way back home without the moon helping out and she once had a fire on her heart that could warm up even the coldest night with just the touch of her fingertips ~ but the stars were ripped out and the fire burned out ~ now all she has are a broken pair of wings and a tainted halo and her forsaken form walks the streets of a land she doesnt know but oh, dear, she has never felt more alive than she does on earth

10

am I really that hard to love? or am I just unlovable? it's my fault for pushing everyone away. it's my fault because I'm never there. it's my fault. is it? am I really that hard to love? or am I just afraid of getting hurt? am I really hard to love? should we love? how does one love? am I really that hard to love? or it's just we all love differently. what is love?

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Jan 8, 2020

Jan 8, 2020 at 5:47 AM UTC

L O v E

am I really that hard to love? or am I just unlovable? it's my fault for pushing everyone away. it's my fault because I'm never there. it's my fault. is it? am I really that hard to love? or am I just afraid of getting hurt? am I really hard to love? should we love? how does one love? am I really that hard to love? or it's just we all love differently. what is love?

14

Always be honest to yourself. Good things happen to those who are unafraid to let their souls walk its own path. We are meant to be free, so be it. All the love, my friend. May your journey begin **

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Apr 24, 2019

Apr 24, 2019 at 6:17 PM UTC

Unafraid.

Always be honest to yourself. Good things happen to those who are unafraid to let their souls walk its own path. We are meant to be free, so be it. All the love, my friend. May your journey begin **

6

To everyone I've ever met, to everyone who once tried to get to know me. To everyone who wanted to be my friend, to everyone who had to deal with me. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I'm stubborn. I'm sorry I'm insecure. I'm sorry I locked you out. I'm working on becoming a better me, I've realized I turned into a loner. I. don't. wanna. be. a. loner.

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Dec 6, 2018

Dec 6, 2018 at 3:14 PM UTC

I'm Sorry.

To everyone I've ever met, to everyone who once tried to get to know me. To everyone who wanted to be my friend, to everyone who had to deal with me. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I'm stubborn. I'm sorry I'm insecure. I'm sorry I locked you out. I'm working on becoming a better me, I've realized I turned into a loner. I. don't. wanna. be. a. loner.

11