i am a mess
i dont even know how to handle things without lying
to myself and everyone else
i messed up, million times
always told the world that i'm broken
so maybe i'll find someone who can fix it
i lied, i'm pretending to be a beutiful mess just like you
so maybe you'll stay
or maybe i just love to seeing you
and i just want to be the same
here, i admire you
i want to have your mind
i want to have your soul
i want to have a control over your body
you always said that you are a monster
to me, you are a magnificent beast
i want you, i want you
it doesnt make sense at all
it doesnt even have a rhyme
so what's the point on writing this?
maybe this is just the way that i told you,
that i lied, million times
but i want you
you're my beautiful mess
but what's the point?
but what's the truth?
i dont even know how to be honest, i dont even trust myself
Dec 21, 2018
Dec 21, 2018 at 11:34 PM UTC
Memakan penilaian orang
meminum kegelisahan
tertidur dialasi rasa bersalah
lapar akan cinta
haus akan kasih
beraktivitas untuk mati.
Hidup.
Sep 23, 2018
Sep 23, 2018 at 10:59 PM UTC
I have a long way to go, but have no ride to take me there
Rain is coming and the weight of the day rests on my shoulders.
I want to let it go for just a moment, home is far away.
Since that day in the playgorund, when i was alone tackling the highest monkey bar, i've been on my toes my entire life.
The things that are required of me are always a bit higher than my hand can reach.
The world's expectations stand before me like the Everest. The higher i aim, the higher this mountain of stress grows. I know i can never rest.
The Pills won't extinguish my discontent, so i just bite my tongue and battle the night.
Now i understand why standing in line is the first thing they teach you as a child.
'Human interaction' has become an oxymoron.
The world is brimming with interactions, but there is no place for anything human within them.
I once dreamed because i was afraid of becoming ordinary, now it's all i want.
As i stand all alone in the rain, i realize that if you don't grow, even growing pains are nothing but pain.
The older i get, the more afraid i become. I'm running but my feet and my heart have forgotten why.
Dreams have become baggage. My only option is to leave them and keep running.
They tell me to just take one more step, i raise my head and see that i'm in front of a cliff.
Behind me, expectations are lined up, pretending that they're keeping me standing when really they are busy pushing.
The commas i needed in my life have become entangled with numbers.
The world lends a calculated hand. I don't want to reach for it, but i'm more afraid of being left empty handed.
Time isn't the only thing that goes even when you hold it back.
I look to the cloudy skies, i once could dream but tonight it's hard to even close an eye.
Could you, for a moment, stop and give me a lift?
i can't walk any longer, the wind is blowing and even still
Is there no place for me in this big world?
am I the only one on this road?
Is there not one seat for me?
Home is so far away.
Things i have to do, the money i have to make...
there was something more than that.
I used to have a path, i used to have something that was like a dream.
i had a dream.
May 19, 2018
May 19, 2018 at 1:01 AM UTC
There's always a lot of things that make me captivated by humans
The way they talk,
the way they laugh,
the way they make someone so happy
And i know there's a lot of them that aren't trustable too
they can hurt you in a way you cannot imagine
But that's the beauty of them
how can they still amaze you when they've done something so evil
And that is the thing that makes me look like a fool
Only a fool who willing to get hurt just to see that beautifulness
over and over again
Nov 24, 2017
Nov 24, 2017 at 5:38 AM UTC
My sleepless nights because of thinkin' about "what if"
My countless pray wishing for us to be together again
My adventure, my "oh i'm feelin so alive" thought, my feeling about "whoa life is never been this fun"
has finally comes to an end.
when we ended this thing, we thought this is for the best for both of us. But, c'mon....a better life or a better fresh start is a numbness i feel in my whole heart? really?
Sep 26, 2017
Sep 26, 2017 at 5:28 PM UTC
So if you're ever wondering if someone thinks about you from time to time
i guess maybe this is ur answer ;
i think about you a lot.
It was and it always be a long thoughts like the road that'll never ends.
Sometimes the thoughts comes as clear as the ocean water,
but sometimes it just like a storm that wreck every nerve cells on my brain.
But still, i think about you a lot
and i wonder
if you thinking about me too.
Sep 25, 2017
Sep 25, 2017 at 5:41 AM UTC
Coffee makes me feel so alive
Rain makes me feel so relax
And You makes me feel so pleasant
Imagine that, i would have such a delightful life if those elements combine.
But for now, i just need to be please just by coffee on my desk and rain outside my room.
Cause there's no you.
Not yet.
Sep 25, 2017
Sep 25, 2017 at 5:37 AM UTC